Here's one I'm using tonight and slinging, maybe

Depends on reaction but;

I split up from my girlfriend at the weekend...
I know, its sad isnt it...
there was a bit of an age gap though...
Yeah, 20 years. Thats terrible isnt it...?

People have only been too quick to tell me how it wouldnt work, and you know what? they were right...

BUT, and I'm directing this to the fellas in the audience, if you've never had a blow job off woman who can remove all her own teeth, you really havent lived.

Hmmmm.

I'll let this thread know later whether I want to keep it or not haha.

Right. Gig finished. Im trying it out one more time...Actually, Im not. I might save it in case I ever do a working mans club, but then again, if smart people (no disrespect, Im from a family who's father sat on the committee of his local Cons club) don't get the gag (ie, its not 20 years younger, its 20 years older) then I think its best kept for another time.
Paul

It's not a bad idea doing the age gap joke.

But, the false teeth blow job gag is ancient (and usually includes a mention of parkinsons)
and the lady would be 40s-50s so not really false teeth territory

plus even implication paedo gags are a bit dated.

Its interesting you say that, and a little bit flattering coz Im actually 41, nearly 42. But if people assume me to be younger then it f**ks the joke up. So good point.
And if I had to explain the fact I was 41, well,...

Thanks

Well then you've got a good photo
(did I manage to say that without sounding like I was of the gay)

The other thing is if an audience don't like a joke enough times, maybe time to rehtink it...

Agree with Sooty about the false teeth stuff. Ditch that as it's old.

If you want to say that you're going with a woman who is 20 years older you could maybe say something like....

'I'm dating a woman who is 20 years older than me. After we make love I light up a cigarette and she starts to knit.'

Try and think of things older women get up to, how it contrasts with your life and try and make jokes from it.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ December 16 2011, 2:47 PM GMT

Agree with Sooty about the false teeth stuff. Ditch that as it's old.

If you want to say that you're going with a woman who is 20 years older you could maybe say something like....

'I'm dating a woman who is 20 years older than me. After we make love I light up a cigarette and she starts to knit.'

Try and think of things older women get up to, how it contrasts with your life and try and make jokes from it.

View original

"Try and think of things older women get up to"
I don't know why but I find this a totally beautiful phrase.

I instantly assumed you meant 20 years older... If other people do too, it takes all the substance away from the punchline.

'I split up with my gf the other day. she was 20 years older than me... my mates used to say "she could be your mum". "Point is, she's not though", I'd say... (To audience) She's my aunt.'

Only reason I'm giving a poor alternative is because I'd feel like an idiot if I just slagged off yours and left it. I know mine is no better!

It was just an idea. I'm glad you liked the phrase... Happy Christmas to all of the users of the BSG.

Hey guys.

Thanks for the constructive advice. I'll take it all on board. Im discovering that writing one-liners, as it were, is not my strong point, but I'm learning. Slowly haha

Cheers
Paul