Notice on front door...
NO CALLERS
Particularly....
Tree Cutters.
Double Glazers.
Tarmackers.
Gutterers.
Roofers.
Car Washers.
Dog minders.
Sponsored Walkers.
Aunt Fanny's bad Breathe Funders.
I don't need my f**king Hoover servicing.
My f**king cat doesn't need its f**king teeth bleaching.
If you want sex, ring the bell three times.
If I'm not in I'll be at my therapists.
Good - a few more bizarre cold-callers would be nice to explore though. 
I added a couple
I would also add some jokes to the lines e.g. something like 'no jehovah witnesses unless you want to witness my fist in your face' etc.
Quote: ajp29 @ January 19, 2008, 3:35 PMI would also add some jokes to the lines e.g. something like 'no jehovah witnesses unless you want to witness my fist in your face' etc.
*steals joke and conseals in jacket*
If I saw it as a notice written on an actual door I would laugh. Other than that, I'm wondering what the application for this would be. That is, if you intend for it to have one.
I just put it up to amuse...hopefully. It came to me whilst I was hoovering
Good to see that you're not letting writing overwhelm your domestic duties BB.
My hoover needs a good servicing
Quote: bushbaby @ January 19, 2008, 6:33 PM
Not a slovak is it? Try a brush
Quote: bushbaby @ January 19, 2008, 6:33 PM
Just your hoover?
Does that not include ringing three times?
Does nobody really get this? It's a prostitute that is soooooo frustrated/pissed off with other callers who don't want what she's selling, she needs therapy
Quote: bushbaby @ January 19, 2008, 12:46 PMNotice on my front door...
I think because you say "my front door" it's less obvious...unless that is your trade? 
That's what threw me, i thought you were just having a bad day.
Quote: EllieJP @ January 19, 2008, 9:00 PMI think because you say "my front door" it's less obvious...unless that is your trade?
I'm as pure as the driven snow