British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 628

Reminds me of this old joke

Mrs Smith your husband drowned in the whiskey vat
Did he suffer much?
I doubt it he got out for a piss twice.

Quote: sootyj @ January 11 2012, 12:23 PM GMT

Reminds me of this old joke

Mrs Smith your husband drowned in the whiskey vat
Did he suffer much?
I doubt it he got out for a piss twice.

Or the letter from Ireland - your Uncle Seamus fell in a whiskey vat. They tried to rescue him, but for three days, he bravely fought them off.

No greater way for a Scot to die.

Bloody BBC that I love has changed the website? why? don't like it.

Japanese shop sign; possibly unsuitable for people who don't like to see the word 'f**k'

http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/~bgzimmer/sale.jpg

:)

Thankyou Cyril

From David Cameron to James Cameron, the UK Film Council is going to finally shake up the system to make British films more commercially attractive.

I, for one, welcome these changes whole heartedly. Tired of so called 'worthy' films being churned out ad infinitum that nobody wants to watch.

No one is saying that dire, depressing films about foreign gays coming to London and dying of a heroin overdose in a squat shouldn't be made. Just that they shouldn't be given Lottery money if the audience is going to be three people.

I've already sent my new script 'IRA Robots vs Mutant Miner Sharks' to Ken Loach in the hopes of getting him some much needed funding.

The only thing the film industry can agree on is the William Goldman quote that 'Nobody Knows Anything.'
But perhaps Cameron is a mystic genius that can tell the industry which films will be commercially viable.

Quote: youngian @ January 11 2012, 6:58 PM GMT

The only thing the film industry can agree on is the William Goldman quote that 'Nobody Knows Anything.'
But perhaps Cameron is a mystic genius that can tell the industry which films will be commercially viable.

Here would be my list of 'no ways' -

Any film about the Miner's Strike
Any film about the IRA
Any film about gangsters
Any film based on an Austen Sisters novel
Any Bollywood style remake
Any film with more then one homosexual character
Any film about disillusioned Inner City Youth
Any Rom Com written by Richard Curtis
Any remakes of already classic British films
Any comedy film that isn't actually funny, no matter what 'star' off the telly is in it

They were talking on radio about a film that was made a few years ago that got funding because it ticked all the boxes.

Apparently it was about Lesbian Asians opening a curry shop in Glasgow.

Quote: Chappers @ January 11 2012, 9:00 PM GMT

Apparently it was about Lesbian Asians opening a curry shop in Glasgow.

If one of them wasn't called Mingita, I'd demand a refund.

'WOMAN CURES HERSELF OF CANCER'

Exciting new cancer treatment - start smoking 40 a day - cough for 15 minutes to honk your tumour down the drain.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 11 2012, 9:09 PM GMT

If one of them wasn't called Mingita, I'd demand a refund.

http://www.totalfilm.com/ninas-heavenly-delights

Interesting....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-16502535

Best not to comment though.

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