British Comedy Guide

Your Top 10 Lists... Page 31

My neighbour-from-Hell's Top Ten things to do in Southampton:

1) Buy underweight ten bag;
2) Complain to teenage supplier about underweight ten bag;
3) Get threatened by teenage supplier's gang;
4) Threaten them back;
5) Do nothing;
6) Urinate on the street;
7) Drink WhizzKD;
8) Ditto Frosty Jack;
9) Gratuitously intimidate anyone vulnerable;
10) Vandalise cars.

Top 10 most hated things right now....

1. Peppa Pig (it looks like a hairdryer)
2. Hello Kitty
3. Ben 10
4. Lego Star Wars
5. ****removed for personal reasons****
6. Being harassed every time I go shopping, either in the town centre by some irksome wench or in the shops by the 'assistants' who ask you to sign up to things, try to force you to try things on that you don't even want and talk in your face like your a child.
7. Smokers
8. Wasps (would be number 1, but it's winter so they've either froze or are asleep)
9. Religion
10. Katie 'Whoredan' Price

Top 10 worst TV shows right now

1. The Only Way Is Essex
2. Desperate Scousewives
3. That Chelsea one
4. The Geordie one
5. Anything with Katie 'Whoredan' Price
6. The Royal Bodyguard
7. Jeremy Kyle
8. This Morning
9. Lorraine
10. Cash In The Attic (too staged and corny)

God, good choices!

Almost all of them need destroying.

Quote: David Carmon @ January 30 2012, 8:14 PM GMT

Top 10 worst TV shows right now

1. The Only Way Is Essex
2. Desperate Scousewives
3. That Chelsea one
4. The Geordie one
5. Anything with Katie 'Whoredan' Price
6. The Royal Bodyguard
7. Jeremy Kyle
8. This Morning
9. Lorraine
10. Cash In The Attic (too staged and corny)

Just run David's choices through my C**t Finder App:

1 orange c**ts
2 thieving c**ts
3 cockney c**ts
4 thick c**ts
5 plastic c**t
6 old unfunny c**t
7 c**t
8 married c**ts
9 milf c**t
10 bent c**ts

Lorraine? MILF?

You need help !

And soon !

Sick

Quote: Will Cam @ January 30 2012, 8:24 PM GMT

Just run David's choices through my C**t Finder App:

1 orange c**ts
2 thieving c**ts
3 cockney c**ts
4 thick c**ts
5 plastic c**t
6 old unfunny c**t
7 c**t
8 married c**ts
9 milf c**t
10 bent c**ts

It's like you're reading my soul.

Quote: David Carmon @ January 30 2012, 9:19 PM GMT

It's like you're reading my soul.

It's a free service Dave

:P

Quote: Oldrocker @ January 30 2012, 9:17 PM GMT

Lorraine? MILF?

You need help !

And soon !

Sick

She's lovely Whistling nnocently '

Quote: Oldrocker @ January 30 2012, 9:17 PM GMT

Lorraine? MILF?

You need help !

And soon !

Sick

I quite like Lorraine too... :$

Have you seen her growler?

Quote: Rob H @ February 1 2012, 7:52 AM GMT

I quite like Lorraine too... :$

Like..the same person???

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Top 10 Things I would do if I were Prime Minister -

1. Half the tax on cigarettes, booze and petrol
2. Force taxpayer owned banks to lend money to small businesses
3. Create heavily policed ASBO estates and lump all the scum together
4. Offer free University education in areas that are needed
5. Massive tax breaks for manufacturing and new technology companies
6. Points based benefits system with maximum points for being born in the UK
7. Suspension of Foreign Aid (except for humanitarian emergencies)
8. A limit on both EEC and non-EEC immigration
9. Merge drug rehabilitation centres with prisons
10. Divert more GDP into UK Defence budget

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ February 1 2012, 11:31 PM GMT

Top 10 Things I would do if I were Prime Minister -

1. Half the tax on cigarettes, booze and petrol
2. Force taxpayer owned banks to lend money to small businesses
3. Create heavily policed ASBO estates and lump all the scum together
4. Offer free University education in areas that are needed
5. Massive tax breaks for manufacturing and new technology companies
6. Points based benefits system with maximum points for being born in the UK
7. Suspension of Foreign Aid (except for humanitarian emergencies)
8. A limit on both EEC and non-EEC immigration
9. Merge drug rehabilitation centres with prisons
10. Divert more GDP into UK Defence budget

Lovey Lovey Lovey Lovey Lovey Lovey Lovey Lovey Lovey Lovey

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ February 1 2012, 11:31 PM GMT

Top 10 Things I would do if I were Prime Minister -

1. Half the tax on cigarettes, booze and petrol
2. Force taxpayer owned banks to lend money to small businesses
3. Create heavily policed ASBO estates and lump all the scum together
4. Order that Zyclon B be made readily available to authorised users
5. Massive tax breaks for manufacturing and new technology companies
6. Points based benefits system with maximum points for being born in the UK
7. Suspension of Foreign Aid (except for humanitarian emergencies)
8. A limit on both EEC and non-EEC immigration
9. Merge drug rehabilitation centres with prisons
10. Divert more GDP into UK Defence budget

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