British Comedy Guide

21st centuary Terry and June, no Austin Princess

10:30pm INT House

JUNE
Please stop hitting me Terry

WHACK,WHACK,WHACK GOES THE SLIPPER

TERRY
You know what I'm like when I've had a drink June

JUNE
Pease stoping hitting me infront of the children Terry

WHACK,WHACK,WHACK GOES THE SLIPPER

TERRY
For crying out loud woman, there aren't any children, your ovaries don't work

ANOTHER FIGURE ENTERS THE ROOM

SIR DENNIS
(Loudly)
Medford.....Medford!

TERRY AND JUNE
Yes Sir Dennis?

SIR DENNIS
(Loudly)
I want you to get a house maid, preferably a Philipino or such like

JUNE
Why Sir Dennis? Is my house unclean?

SIR DENNIS
(Loudly)
No not at all Mrs Medford, your house is spotless, unlike your face.
No, a friend of mine has a VHS of some oriental type getting rogered by the great white hunter, turned me on no end I can tell you.

TERRY AND JUNE
Really Sir Dennis?

SIE DENNIS
Yes

Terry
But, erm how will I pay for her? I've just bought a Betamax and you pay me peanuts.

SIR DENNIS
(Not so loudly)
I didn't get my knighthood for nothing Reggie, I'll see you get a little extra in your pay packet.

JUNE
Shall I get the yellow pages?

TERRY
Who, who, whoooo the f**k's Reggie?

SIR DENNIS
(Loudly)
Medford!!

END

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