British Comedy Guide

When Harry met Stylee.

One day, a young man found himself with nothing to do ...

"Oh Jesus, I'm bored ..." he thought to himself ... "What shall I do now ?"

[haveawank]

[Yeah !!! Great idea !!]

He pulled the curtains so that nobody could see in ... he quickly got on the bed, and whipped his trousers and pants down ...

He was ready ...

In that well-practiced, almost traditional way, he grabbed his cock with his right hand, and with his left hand proceeded to massage the glands, deep in the base of his scrotum ...

"Now, who shall we have today ?" he thought to himself ...

... and into his 'mind's eye', as quick as you like, came an image of ...

... Lolo Ferrari ...

They were at a party - he couldn't take his eyes off her... and she was looking at him in a particularly endearing suckeeknobbylips sort of way...

They went and found a room ...

He grabbed her, and kissed her full on the mouth ... her boobs were enormous ... he threw her onto the bed and kneeled down between her open legs that were waving in the air ...

She expertly whipped out his todge and started chomping and sucking away for all she was worth ... their tongues met ... he ... he ... aah ... oooh ... oh ! aaaah !! aaaaaaaaa ! ugh ! ugh ! uuuugh ! uggggggggh !!!! aaaaaaaah!!!

[slowdown]

[wait]

[wait]

[slowdown]

He remained dead still for a moment ...

Okay...

His fingers started to massage and rub his cock and balls again...

... and into his 'mind's eye', as clear as clear can be, came an image of ...

Loads of money ...

Their eyes met, and it was instant ... they just had to have each other as soon as possible, it was obvious...

He lay on his back, with her shaved fanny just begging for it ... he dived right in, and started sucking and kissing, gently slobbing away with his tongue at her swollen clitoris ... she grabbed his balls and ... oooh ...., aaaaah ...aah ! aaaah ! ugh ! ugh ! ooooooh !!!!

[stop]

[slow down]

[wait]

[wait]

He remained dead still for a moment ...

Okay...

He slowly started to massage his balls again ...

... and into his 'mind's eye', as clear as day, came the image of...

Himself...

Ooh ...

He started to get really turned on..

...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh...

Oooooooooooooh !! Aaaaaaagh !! AaaaaAAAAAHH!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH !!

AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

AAAAUGH!

...aaaaaaaaah ...

... aaaaah ...

... uhh ...

... uh ...

.. hhh ...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

I have reported this inane drivel as a totally unacceptable sexual post without an ounce of comedy to be found.

echo the above. dreadful.

Trolling. Or just plain shit. haha

Perhaps it was anecdotal.

Hmmm.. okay: 1 kneejerk reaction, 3 bandwagoners..

Or...maybe they were being honest?

= 4 bandwagoners;

"..honest.." - interesting word.

Bless.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ December 17 2011, 4:15 PM GMT

Hmmm.. okay: 1 kneejerk reaction, 3 bandwagoners..

Stylee,

You posted this in critique so presumably wanted feedback. As this is a comedy site I looked for the comedic potential, but there was none at all. Offensive can be funny (subjectively), but your post was purely sexual and therefore unnecessary (and not funny). Can you explain what reaction you expected to get from the post?

'people don't find me funny, they must all be wrong'. Incredible.

Quote: Will Cam @ December 17 2011, 10:01 PM GMT

Offensive can be funny (subjectively)..

Comedy too.. it's all subjective opinion.. there're no "facts" anywhere..

Quote: Will Cam @ December 17 2011, 10:01 PM GMT

..but your post was purely sexual...

No, it wasn't. You think it was "dirt for dirt's sake"? Quite the opposite.

Quote: Will Cam @ December 17 2011, 10:01 PM GMT

Can you explain what reaction you expected to get from the post?

I didn't honestly expect any replies.. barely anyone posts here, but in hindsight, I suppose there are 4 possible reactions: 1)don't get/don't like; 2) don't get/like; 3)get/don't like; 4)get/like.

Quote: Vince Ives @ December 18 2011, 1:17 AM GMT

'people don't find me funny, they must all be wrong'. Incredible.

The common "Emperor's New Clothes" -type reaction.

..and btw: "..people.." You mean a handful of unique (male?) posters in an internet corner somewhere?

Yes.. a certain type of bloke hates it, especially when they get it.

You could try explaining where the 'funny' is supposed to be. Maybe people aren't 'getting' it, as you say.

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