Misuse Sketch

Int. Office

Keith and Tim are sat at their desks working on their PC. The door opens and in walks Richard with a clipboard.

Richard: Right, gentlemen, the company stock take is now finished.

Keith: Oh yeah?

Richard: And I've discovered that this office is using a rather large amount of paper.

Tim: Yeah?

Richard: Yes! An 'unusual' amount!

Keith: Well, that's because we've been so busy.

Richard: Oh, it's because you've been busy? I see, I see.

Tim: Yeah. It's always busy this time of year.

Richard goes over to Tim's bin, picks it up and pours out the contents. Lots of paper aeroplanes tumble out. Richard picks up one of the planes and throws it.

Tim: It's not.... it's not, uh.... what you think?

Richard: Oh really?

Richard goes over to Keith's bin, picks it up and pours out the contents. It's a long paper chain of men. Richard extends them and suddenly snaps them. He then points to one corner of the office.

Richard: And what exactly is 'that'?

Keith and Tim look over to the corner.

Keith: Oh, that's Cool Carl.

Camera pans across to show Cool Carl. He is a 'man' made up of screwed up paper balls. He is wearing a pair of shades, baseball cap and leather jacket.

END

I liked this...i love the idea of finding tonnes of papaer aeroplanes every where...if you filmed it you could even have plans up on making the best aeroplane. And Cool Carl..haha! Excellent!

Very funny.
I particularly liked "Cool Carl"!

I was going to say I wouldn't change it at all, but I think the way Richard is introduced is artificial. I don't think you need to have him 'introduced' at all, just have him walk in with a clipboard, maybe say something like: "Well sirs, the stock-check has revealed..."

Anyway, I really liked it.

Nice one. Though I'd have punched out on the line "Oh, that's Cool Carl".

Quote: David Bussell @ January 17, 2008, 3:14 PM

Nice one. Though I'd have punched out on the line "Oh, that's Cool Carl".

View original

Yeah, maybe.

I think you're right, David. I'll edit the rest out and leave Cool Carl as the reveal.

James is right as well. The introduction of Richard is a little artificial. I'll work at that one.

Well done on the edit. You need to shoot this.

Yeah, definitely. "Cool Carl"!!
Still cracking me up.

Haha! It's still making me laugh too, and actually making me want to produce a Cool Carl of my own! Much better with the edit!

I actually made one once, but it was called Rahul. He was a guy who used to be my housemate, and the rest of us felt lonely without him so I made a 'duplicate'. It was so lifelike, of course, that I half expected the real Rahul to disappear in a puff of smoke upon seeing his doppelganger. He was sat in the downstairs toilet for weeks wearing a pair of earphones.

You could save a bit of paper by attaching paper to a real person, so you get the shape right. Oh, and as I can't resist a nob-gag how about a rolled up bit of paper for his willy? Have I gone too far?

This is excellent. I'd trim the intro as James suggests. Plus Richard suddenly transforms into the manager in one direction. Consistency in name tags is less confusing. It's apparent that Richard has authority anyway so no need to re-emphasise with a sudden title in the text.

Oh yeah, SlagA, I didn't notice that. He was just known as manager as I was putting it together. I must have missed editing that one!

Intro now edited.