Status report Page 4,347

Quote: Will Cam @ March 8 2012, 9:26 PM GMT

4% battery on iPad

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WILL CAM IS SITTING IDLY IN HIS PARLOUR LOOKING AT HIS IPAD
BY IPAD DEAR READER WHAT IS MEANT IS 2 FRAMED BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS OF WELL UPHOLSTERED LADIES POOPING IN A POTTY.
THEY FLICK BACK AND FORTH GIVING A CRUDE SIMULACRUM OF SAID LADIES ACTUALLY DEFECATING

WILL
Eee isn't modern technology grand. Thank you Mr Jobs these ladies jobs is giving me quite the thrill.

THE PICTURES START FLICKING MORE SLOWLY

WILL
By eck the battery on t' ipad is running down women.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL THE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE ATTACHED BY A COMPLEX ARRANGEMENT OF COGS TO A STATIC PENNY FARTHING
MRS WILLCAM IS PEDALLING SAID PENNY FARTHING TO MAKE WILL CAM'S PHOTOS FLICK BACK AND FORTH

MRS WILLCAM
But Will my cholera is playing me up something terrible. Can't you just have a J Arthur and let me go down t' plague hospital to shuffle off me mortal coil?

WILL
No sorry my pigeon. I've waited too blasted long to view 2 scrubbers one chamber pot. Oh silly Will I haven't attached the lead.

MRS WILLCAM
Oh Will show mercy.

WILLCAM ATTACHES SOOTYJ (THE WHIPPET'S) LEAD TO THE SMALL REAR WHEEL OF THE PENNYFARTHING. SOOTYJ IMMEDIATELY TRYS TO BITE MRS WILLCAM ON THE POSTERIOR MAKING HER PEDAL FASTER.

WILL SETTLES BACK TO LOOK AT HIS PHOTOS NOW FLICKING AT QUITE A RATE.

WILLCAM RUBS HIS KNEES IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER

WILLCAM
He! he! Turned out nice again/.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ March 8 2012, 10:11 PM GMT

Hey sootyj? Are you going to sardonicus any Kony stuff?

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The only Kony stuff I produce is my shit after eating sweetcorn at a Harvester.

Quote: Oldrocker @ March 8 2012, 10:04 PM GMT

Extension leads are about £4 in Asda.

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I refuse as a direct protest to Apple's poor design.

Quote: sootyj @ March 8 2012, 10:19 PM GMT

WILL CAM IS SITTING IDLY IN HIS PARLOUR LOOKING AT HIS IPAD
BY IPAD DEAR READER WHAT IS MEANT IS 2 FRAMED BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS OF WELL UPHOLSTERED LADIES POOPING IN A POTTY.
THEY FLICK BACK AND FORTH GIVING A CRUDE SIMULACRUM OF SAID LADIES ACTUALLY DEFECATING

WILL
Eee isn't modern technology grand. Thank you Mr Jobs these ladies jobs is giving me quite the thrill.

THE PICTURES START FLICKING MORE SLOWLY

WILL
By eck the battery on t' ipad is running down women.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL THE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE ATTACHED BY A COMPLEX ARRANGEMENT OF COGS TO A STATIC PENNY FARTHING
MRS WILLCAM IS PEDALLING SAID PENNY FARTHING TO MAKE WILL CAM'S PHOTOS FLICK BACK AND FORTH

MRS WILLCAM
But Will my cholera is playing me up something terrible. Can't you just have a J Arthur and let me go down t' plague hospital to shuffle off me mortal coil?

WILL
No sorry my pigeon. I've waited too blasted long to view 2 scrubbers one chamber pot. Oh silly Will I haven't attached the lead.

MRS WILLCAM
Oh Will show mercy.

WILLCAM ATTACHES SOOTYJ (THE WHIPPET'S) LEAD TO THE SMALL REAR WHEEL OF THE PENNYFARTHING. SOOTYJ IMMEDIATELY TRYS TO BITE MRS WILLCAM ON THE POSTERIOR MAKING HER PEDAL FASTER.

WILL SETTLES BACK TO LOOK AT HIS PHOTOS NOW FLICKING AT QUITE A RATE.

WILLCAM RUBS HIS KNEES IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER

WILLCAM
He! he! Turned out nice again/.

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F**king priceless.

Quote: L.E. @ March 8 2012, 9:57 AM GMT

Ellie is in bed... with a member of the BCG. Have a guess who?!

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So you talked him into it!

Quote: Will Cam @ March 8 2012, 10:41 PM GMT

I refuse as a direct protest to Apple's poor design.

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I'm sure the ghost of Steve Jobs is racked with guilt over your predicament.

Depends on the conciesness of what organism he's been reincarnated as.

Thanks WIll, I've gotta think if I can do anything with those skits.

Just put a very tiny snippet of something Eldon and Lowe shaped on my website:

http://comedyburble.com/2012/03/08/missing-scene-crab-handed/

Quote: Matthew Stott @ March 9 2012, 10:04 AM GMT

Just put a very tiny snippet of something Eldon and Lowe shaped on my website:

http://comedyburble.com/2012/03/08/missing-scene-crab-handed/

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I enjoyed that Matthew

Just thought of changing my name by 'Deed Poll' Magenta Devine is great, but I like Stella Maris, anyone else thought of silly things?...

Quote: dellas @ March 9 2012, 1:19 PM GMT

Just thought of changing my name by 'Deed Poll' Magenta Devine is great, but I like Stella Maris, anyone else thought of silly things?...

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You don't need 'Deed Poll'... you can change your name any time you like for free. Give it a try see how you like it.

Quote: sootyj @ March 8 2012, 10:19 PM GMT

WILL
No sorry my pigeon. I've waited too blasted long to view 2 scrubbers one chamber pot. Oh silly Will I haven't attached the lead.

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I could honestly read one of these skits a day. Keep them coming.

What name for you rwayne?...

Quote: dellas @ March 9 2012, 1:24 PM GMT

What name for you rwayne?...

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I'm happy with mine. There may be one or two, on here, that might have some suggestions though I'm sure.
(Thought I'd better add a 'face' some people on here are easily confused)

Quote: Matthew Stott @ March 9 2012, 10:04 AM GMT

Just put a very tiny snippet of something Eldon and Lowe shaped on my website:

http://comedyburble.com/2012/03/08/missing-scene-crab-handed/

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That was great. I want to see more

Quote: Will Cam @ March 9 2012, 1:09 PM GMT

I enjoyed that Matthew

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Thank-

Quote: Bob Hicks @ March 9 2012, 4:35 PM GMT

That was great. I want to see more

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-you.