My 2 cocks

Suitable idea for sitcomission?

BRAD IS SITTING IN HIS OFFICE HE HAS 80S BIG HAIR, A BIG SHOULDERED SUIT HE IS CRYING LOOKING AT A PHOTO OF HIS BROTHER FRANCIS. WHO IN THE PHOTO WOULD APPEAR TO BE RATHER GAY. THE PHOTO HAS A BLACK STRIPE ON IT.

BRADS WIFE SINDY WALKS IN HER HAIR IS EVEN BIGGER AS ARE HER SHOULDER PADS.

SINDY
Oh Brad don't cry. It's was God's choice to have that Scientologist suicide bomber blow your brother Franics and all the other sodomites into pudding.

BRAD
But I miss him, moma wanted us to be friends. And I, I didn't speak to Francis in 10 years.

SINDY
Oh Brad. Well he won't be lonely he's got Charles Darwin, and Kenny Everett and Elvis to keep him company. And they'll all be nice and warm burning in hell for all eternity.

BRAD
But I want him to be close, oh Francis.

SINDY
Well he's gone and there's none of him left!

SINDY WALKS OUT

BRAD
He's not all gone.

BRAD OPENS AN ICE BOX DRY ICE SMOKE FLOWS OUT BRAD PULLS OUT A CIGAR SIZED MEDICAL CONTAINER HE OPENS IT

BRAD
Sorry Sindy but me and Francis are going to be closer than 2 brothers ever were before!

SCENE2

BRAD AND SINDY ARE SITTING UP IN BED DUVET UPTO THEIR WAISTS SINDY IS HOLDING IT UP AND LOOKING UNDER.

THE TELLY IS ON AT THE END OF THE BED.

SINDY
Oh Brad I can't believe you had your brother's pee pee sewed on next to yours.

BRAD
I just missed him so.

SINDY
Well get rid of it, it's dead, it just just lies there.

VO FROM THE TELLY
And now Micheal Buble sings endless love to Justin Bieber.

SINDY RECOILING IN SHOCK
Oh my!

SCENE3

BRAD IS AT A URINAL PISSING INTO 2 SEPARATE URINALS AT THE SAME TIME.

A BIG LEATHER QUEEN WITH A MOUSTACHE WALKS UP BEHIND BRAD AND PINCHES HIS ARSE

BRAD WINCES AS ONE OF HIS PENISES PISSES IN HIS FACE THE OTHER KEEPS PEEING IN THE OTHER URINAL

VO
Coming this fall to CBS Sootyj presents my 2 cocks!

What?? but...

I like this. This is one of the funniest things I have read of yours. The peeing into 2 urinals would be a great visual but maybe just the streams of pee rather than the two thingys themselves.

Thanx, I kinda visualised this as only seeing 2 streams of wee

But as ever I messed up the directions.

Boh!

This is made of win, fried in gold and covered in awesome sauce!!!!

It's about time that diphallic terata made it's full comedy debut. Looking forward to the episode where he wakes up with his gay brother's cock in his arse.

Incest?

Renegade you disgust me.

Though I am warming to writing up the full version for the sitcom trials. I;m even thinking about a theme tune, to the tune of "Silver Spoons"

Quote: sootyj @ January 5 2012, 10:34 PM GMT

Incest?

Renegade you disgust me.

View original

Now that is an achievement.

Alright, how about an episode where he pulls a girl and he's shagging her from behind and then the other cock tries to shove itself up her rusty bullethole?

'Argh! Not me fudge tunnel, you're pushing the piles back in!'

'It's not me love, it's the cock of my dead gay brother! Once he's had a sniff of sweaty chuff, there's no stopping him!...Oooh, I can't stay mad at you.'

You see, it writes itself.

I was kinda thinking he gets to know his lost brother through developing a relationship with his dismembered penis.

I was thinking the gay cock could be played by Scott Bao and Brad by Greg evrigan from BJ and the Bear.

Actually I might rename the show BJs and Bears.

The two cocks are interesting, Sooty.
On a technical note - Sindy says 'It's lying there dead' - or something like that - which would contradict it's ability to pee.
That said, you could go a long way with 'two cocks'.
Maybe that's the answer - one for peeing - one for poking. nO, that's a waste. 2 for peeing on lads night out - 2 for poking at end of lads night out.
Could be good for threesoms but then you may need 2 brains to feel the full effect - hmmm - needs some thought. And have you considered the bisexual effect it would have. Not to be sniffed at. Sorry - rambling. It's late.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ January 5 2012, 11:34 PM GMT

You see, it writes itself.

View original

It does!

What about an episode where the gay cock becomes a self-hating homophobic Christian fundamentalist, wearing Jesus pants and trying to destroy all its gay conquests by giving them aids?

Or one where Brad meets the PM's wife, Samantha Cameron, and he thinks she's the perfect mate because she's got two c***s, one straight and one gay, but it turns out the gay one is actually just David?

Or what about a Sci Fi spin off where they try to go back in time to return a mystery penis to it's original owner - Cock to Who?

Sorry, sorry I only came on to say that I really like the sketch.
Great stuff!

Yeah. Made me smile.