British Comedy Guide

Why do people believe in God(s)? Page 9

Quote: sootyj @ January 13 2012, 1:22 PM GMT

God maybe all knowing, but that doesn't deny he's going to be interested in what happens.

It does though, surely. If I was God and I had a dog, and I used my god-powers, I could see that tomorrow my dog was going to shit on the carpet, but what would I do? Well what COULD I do? Nothing, because it's going to happen anyway. I've already seen it happen, because I'm God. So no amount of me trying to train my dog not to do it will stop him shitting on the carpet tomorrow. It's a done deal. In fact I can see him shitting on the same carpet next week as well, the dirty little bastard.

But then hold on, I've got God-powers! If I wanted to, I could just click my fingers and give my dog the intelligence to realise it's wrong to shit on the carpet. But then, is it better for him to learn it's wrong all by himself? Well clearly not, because I've already seen that he's going to shit on the carpet. So should I punish him? Well no, because I CREATED the f**king dog. And the instant I made him, I KNEW he'd shit on my carpet because I'm all-knowing.

I tell you, this God business is rubbish. All these powers and there's still shit all over me carpet.
:(

Basically, if there was a God you'd have pretty mixed emotions on finding out. Happy because, you know, who wouldn't like a bit of Heaven; and pissed because he must surely be a prize arsehole for letting all that horrific stuff happen on his watch. The being in Heaven would probably quickly win out though, you'd let the other stuff slide. And maybe that's why he does it. What a dick.

Quote: Lee Henman @ January 13 2012, 1:34 PM GMT

It does though, surely. If I was God and I had a dog, and I used my god-powers, I could see that tomorrow my dog was going to shit on the carpet, but what would I do? Well what COULD I do? Nothing, because it's going to happen anyway. I've already seen it happen, because I'm God. So no amount of me trying to train my dog not to do it will stop him shitting on the carpet tomorrow. It's a done deal. In fact I can see him shitting on the same carpet next week as well, the dirty little bastard.

But then hold on, I've got God-powers! If I wanted to, I could just click my fingers and give my dog the intelligence to realise it's wrong to shit on the carpet. But then, is it better for him to learn it's wrong all by himself? Well clearly not, because I've already seen that he's going to shit on the carpet. So should I punish him? Well no, because I CREATED the f**king dog. And the instant I made him, I KNEW he'd shit on my carpet because I'm all-knowing.

I tell you, this God business is rubbish. All these powers and there's still shit all over me carpet.
:(

Ok you're applying very rigid standards.

You have a cat, you know it will die, you know it will poo in your shoes. You just don't know specifically when.

There was a great play on the Beeb which recreated the debate in Auschwitz when some Rabbi's and various others got together to discuss whether there was a God or not considering they were supposedly the chosen people and how could he let this happen to them. Their conclusion was that indeed there was a 'God' but he was a complete bastard!

Quote: Matthew Stott @ January 13 2012, 12:51 PM GMT

I used to like singing the Hymns in Primary school assembly. I wonder how many schools still do that.

In my first year at primary school we used to sing a prayer in class before we went home every afternoon. It was kind of comforting at the time. I can still remember it.

Quote: Lee Henman @ January 13 2012, 1:34 PM GMT

I could see that tomorrow my dog was going to shit on the carpet, but what would I do? Well what COULD I do? Nothing, because it's going to happen anyway.

Which makes the whole idea of him giving us free-will problematic.

He always seemed a bit needy to me, this God guy, with his psychopathic obsession with having millions of followers, like the very worst Twitter user.

That's weird, the site automatically capitalises the word God. I wonder if it does the same with Jesus...

It does! How about mohammed...

Thought not.

I suppose one way of putting it is imagine every day of your life was filmed.

Then when you died you got to watch that DVD.

You watching the DVD can know everything, but change nothing it's happened.
But you living it can change everything and know nothing,

In other words the aspects of God that can be all knowing and all changing can exist simultaneously in the same concept.

As I always say like Doc Manhattan in the Wathcmne (excpet they cheat with neutrios)

Quote: David Bussell @ January 13 2012, 2:31 PM GMT

He always seemed a bit needy to me, this God guy, with his psychopathic obsession with having millions of followers, like the very worst Twitter user.

That's weird, the site automatically capitalises the word god. I wonder if it does the same with Jesus...

It does! How about mohammed...

Thought not.

Fatwatastic!

Mohammed was the prophet Allah was the deity.

Tsk don't people know anything these days.

Quote: sootyj @ January 13 2012, 2:33 PM GMT

You watching the DVD can know everything, but change nothing it's happened.
But you living it can change everything and know nothing,

But you can't change anything, God already knows what's going to happen.

sootyj is proof that there is a God / no God - depending on your viewpoint.

Quote: Nogget @ January 13 2012, 2:36 PM GMT

But you can't change anything, God already knows what's going to happen.

But like I say that implys a completely linear approach to time.

Perhaps the universe is in existence exeunt as it is. But if you change yourself rather than hopelessly trying to change what is predetermined, the whole universe readjusts its self around you.

Person your birth, death and life are all actually happening simultaneously?

Quote: Matthew Stott @ January 13 2012, 1:38 PM GMT

be a prize arsehole for letting all that horrific stuff happen on his watch.

This is a ridiculously adolescent view of God. How do you know there isn't a reason for all the suffering in the world? How do you know if that didn't happen there would be far worse things happening? For all we know God's doing a bang up job, and without him we'd have hell on earth.

Quote: sootyj @ January 13 2012, 2:38 PM GMT

Perhaps

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Parsnips.

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