I don't have a life...

Im here to tell you all, because I want to become a comedy writer, about my life situation, and hope that you're all understanding

My names Adam, 23 years old, I live in Stockholm, have never had a girldfriend or sex.

I am unemployed, I am on wellfare and can honestly not bring myself to apply for a job.

Even though it is required to file for 30 jobs per month if im going to recieve subsidies for that month, I fake it each month.

This has made it comfortable for me, and pretty much don't do anything during the day.

My dream is to work in comedy, writing it or performing, but in the life situation Im in Im very ashamed.

I feel like Im never going to grow the testicles to get up on stage if I havent even had a girldfriend before that.

I want to know what you all think about this, please only reply if you have something positive to say, I am NOT trolling! Please!

Thank you, have a good day.

Grab life by the balls and do it. Jump in and get started.

Adam I do understand I have two sons that have had tough times, it is difficult but you have started here, well done!

Please tell us what comedy you like and the stuff you would like to do, write perform etc, if you pop something in the 'critique' here you will get feedback.

Welcome aboard, I am crap by the way!

Stop thinking about sex, friendship is MORE important.

You sound listless and depressed - not a good formula for comedy writing, or getting laid. Go out and get a job, any job; then get some friends, and maybe a girlfriend; then, when you have gained a life, some experience of the world, and hopefully a little self-respect, think again about comedy writing if that still interests you.

Write about what you know, much of the best comedy is born out of despair, especially in Scandanavia.

And try not to go on a killing spree.

Open up your mind, perhaps by going travelling.

I am sad today.

Even more than earlier.

I don't feel like doing anything. Is it okay to live on welfare?

I mean, its basically the worker that pays, and its like 600£ a month.

I was supposed to go to a job-center this morning, but instead called in sick, I wanted to sleep some more.

Its going to get dark, soon, the days end quickly this time of year, which makes me feel even lousier.

My plan's to wait out winter, until the summer comes and then, hopefully I'll have the life-force to move back in with my mother. She cooks really nice eggs, and leaves me alone. She understands my situation, she says whenever I feel like it, I can work at our uncles bank.

Why work at a bank? I want to think! I love thinking and imagining the future, having alot of money, driving nice cars and being the most popular standup comedian in the states.

It almost only makes me happy to think about that kind of stuff.

I gotta go now, I gotta spectate a game on COD: Black ops, important stuff. later

Are you sure you are not a troll? Because if you are not you are really in need of a slap.

Does Clive Bull still have a late night phone in?

Have you spoken to a Doctor or a Counsellor? Someone who can help you explore your feelings and get them into persepctive may help your situation. Could you do some voluntary work? Either through an agency or organisation or of your own accord? That would get you out into the world and mixing with people, boost your self esteem and give you some work experience. It will also look good on job applications. Prioritise and try and work your way through your list - be sensible and REALISTIC - having sex probably shouldn't be at the top!

Meanwhile, get writing. There is nothing to stop you. Write a description of the world outside your window, a past experience, a dream - anything to get you started.

To get from A-Z you need to do B-Y so perhaps dealing with the here and now will lead you to where you want to be, rather than thinking about what you would like or what you think you can't do or isn't going to happen. You don't know until you try.

Quote: Timbo @ January 9 2012, 11:09 AM GMT

Are you sure you are not a troll? Because if you are not you are really in need of a slap.

View original

A Dam Dude? I mean! His only mistake was to think trolls come from Sweden, not Norway. Or maybe the not getting a girlfriend in the land of hot crumpet that Sweden is, was the punchline. Anyway, very ammusing I thought.

Quote: Timbo @ January 9 2012, 11:09 AM GMT

Are you sure you are not a troll? Because if you are not you are really in need of a slap.

View original

And if you are you need a slap so, either way, looking at it both ways, taking all things into account, weighing one against the other and taking a holistic view, you need a slap.

If you are for real, what are you doing wasting money you don't have on rent? Move in with your mother post haste.

Quote: adam dude @ January 9 2012, 11:07 AM GMT

I was supposed to go to a job-center this morning, but instead called in sick, I wanted to sleep some more.

My plan's to wait out winter, until the summer comes and then, hopefully I'll have the life-force to move back in with my mother. She cooks really nice eggs, and leaves me alone. She understands my situation, she says whenever I feel like it, I can work at our uncles bank.

Why work at a bank? I want to think! I love thinking and imagining the future, having alot of money, driving nice cars and being the most popular standup comedian in the states.

It almost only makes me happy to think about that kind of stuff.

I gotta go now, I gotta spectate a game on COD: Black ops, important stuff. later

View original

Excellent, er, Dude.