Scene: Dad is trimming his prize Begonias in the garden. He stands with pride and surveys his beautiful garden. Then his eye falls on a bare patch. He frowns.]
Enter wife and son. Son is crying.
Derek: Do you know I can't get f**k all to grow in that patch over there. I'll never win the Parish garden show while that eye sore exists.
Wife: Derek, please, our Nigel.
Derek: Oh, sorry, what's wrong lad?
Nigel: My.....my.... my....[Bursts into tears]
Wife: His hamsters died Derek.
Derek: Never mind lad [rubs his head] he had a good innings. We'll pop down to the pet store and get you another one eh?
Wife: How could you be so insensitive Derek. We need to bury Harry first!
Derek: Oh yes. Oh yes!!! [Eyes brighten up] I've just the spot. Right, well here's a couple of quid. How do ya fancy a slap up meal in McDonalds. You'd like that wouldn't you Nigel.
Nigel: I supposed [sniff] so.
Derek: You take him down and I'll sort out the you know what by the time you get back.
Wife: Thanks Derek [she pecks him on cheek.]
[They leave. Door heard slamming and car starting up. Derek rushes into house and grabs dead hamster. He quickly puts it into a liquidiser and blitzes it. He takes out a bag of sugar and tips it into the liquidizer. Blitzes again. He takes mixture and poors it into a glass jar. He disappears upstairs and returns with a shoe box. He puts jar in box and seals it with elastic bands.
CUT TO LATER
Nigel is seen placing box in hole in the ground. [They bow heads]
CUT TO FOLLOWING MORNING
Nigel: [From garden] Mum, Dad! Come out here quick
[They run out]
Wife: Bloody hell, that's amazing!
[In the bare patch there is now a beautiful show of Daffodils]
Derek: You can say that again. I thought you only got tulips from Hamster Jam.
Sorry Marion!