NJ Drought

JUSTIN:New research has established that the Mayan civilisation collapsed as the result of what climatologists describe as a 'mild drought'. Newsjack wonders what lessons can be learnt. Would Chichen Itza be a thriving modern metropolis had the Maya shared a bath? And do hosepipe bans in the south-east and East Anglia portend worse to come? We asked BBC Radio 4 Xtra weathergirl Katie Treehouse. So Katie, what does the weather have in store?

KATIE:Well, Justin, the dry conditions in southern parts looks set to persist into April, with a prevailing westerly or south-westerly weather pattern bringing in famine, pestilence and the break down of society into warring clans.

JUSTINo we are in for a scorcher then?

KATIE:Yes, though in these conditions it is important to take sensible precautions.

JUSTINon't forget the sunscreen and drink plenty of liquids?

KATIE:That's right, and if you can fashion some primitive weapons and forge alliances with the neighbours that should enable you to retain access to dwindling water supplies.

JUSTIN:A handy hint. And can nothing be done to prevent this impending apocalypse?

KATIE:Extrapolating from historical data our computer generated model predicts that as societal structures break down Royals, ministers and other discredited authority figures will be ritually sacrificed in a despairing attempt to appease the gods.

JUSTIN:I was thinking more in terms of cloud seeding, but if it does the trick...

KATIE:Ha ha, I am afraid the idea that the weather can be influenced by propitiating deities through bloody human sacrifice is one of those enduring old wives tales. Like predicting rain from seaweed or cows lying down.

JUSTINo you would not advise that we scoop out David Cameron's and Nick Clegg's hearts to burn upon an altar?

KATIEf course there can sometimes there can be something to these old superstitions.

JUSTIN:No harm in giving them a go. And for the week ahead?

KATIE:Continuing dry with an eighty per cent chance of the abandonment of cities and a return to hunter-gathering. Turning cloudy later with showers likely in the north-west.

JUSTIN:Katie Treehouse, thank you. So a barbecue summer. I can't wait.

END

Like the concept but the sketch needs a lot of trimming (especially at the start). All right jokes but too much between them.

You are right that one gag in a long intro is not enough. But I had been fairly happy with the gag rate in the rest of the sketch.

This:

Quote: Timbo @ March 1 2012, 6:28 PM GMT

KATIE:Well, Justin, the dry conditions in southern parts looks set to persist into April, with a prevailing westerly or south-westerly weather pattern bringing in famine, pestilence and the break down of society into warring clans.

View original

is a brilliant start to *any* sketch!

I like it. A lot.

The only thing is that it's *very* talky. If we could somehow paint a picture of the arm-waving weathergirl (ie 'extremely high pressure coming in from...' and a 'cold front rising up...'

Maybe even Justin being infatuated with her or something, just for some more 'action'?

Dan

Cheers, Dan. You are quite right that I need to inject more action and character into sketches. Very much my weakness.

Swerytd's critique is better than mine. It's the talkiness (that's SO a word) and staticness (ditto) of the sketch that's the problem rather than the length. Katie and Justin need to have some sort of (for want of a better word) relationship between them.

As I said earlier on another board - Timbo can definitely good sketches.

(Apologies for being so inarticulate. Really tired.)

Cheers Stu for the clarification. Always grateful for criticism I can work with.

You sound done in mate?

I'm good. Just want some sleep.

Thinking back on this I think the tone I adopted here was deliberate - that it would be funny to juxtapose the banal tone of a weather report with prophecy of an apocalypse. Probably I was wrong. Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

Quote: Timbo @ March 5 2012, 10:33 AM GMT

Thinking back on this I think the tone I adopted here was deliberate - that it would be funny to juxtapose the banal tone of a weather report with prophecy of an apocalypse. Probably I was wrong. Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

View original

No, no, the juxtaposition was a beautiful concept, I don't think it was applied correctly. It would have been much funnier if it was a Channel 5 style happy smiley weather girl, using meteorological terms for the break down of society. Just continually replaying that idea into farce. At least as soon as I got the idea this struck me as the funniest angle. I think perhaps in the future take an angle and take it as far as you can, not breaking away to add other funnier jokes which don't quite match the characters or the theme.

Quote: Timbo @ March 1 2012, 6:28 PM GMT

KATIE:
Well, Justin, the dry conditions in southern parts looks set to persist into April, with a prevailing westerly or south-westerly weather pattern bringing in famine, pestilence and the break down of society into warring clans.

View original

Quote: Timbo @ March 1 2012, 6:28 PM GMT

KATIE:
Continuing dry with an eighty per cent chance of the abandonment of cities and a return to hunter-gathering. Turning cloudy later with showers likely in the north-west.

View original

I recognise gold when I see it. If I were you I'd be feeling pretty happy with myself on this one. Quality. F**k Newsjack, this Katie character and her dialogue belongs in a reoccuring sketch or show or whatever it is you kids write these days

Quote: Timbo @ March 5 2012, 10:33 AM GMT

Thinking back on this I think the tone I adopted here was deliberate - that it would be funny to juxtapose the banal tone of a weather report with prophecy of an apocalypse.

View original

Spot on.

Cheers guys, appreciated.