That's a great line.
works perfectly.
I bet it's been done elsewhere though.
Quote: Tim Walker @ November 24 2011, 10:27 PM GMT"I'm no racist, in fact some of my best shirts are black."
(Line I used to use in stand-up back in the 90s. Referenced the pre-WW2 British Union of Fascists. Got a laugh once in Covent Garden. I think. I was pissed at the time.)
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ November 24 2011, 10:30 PM GMTThat's a great line.
works perfectly.
I bet it's been done elsewhere though.
I peformed that line in 1994. So if you've heard any comedian use it since then, please write to them and demand the c**t send me money/luncheon vouchers/stolen credit card details/cocaine/their sister's used pants immediately!
No I mean't that they had used it before 1994 you plagiarising bastard.
EDIT
No sorry I meant that it was such a good line, that it's one of those that you can't quite belive hadn't been thought of already.
I don't mind the black shirt but the brown shorts are a tad embarassing
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ November 24 2011, 10:45 PM GMTNo I mean't that they had used it before 1994 you plagiarising bastard.
EDIT
No sorry I meant that it was such a good line, that it's one of those that you can't quite belive hadn't been thought of already.
To be fair, I'm sure at least a couple of people will have quite independently thought of the line at some point.
The thieving c**ts.
My dogs got no nose?
How does he smell?
ACHTUNG PANZER!
Is that joke racist?
A) My black dog, who I've named Nigger, has no nose.
B) How does he smell?
A) RACIST!!!
I am no racist - some of my best friends are black-face minstrels.
I'm not a racist, some of my best friends are...
though
A) My wife went to a Young Offenders Institution in Hounslow, a prison so rife with racism that it featured as the first test case in the Human Rights Act.
B) Feltham?
A) Not for many a year, mate. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
One of the best gags along these lines I've heard was from a fellow doctor-turned-stand-up (I've forgotten his name unfortunately) who years ago used to do...
"I'm no racist. As far as I'm concerned everybody's white."
This one isn't actually a joke. Starting my first job, my supervisor, explaining risks to look out for, informed me, "All Pakis are bent. And when I say that I am not being racist, because so are the Turks AND the Greeks, and as for the Jews..."
Black man:
You're a racist motherf**ker!
White man:
I'm not racist! I've got more black friends than you've got black relatives!
Quote: Timbo @ November 24 2011, 11:36 PM GMTThis one isn't actually a joke. Starting my first job, my supervisor, explaining risks to look out for, informed me, "All Pakis are bent. And when I say that I am not being racist, because so are the Turks AND the Greeks, and as for the Jews..."
You worked for the Samaritans?
Anyway, I'm not a racist; I don't see the attraction of driving round in circles at high speeds.