NJ Google

Justin - The best analogy to describe the new Google Privacy policy is they've drilled a hole in the changing room of your search history and invited their friends along to watch you undress. The detractors of this policy have realised a short film to show Google the page 404 error of their ways

F/X Fast tempo music like the MPAA Anti Piracy Adverts (you get on DVDS) plays throughout

V/O - You wouldn't use binoculars to watch women try on bras

F/X Woman screams

V/O - You wouldn't look in a ladies handbag

Woman -That's a joke present from a Hen night

F/X loud vibrating noise

V/O - You wouldn't read peoples letters

Man 1 - Congratulations you're Royal Mail employee of the month

V/O - You wouldn't approach an arguing couple and ask for the back story

Man 2 - Mind your business!

F/X MAN being punched

F/X - Invading privacy is a crime (Beat) Probably. It's definitely rude. I heard someone say in the post office

END

Nice idea, good opening, but I don't think the examples in the advert are strong enough. Needed a rewrite, but on the right track.

I did a similar sketch to this blahblah, but your intro was far better. I liked my Google spokesman's name though, 'Bing Swank'.

Thanks for comments so far. I was really proud of intro so pleased you liked it. I think the reason I was happy with intro was because I wrote two Google sketches both with different intros and combined the best jokes. So think I'll do that this week too

As already said I like the set up at the beginning. I also like the idea you have run with. The punchline just seems to be lacking a little strength. Sorry.

Not bad at all, much better than my Google idea. Though perhaps lacks a big finish to the sketch, so the only critique I can think to give is maybe trying to finish on a stronger punch line at the end.

No need to say sorry Batleywriterthat's why I post stuff here. And you and Death raise good points. Because I was mocking advert I didn't think about punchline I just changed the lines. It should build up to a punchline

Good effort, particularly like the 404 gag

Great start, though I think if you'd subverted it you may get a bigger laugh; perhaps something like: "The best analogy to describe the new Google Privacy policy is they've drilled a hole in the changing room of your search history and invited their friends along to watch you spy on your neighbour".

Good sketch and the pace is excellent but, as RJ says, you need stronger examples. Also, try for only three examples, with the best one at the end. There's a rhythm to three and you kind of break that in your sketch and it loses impact and momentum because of it.

'Bing Swank' is fantastic btw Gerry. Kudos.

Dan