A COLLECTION OF RELATIVES SIT IN A LAWYERS OFFICE IN 1980S DRESS, A WILL IS BEING READ. EVERYONE IS CRYING UNCONVINCINGLY
A SELF SATISFIED KITTEN IS SITTING ON A CUSHION ON THE DESK
A LAWYER IS READING A WILL
LAWYER
And to mr Catkins I leave my entire estate, all my chattels, properties and monies.
WIDOW
Why? why? why would he leave all his worldly posessions to a cat?
SON
A cat he never even knew.
MISTRESS
Harold. Harold how could you? I loved you. Unlike that cat.
SON
You didn't see even it. It was born the day you died.
COLUMBO KAPLOWSKY A COP IN SAFFRON ORANGE ROBES, A SHAVEN HEAD AND A DIRTY MAC.
WALKS IN
COLUMBO KAPLOWSKY
You're under arrest for insurance fraud. You'd better come quietly.
SON
Who? None of us get anything.
WIDOW
Just that damned, smug cat.
COLUMBO KAPLOWSKY SCOOPS THE CAT UP PUTS TINY CUFFS ON IT'S FRONT PAWS AND STICKS IT IN A LOCKED NYPD CAT CARRIER.
COLUMBO KAPLOWSKY
The old kill yourself, reincarnate as a cat and dodge the alimony scam.
CAT
Meow!
VO
New this season on CBS. Columbo Kaplowsky buddhist cop, fighting crime is his mantra!
