Hospital Humour

i was at the hospital the other day and went to the opticians.it was a real eye opener to see what went on around the place.

i wanted glasses 1 rack had nhs glasses buy 1get 1 free.i picked up a pair and the other rack was nhs cheepos, the freebie was a bloody eye patch talk about 2 for the price of 1

the doctors pager went off in the hospital I asked is that for a patient, he looked at me and said no the bleeping on my pager means my tea is ready in the microwave

looking around the theatre in the hospital when a patient was being operated on was like shopping in tescos a pork leg chop here, a liver, or kidney or mince pies available for your tea

hospital food is crap as they say I thought the food was for patients as kids it wasnt it was jelly and icecream for chimps tea partys

the surgeons do valentines day on a weekly basis pulling peoples heartstrings

I'm not sure what feedback you're looking for.

As it is these are short but they're pretty much all poorly structured.

You're working on the basis of loosish associations between ideas as opposed to actually structured jokes.

Something like

"I went out with an opticiain. She opened my eyes."

or

"I dated a cardio surgeon. But he just pulled on my heart strings."

Hospital is a good place to find subjects for humour and you got plenty of ideas, but they are put together a little too loosely. Play around with them again and take only the necessary words from each to get the joke across.

thanks english isnt my strong point.i could do with help on getting the point across of my jokes

I can see where you are trying to come from with your jokes but they are all a bit actual jokey or punny. I'm not sure if this would work but I think you have a good mind for comedy and structured better you might have something but not in their current context.

thanks for your advice which is helpful and I will take on board