British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 801

Defo.
Hidden within the pages so it all gets read.
Failsafe.

To get the whole manuscript read you probably need a nude pic every ten pages or so. I understand that is how Hard Evidence got published (and indeed titled).

And they'll definitely find the cellulite charming because it invokes memories of care-free halcyon days of jelly at children's parties, yes?

Laughing out loud

People in the Chilterns protesting against the HS2 rail line. If it wasn't for the railway line, people wouldn't live in the Chilterns. In fact, you have your own train line called Chiltern Railways. Don't act like you've never seen a train before.

You're almost as bad as those mofos who buy a house near the airport and complain about the noise.

'Ooh, why can't we have bullet trains like they do in Japan or France? It's embarrassing that our rail network is so antiquated.'

'Ooh, what do we want a high speed rail line for? They should spend the money on something else.'

Angry

You'd soon be pissed off if it was in your back garden.

It's not as if they're getting any benefit from it either. They can't even use the train themselves.

Plus it's only saving 30 minutes off the journey. Yes, that's entirely worth all the hassle...

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 10 2012, 4:12 PM GMT

'Ooh, what do we want a high speed rail line for? They should spend the money on something else.'

Yes like much needed investment in increasing carrying capacity and running efficiency on existing commuter lines rather than a hugely expensive vanity project to shave a few minute off journey times for suits on business junkets and put public money into the pockets of Tory sponsor construction companies.

Quote: zooo @ January 10 2012, 4:18 PM GMT

You'd soon be pissed off if it was in your back garden.

It's not as if they're getting any benefit from it either. They can't even use the train themselves.

Plus it's only saving 30 minutes off the journey. Yes, that's entirely worth all the hassle...

My back garden is London, it changes every single day.

If the Chilterns are such an area of natural beauty, why do they let people build ugly houses on it and drive all over it in their Vauxhalls?

The high speed link will connect with other trains before eventually growing it's own network, reducing the journey times to Leeds and Manchester substantially.

Wait a second! The BBC moves it's headquarters to Manchester for no reason, now they need a high speed rail link to London, it all fits into place! Pirate

Quote: Timbo @ January 10 2012, 4:26 PM GMT

Yes like much needed investment in increasing carrying capacity and running efficiency on existing commuter lines rather than a hugely expensive vanity project to shave a few minute off journey times.

It's that kind of short sightedness that makes Britain great. Yes, upgrading your infrastructure, improving travel times and laying the foundation for a future network is pointless.

What we need is slightly longer platforms and more carriages, that will improve the railways - well for a couple of years at least. And then what?

Similar arguments were put forward regarding the M25.

It happens to be going right through the idyllic place where I grew up, in Bucks. Green, quiet, peaceful, away from all the towns, nowhere near any other train lines. (Literally about a mile or less from my house) You can see why I might be a tad pissed off and see the whole thing as pointless and hideous.

I actually used to have nightmares about this sort of thing happening when I was little. :( Only it was a big motorway, and it came from watching Hitchhikers Guide at a very young age.

Sad to see it coming true.

Quote: AJGO @ January 10 2012, 3:36 PM GMT

And they'll definitely find the cellulite charming because it invokes memories of care-free halcyon days of jelly at children's parties, yes?

you may find this helpful

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 10 2012, 4:32 PM GMT

My back garden is London, it changes every single day.

Exactly. These people chose not to live in London.

It's truly unnecessary. If it was shaving a couple of hours off travel time, maybe I could SLIGHTLY see the point. But it's 30 minutes. It's pathetic.

They've practically admitted it's just to provide some jobs and give British construction a lift. That can f**k off.

Quote: zooo @ January 10 2012, 4:34 PM GMT

Exactly. These people chose not to live in London.

So they could live in a permanent stasis and refuse all change in the world?

So they could build more houses and destroy more of the environment?

So they could keep their kids away from foreigns?

Again, so many people live in the Chilterns because of the rail line, before the trains, there was only a handful of farmers living there.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 10 2012, 4:32 PM GMT

What we need is slightly longer platforms and more carriages, that will improve the railways - well for a couple of years at least. And then what?

An increase in the uptake of virtual meetings using improved video conferencing technology reducing the need for inter-city business travel. You are like man arguing the case for a new canal at the Rainhill Trials.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 10 2012, 4:38 PM GMT

So they could live in a permanent stasis and refuse all change in the world?

So they could build more houses and destroy more of the environment?

So they could keep their kids away from foreigns?

Again, so many people live in the Chilterns because of the rail line, before the trains, there was only a handful of farmers living there.

So you want to turn the entire country into an industrial wasteland covered in factories and train tracks?
That sounds nice.

Personally I like the fact that we have both cities and countryside to choose from, but I guess that doesn't appeal to everyone.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 10 2012, 4:38 PM GMT

Again, so many people live in the Chilterns because of the rail line, before the trains, there was only a handful of farmers living there.

I'm not even talking about the Chilterns. That's not the only part of the country this is f**king up.

Quote: Timbo @ January 10 2012, 4:38 PM GMT

An increase in the uptake of virtual meetings using improved video conferencing technology reducing the need for inter-city business travel. You are like man arguing the case for a new canal at the Rainhill Trials.

Has video conferencing stopped the halt of traffic on our roads? Has email stopped people from sending packages through the post? Will an estimated increase in the UK population stop people from using trains?

Aside from trains, the only other option to get people moving around Britain quickly are planes. But every time a new runway is suggested, people go ape shit, so it has to be a high speed rail network.

Share this page