Marriage Page 2

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 12 2012, 6:12 PM GMT

Believe it or not, I don't use this kind of language when I go a courting. I'm normally very polite and quite charming in real life.

I've had relationships where the 'M' word came up but ran a mile, as I wasn't ready for that kind of committment at the time. Now that I've reached a certain age, it is expectant upon me to settle down.

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I think it's more important to find some who will love you, never cheat, worships your physical form whatever shape, and knows all your deepest flaws and loves you anyway. You don't need a ring for that.

Quote: zooo @ January 12 2012, 6:15 PM GMT

But doesn't it depend upon finding the right person, rather than it being the right time? If you get what I mean.
Otherwise you'd end up marrying whoever happens to be around at the time, in an 'oh, she'll do' way. Which doesn't exactly sound like the sort of thing that would last.

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You're still quite young zooo, so you don't have that crushing pressure from friends, family, colleagues, etc.

As for the 'oh, she'll do', I see that more and more amongst my contemporaries, settling for Miss Right Now for fear of being left behind.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop @ January 12 2012, 6:19 PM GMT

I think it's more important to find some who will love you, never cheat, worships your physical form whatever shape, and knows all your deepest flaws and loves you anyway. You don't need a ring for that.

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Oh and they must be able to fly. (Couldn't resist, my favourite Smack The Pony sketch)

It depends how far you can throw.

I don't understand why its still done, quite primitive.

Because Kim Kardashian needs the publicity.

I'd never wanted to get married at all. I was probably quite anti it more than anything to be honest. My girlfriend prior to my wife was the first woman it'd ever felt like the right thing to do (didn't propose thank f**k - she was a mental) and with my now wife asking just seemed an inevitable thing to do at that time. I mean that in a good way.

It's quite hard to describe, but somehow it does feel a bit different. Not sure why that'd be the case but I'm very glad I did get married. (Though this may very well be subject to change in forthcoming years!)

Quote: zooo @ January 12 2012, 6:15 PM GMT

But doesn't it depend upon finding the right person, rather than it being the right time? If you get what I mean.
Otherwise you'd end up marrying whoever happens to be around at the time, in an 'oh, she'll do' way. Which doesn't exactly sound like the sort of thing that would last.

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You've made me listen to Tim Minchin 'If I didn't have you'.

I too am married. To a women. We lived together for two years first, I would certainly recommend that (test the goods as it were.) I think if children are involved it does give everyone that feeling of additional security.(Although when you sit and think about it, there is no secuirity really.) I do wish we had spent less on the wedding though.

It's one of those things that just works out expensive I reckon. We did registry office, marquis in her parents's garden and a hog roast buffet (for about 100 people). I shudder to think of the cost. And the loan I'm still paying off for it.

Thanks for the honest replies Rob H and bigfella. Though I could have done without the 'well, we were together for a while and it seemed like the right thing to do' nihilistic vagueness of your answers.

I also would have accepted 'marriage is great! Mr. Nambogo paid me £10,000 and I was in and out of Hackney Town Hall in less then 20 minutes, plus I didn't even have to sleep with the ugly, goat herding gypo'.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 12 2012, 7:34 PM GMT

Thanks for the honest replies Rob H and bigfella. Though I could have done without the 'well, we were together for a while and it seemed like the right thing to do' nihilistic vagueness of your answers.

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Oh no! You misunderstand.

It was ALWAYS the plan to get married.

Thing is she was still married to someone else at that point.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 12 2012, 7:34 PM GMT

Though I could have done without the 'well, we were together for a while and it seemed like the right thing to do' nihilistic vagueness of your answers.

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Yes, far better to decide you want to get married, and then go out and find someone to marry.

It's getting out of it that's the problem!!!

I read somewhere that there is a yawning gap between the species. Women look for Mr Right. Men look for Miss Right Now. So ladies, you may be perfect for him. You might just have turned up a year or so before he was willing to commit.

However, I feel I ought to say something in favour of marriage as we've had twenty years of wedded bliss at Riley Towers. And I think that's an age thing as well. Back in the days when I were young, people did marry a lot younger. And that may be to do with the greater acceptance now of having children then getting married.

And I suppose it depends on what is important to you. What do you put the emphasis on? Is it the getting married? The cripplingly expensive party and fancy clothes in front of a bunch of people that you rarely see but have to invite because they are related to you. Or that it's the first stage in making a public commitment to another person and actually you couldn't care less whether you are wearing t shirt and jeans as long as you get to tell the world that this is the person that you're planning on spending the rest of your natural with. (If you're interested we did the whole shebang for under 2K including clothes but we got the hire of a very posh house for free because of connections and we asked people to get involved - making the cake, doing the flowers at the chapel, finding out who had a posh car and would they like to lend it. Very homegrown. Oh, and we kept the guest list small!)

Would I marry Spouse again? Yes. Even in the knowledge that they are capable of driving me insane but it's not every day and I know that I too have the capacity to most rational people to the point of being gibbering wrecks.

But every marriage is different. It's just realising that it's what happens after the wedding is the important bit rather than the party.

Never let family, friends or ANYONE pressure you into such a big life decision.
If and when you meet a special somebody, you will know if you want to marry or not.
Marriage doesn't change the day to day living with someone - but personally I think it's important. It sort of makes not only a personal statement to eachother but a public statement of committment like -hey world, we're together for the duration. Divorce is still rife though - so buyer beware!

Thanks again for all the replies. It's given me quite a lot to think about.