Hi,
Posted this in the showcase area, but seeing as we'd like some feedback this is probably a more appropriate place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnZYVBgas5E&feature=channel_video_title
Cheers.
New sketch
thats rather good
The first couple of minutes, I wasn't too impressed, but that one moment really made up for it. ''Slut''. I really liked it.
Having read a book about how to write a sitcom, it suggested you should have 3-4 laughing points per page of script. I really don't agree with that. If you have 2 or even 3 minutes leading up to a very funny moment, then it's worth it; even if there's only 10-15 big laughs an episode.
Thanks guys!
The start is a little slow and you have a few distractions
1 no need to say why they're spending Christmas together
2 it makes more sense if he says "who are you?" rather than "what are you" to the turkey
I particularly like the part where he's tossing and turning in his sleep with flashes of the turkey before he gets up and rips open the plastic wrapping. Funny stuff.
Yeh I had a big smile when he bathes with the turkey and somehow you catch the inherent funniness of turkeys.
Cheers, nice to know people like it.
Funny ending.
Well delivered.
And you bought food and everything.
Have you ever seen the Woody Allen film, Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask?
Its very similar to the Gene Wilder/sheep story. Which is no bad thing.
Quote: Paulcuz @ December 8 2011, 10:45 PM GMTHave you ever seen the Woody Allen film, Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask?
Its very similar to the Gene Wilder/sheep story. Which is no bad thing.
I haven't, I'll check it out though. I enjoy almost everything beastial.