Poppy Will Eat Itself

A SKETCH FOR RADIO

F/X: A TELEPHONE RINGS

PADDY:
Hello, is that the English FA? This is Paddy O'MygodIcantbelieveit, the head of the Irish football association.

ADRIAN:
Yes, this is Adrian Bevington, what can I do for you?

PADDY:
As I'm sure you know, they've just made the draw for Euro 2012, and Ireland play England on the 12th of June.

ADRIAN:
Yes, we're looking forward to it.

PADDY:
Well the 12th is a momentous day in Irish history; it's when we remember Bloody Sunday.

ADRIAN:
Wasn't that in January?

PADDY:
Aye, it was January 30th, but that's soda bread day, so we had to move it.

ADRIAN:
OK.

PADDY:
We were hoping we could have a small emblem embroidered on to the players' shirts, to commemorate the day.

ADRIAN:
What would it be?

PADDY:
It's just a picture of an Englishman gunning down unarmed Irish civilians.

ADRIAN:
That sounds a bit controversial.

PADDY:
I understand completely. It doesn't have to be specific to the events of Bloody Sunday. How about a picture of a Republican being hung by the British while Bobby Sands looks on hungrily.

ADRIAN:
I'm sorry, no.

PADDY:
What would you allow then?

ADRIAN:
You can have a small flower.

PADDY:
How about a potato? And a few hundred armed Englishmen stealing them.

F/X: ADRIAN HANGS UP

Love this Gerry especially the Bobby Sands line. Send this to NR or RR. I would love to hear it performed.

Cheers, I will Will

How about a photograph on the English shirts of 11 people in Enniskillin being blown apart on Rememberance Day? At least it would have political balance. Not funny and so biased no-one would touch it. But let me know if someone does. On second thoughts don't.

I'm not sure about the bias Roscoff, I'm English. Apologies if you're offended though, that was not my intention.

Quote: Gerry McDonnell @ November 12 2011, 8:02 PM GMT

I'm not sure about the bias Roscoff, I'm English. Apologies if you're offended though, that was not my intention.

View original

I see where you're pointing at Gerry and believe me I'm nobody as far as 'critique' and I do see the 'special' attention this is getting as somewhat distracting from why the poppy is worn and so on. And I guess you're trying re-dress the balance but I guess It's a personal thing that draws too much on one sides atrocities and does nothing to flag up the other side. There's no rule that says you have to but for my taste if you were to have the two guys trying to score points on who committed the worst atrocities I think it might be more punchy. Or not. Will likes it so you must be doing something right.

Quote: roscoff @ November 12 2011, 8:16 PM GMT

I see where you're pointing at Gerry and believe me I'm nobody as far as 'critique' and I do see the 'special' attention this is getting as somewhat distracting from why the poppy is worn and so on. And I guess you're trying re-dress the balance but I guess It's a personal thing that draws too much on one sides atrocities and does nothing to flag up the other side. There's no rule that says you have to but for my taste if you were to have the two guys trying to score points on who committed the worst atrocities I think it might be more punchy. Or not. Will likes it so you must be doing something right.

View original

No worries Roscoff, I appreciate the feedback. I wish I hadn't sent it off now tbh, on reflection I'd have given it a re-write.

I think a sketch featuring an Irishman called Paddy O'MygodIcantbelieveit doesn't need to measure up to fatuous notions of political balance -be they Roscoff's or any other's.

Great sketch. Don't think you need to worry about bias as the individual character is obviously being daft- the imagery of trying to fit complex scenes on a badge definitely feels more the point of the humour to me

Love the title too!

Found this very funny, especially the line about Soda Bread Day. (There isn't a Soda Bread Day, is there?)

This is excelent.

Perfect and ready to go.

If I wrote it I'd have them asking to wear balaclavas, but that's me.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ November 12 2011, 8:40 PM GMT

fatuous notions of political balance -be they Roscoff's or any other's.

View original

What you see as fatuous I see as trying to be constructive. Which is more than can be said for your effort.

Hard to find a sketch with 'soda bread day' offensive If there's not one there should be.
I get what Roscoff is saying in that if you had the two trying to outdo each other on atrocities that would have been good too.
Liked it as is though.

Mind you Roscoff may have a point about it being over focussed; howz about an Argentine team wanting to wear Belgrano hats, a Kenyan boot print on the face, an Indian bullet holes up the shirt.

You can even mix the sports up.

Otherwise it maybe a little to blunt and indanger of engendering offence

Really liked this. The name 'Gerry' might make people think you had an axe to grind, but I just thought it was a nice little sketch.

I might have sucked Adrian in a bit more:

ADRIAN:
You can have a small flower.

PADDY:
How about a potato?

ADRIAN:
Meh... yes, why not.

PADDY:
... and a few hundred armed Englishmen stealing them.

F/X: ADRIAN HANGS UP

I also think sootyj's idea was really good too. Maybe it could be a runner with all the different factions in the world trying to get round FIFA's rules - which would add more balance if anyone felt offended.