British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 314

One of our biggest punters has just put a large bet on Redknapp being the next England manager. She's pretty shrewd this Rosie.

I would never have thought of that.

Hold on
Harry or Louise?

Laughing out loud

Quote: Gerry McDonnell @ February 8 2012, 10:31 PM GMT

One of our biggest punters has just put a large bet on Redknapp being the next England manager. She's pretty shrewd this Rosie.

Out of interest, what is a large bet?

Quote: bigfella @ February 8 2012, 10:51 PM GMT

Out of interest, what is a large bet?

Sorry BF, it was my attempt at a joke, I was implying that Redknapp placed the bet himself. Not one of my better efforts :)

Rosie, the dog!

That's me being thick as shit!

No it's just I witnessed the worlds scruffist Irish fella placing a grand bet on a horse race in betfred the other day.

Quote: bigfella @ February 8 2012, 11:03 PM GMT

No it's just I witnessed the worlds scruffist Irish fella placing a grand bet on a horse race in betfred the other day.

Bloody hell, did he win?

Haven't got a clue, it was a race later in the day.

I was playing cool, pretending I saw that sort of thing everyday. I put my 2 quid goals galore bet on in some shame afterwards.

Quote: bigfella @ February 8 2012, 11:08 PM GMT

Haven't got a clue, it was a race later in the day.

I was playing cool, pretending I saw that sort of thing everyday. I put my 2 quid goals galore bet on in some shame afterwards.

Laughing out loud

Quote: Badge @ February 8 2012, 9:40 PM GMT

Statement by Liverpool FC on 3rd January when they decided not to appeal Suarez's ban: "It is time to put the Luis Suarez matter to rest..."

Kenny Dalglish interviewed later that evening: "There's a lot of things we'd love to say...but there's a huge restraint on us, what we can say and we can't say"

Kenny Dalglish interviewed this Monday: "It's fantastic to have him (Suarez) back. He should never have been out in the first place."

Well done for putting it to rest, Kenny!

MEDIA: KENNY, KENNY, WHAT ABOUT THE SUAREZ BAN KENNY, HE'S A RACIST ISN'T HE KENNY? KENNY SAY SOMETHING ABOUT SUAREZ!!!!

KENNY: Hmm, I'd like to put it to rest really.

MEDIA: KENNY SAY MORE THINGS ABOUT THAT RACIST SUAREZ, SHOULD WE ALL BE RACISTS NOW KENNY? HE'S STILL BANNED ISN'T HE KENNY, THAT SUAREZ, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO COPE WITHOUT HIM? SUAREZ, SUAREZ, SUAREZ. SHOULD THE FANS BE SUPPORTING HIM KENNY?

KENNY: I'm just sort of concentrating on the games in hand.

MEDIA: SUAREZ, SUAREZ, SUAREZ...

KENNY: I was dissapointed with that Bolton result.

MEDIA: SUAREZ, SUAREZ, SUAREZ, RACIST RACIST RACIST, DISGUSTING LIVERPOOL RACISTS..

KENNY: I'm very proud of how we played against City there, it's great for us to get back to Wembley.

MEDIA: SUAREZ, SUAREZ, SUAREZ...UNITED COMING UP KENNY, SUAREZ, SUAREZ, SUAREZ, RACISM, SUAREZ, LIVERPOOL RACISTS KENNY, SUAREZ.

KENNY: That was a great result against United, the lads did themselves proud there.

MEDIA: SUAREZ, SUAREZ, SUAREZ...FANS BOOED EVRA KENNY, SUAREZ, SUAREZ, SUAREZ, RACISM, SUAREZ, LIVERPOOL RACISTS KENNY, SUAREZ. SPURS COMING UP KENNY, SUAREZ IS BACK, IS HE STILL A RACIST KENNY?

Kenny: We played well against Spurs there, shame we couldn't take the 3 points.

MEDIA: SUAREZ, KENNY, SUAREZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KENNY: It's great to have Suarez back. He should never have been banned.

MEDIA: KENNY DALGLISH WILL NOT LET THE SUAREZ THING GO!!!

What's wrong with just saying "It's great to have him back"?

Quote: Badge @ February 9 2012, 10:31 AM GMT

What's wrong with just saying "It's great to have him back"?

Maybe he should have. But I do think it's hypocritical of the media to constantly bang on about it, and then claim that Kenny won't let the thing go.

I think Kenny is still very pissed off with the way the whole Suarez affair has been handled by both the FA and the British media.

Maybe Kenny is a man who should know what the media are all about, and go back to giving them absolutely nothing in press conferences other than yes or no answers. It is impossible to engage the British media in a rational and sensible debate. Hysteria always wins out, because hysteria sells papers.

Talking of betting; I once went to a Pontefract night race meeting. I had taken £20 for each race to bet on.
As I stood in the queue to give my hard earned cash to the bookie, I noticed John Parrot the snooker player was stood right in front of me waiting to bet too.
I thought 'he's a celeb - he might be in the know' so I leaned forward and cocked my ear when it was his turn.

He said £5 on the favourite please. Five quid!

Talking of which.. I've seen 'Arry at Fontwell, Goodwood, Kempton, Sandown...

..and don't get me started on Le Tiss..

Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney both say it would be great for Harry Redknapp to be the England manager.

Of course they do. Anything to disrupt a rival in the Premier League race.

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