British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 695

A blundering minister said a woman from Bolton who is looking for work should apply for a job in 'nearby' Sunderland - which is in fact 143 miles away.

Economic secretary Chloe Smith said the part-time carer should look for a full-time job at the expanding Nissan factory in the north-east.

If the worker was to commute to Sunderland, the journey would take two-and-a-half hours to drive - or four hours on the train.

Ignorant Tory prat

I've now become so jaded and disinterested in modern culture that I thought all of this Kony stuff on Facebook was to do with a new rapper.

People wonder how this child abductor rose to such prominence, but I think his name sounding like an ice cream van probably had a lot to do with it.

The only way to beat Kony is to organise all the kids in Uganda into a big militia to fight him. Of course they'd have to be armed and you'd need to be quite brutal with them to stop them just bunking off...

Oh, someone just shoot him. What's the big deal. He's clearly an arsehole.

Who me?

Piss off!

As for Kony he's just the new Baden Powel, except because he's black everyone picks on him.

Quote: sootyj @ March 9 2012, 1:47 PM GMT

Who me?

Piss off!

Laughing out loud

Quote: sootyj @ March 8 2012, 2:54 PM GMT

Saville was an eccentric with a strong bond with his mother and aparently little sex drive. He may have a complex psychological profile.

It doesn't make him a paedophile.

I guess The Now Show won't choose to wheel out their Savile impression tonight.

Quote: Nogget @ March 9 2012, 6:00 AM GMT

I would have thought that the ultimate first hand experience of the cost of war might make at least one of them say "hang on, this really isn't worth it, let's make sure no more of my mates gets killed".

I've been watching Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan and a severely injured Marine said something like "I'd like to go back there with a chain gun and kill every last one of the Taliban."

Quote: DaButt @ March 9 2012, 5:56 PM GMT

I've been watching Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan and a severely injured Marine said something like "I'd like to go back there with a chain gun and kill every last one of the Taliban."

I'm guessing that's also not strictly "doing your duty" as the Lieutenant was talking about.

Quote: Nogget @ March 9 2012, 6:02 PM GMT

I'm guessing that's also not strictly "doing your duty" as the Lieutenant was talking about.

Killing Taliban is their duty.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/hisss-hers-women-best-spotting-snakes-185554307.html

How very curious

Quote: DaButt @ March 9 2012, 6:24 PM GMT

Killing Taliban is their duty.

Killing every last one of them, you said. I think murdering captives is still considered a war crime, isn't it?

Not if they're brown captives.

What was it Tommy Trinder said?

'Somebody said to me if the Germans catch you they'll shoot you. I said if they can catch me, they're entitled to shoot me!'

Quote: AJGO @ March 9 2012, 8:14 PM GMT

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/hisss-hers-women-best-spotting-snakes-185554307.html

How very curious

Another scientist that clearly has got f**k all better to do with his time!

FIND A CURE FOR CANCER

Quit pissin around Poindexter!

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