British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 305

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 23 2012, 5:54 PM GMT

Splodge are you referring to events in 1919, when Arsenal were promoted ahead of Tottenham? Because if you are, can I borrow your time machine please?

a) it's Arsenal were 'promoted'.

b) If you're a club who continually boasts about its illustrious history, then you can't complain when someone digs up the bad parts to use against you, and

c) Grrr. And other such noises.

Quote: Splodge @ January 23 2012, 5:48 PM GMT

Proper club my backside, Arsenal cheated and conned their way into top flight football at the expense of Tottenham, Chelsea, Barnsley and Wolves. Your feckless fans go on about how you've never been relegated, but you never should have been promoted in the first place. And because you bought your way (against the rules) to get to the top but were never punished (because you also bought people's silence) - you happened to be at the right place at the right time and benefited from it for decades, when in reality, you should have gone the same way as Clapham Rovers, but without their trophies. You're the least credible club going - everything you've 'achieved' should have an asterix next to it, informing everyone about your cheating ways.

Yeah, I'm sure that crossed my parent's minds when they had a child in North London in the eighties

Quote: don rushmore @ January 23 2012, 5:31 PM GMT

What do you mean by 'proper clubs'?

Okay, all the clubs are proper clubs, soothing noises

F**k me, I'm never being sportsman-like again

Yes Splodge, a 93 year old controversy is well worth getting upset about. No wait, allow me to retort - David Dein of Arsenal pretty much invented the Premier League, the very league you say we shouldn't be in.

Hmmm.

Quote: AJGO @ January 23 2012, 6:08 PM GMT

F**k me, I'm never being sportsman-like again

It's sports-person like, you sexist. ;)

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 23 2012, 6:11 PM GMT

It's sports-person like, you sexist. ;)

>_< :D

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/jan/23/harry-redknapp-court-tax-evasion

Watching the Cardiff City - Crystal Palace semi-final when my brother rang from Ireland. We know that Crystal Palace are called 'The Eagles' - thanks to a misspent youth listening to David 'Kid' Jenson, but we couldn't remember the nickname for Cardiff.

The closest we could come up with was 'F**king Welshie Leeds-Millwall Wannabe Sheep Shagging Thuggo C**ty Bollox Motherf**kers' - and that was the clean version.

Any Welsh-adonians want to tell me Cardiff City's nickname? I could look it up, but can't be arsed.

Bluebirds?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/16711526.stm

How about someone giving him a right smack?

Quote: Badge @ January 24 2012, 9:56 PM GMT

Bluebirds?

I was thinking Taffys, Leaks or Miners, but I could be wrong.

Quote: Oldrocker @ January 24 2012, 10:04 PM GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/16711526.stm

How about someone giving him a right smack?

But can anybody expain why he was charged and banned but Lescott was not?

Quote: Badge @ January 24 2012, 10:07 PM GMT

But can anybody expain why he was charged and banned but Lescott was not?

Lescott has such a weird face, it's difficult to tell if anyone has stamped on it recently.

Balotelli is the most entertaingly bonkers footballer at the moment, I hope he stays in English Football until his eventual 'death by misadventure' involving a circus cannon, three transgendered dwarves and the Arndale Centre.

Lescott looks like that due to a bad accident as a lad

But don't let that put you off!

Quote: lofthouse @ January 24 2012, 10:57 PM GMT

Lescott looks like that due to a bad accident as a lad

Then tell him to blow some of that £90,000 a week wage to sort it out. He looks like a Cardassian - the Star Trek people, not the hairy, fat arsed, camel shaggers with an H Lewis account.

And yes, that is very cruel, but I find it hard to find pity for any footballer...that doesn't play for Arsenal.

*wishes Lescott would come to Arsenal, we're used to disfigured footballers, look at Keown and Perry Groves*

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/jan/25/carlos-tevez-appeal-manchester-city-millions

F**kwit.

Quote: Oldrocker @ January 24 2012, 10:04 PM GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/16711526.stm

How about someone giving him a right smack?

I think Scott Parker should be charged for headbutting Balotelli's boot - and not once but twice.

Plus he plays for Tottingham.

Plus he was that flash McDonald's kid.

Quote: AJGO @ January 25 2012, 2:41 PM GMT

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/jan/25/carlos-tevez-appeal-manchester-city-millions

F**kwit.

And to think people critisized Fergie for not signing Tevez :D

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