Sketch Feedback

Hey everyone!

Just signed up here this afternoon. Looking forward to getting involved and networking with a few people.

I am at the beginning stages of trying to film some scenes from a comedy sketch show I have created and wondered if you could give me some honest feedback from the 2 short scenes I have filmed, editing and written below....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-koSRdVgkw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aT1AdeFyueo&context=C333e674ADOEgsToPDskLnIKS96KHlEMf7S9L3824q

I still have a lot more scenes that I feel are better, but due to budget reasons and getting people to help for nothing, it is all I could film at the moment, I hope to do some more scenes and start to get a following on YouTube, any feedback is more than welcome.

Thanks so much in advance.

Christian

It's not bad, certainly it's clear and slick and rehearsed.
And the actual jokes quite good.

But

1 Lose the intro it adds nothing and the sketch is quite self explanatory.
2 Making the sketch about an actual murder doesn't seem to work for me . It's to hard core and undermines the idea of making news about peoples boring lives.
3 You need a twist, as ghetto news is pretty much been done, not least by Ali G.

Thank you,

I also agree that the start is probably not needed. I will trim that.

Thank you, I think I found it difficult to find a good gag that relates to the Ghetto News, that he could be reporting on. I will go away and work on a twist.

Thanks for taking the time to review it for me. Much appreciated.