I'm doing a screen writing course
here's my first piece of homework, is it alright?
nb it's an update on an ancient piece from my critique back catalogue
SCENE1
INT NIGHT CONT
A MODEST BEDROOM IN WHAT ONE WOULD ASSUME IS A MODEST SEMI.
JILL IS AN AVERAGE LOOKING WOMAN IN AN AVERAGE NIGHTY IN HER 40S, TONY IS A MOUSY FELLOW ALSO IN HIS 40S IN STRIPED PYJAMAS, DRESSING GOWN AND SLIPPERS
JILL IS APPARENTLY PREGNANT, WITH THE DUVET PULLED UP TO HER WAIST.
TONY
Goodnight sweetheart
JILL
Goodnight sweety.
JILL CLOSES HER EYES AND APPEARS TO SLEEP
SHE WOULD APPEAR TO BE SNORING LIGHTLY
TONY SITS BY HER SIDE ON THE BED HE WATCHES JILL INTENTLY FOR A MOMENT
TONY STICKS HIS HAND UNDER THE DUVET AND PULLS OUT A CUSHION AND IS ABOUT TO PUSH A BIGGER ONE IN IT'S PLACE.
JILL STOPS SNORING
TONY FREEZES
JILL SITS UP (WITHOUT A BABY BUMP)
JILL
I bloody knew it you faked this pregnancy!
TONY
No erm you faked the pregnancy, sticking cushions up your blouse you should be ashamed.
Jill
Why would I?
Tony
To keep your figure, you're so vain my mother warned me about women like you. And, and (TRIUMPHANT) too keep hold of me!
Jill (Sad more than angry).
Tony, please just tell me why you did it.
Tony
I just thought if you thought were pregnant you wouldn't leave me.
Jill
How long tony? How long has this been going on?
Tony
I don't know, I was foolish, I was scared. I need you Jill.
Jill
How long tony?
Tony
Since forever. As long as I've known you I guess.
Jill
We've been married for 15 years. We've had 3 kids.
Tony
About the kids...haven't you ever wandered why Julian, Edgar and Winifred are always playing at the end of the garden?
Jill
No why would I?
Tony
Why they're ALWAYS in the garden.
Jill
So what they're healthy out doorsy kids.......oh my god. Oh you didn't you wouldn't, you couldn't.... could you?
JILL GOES TO THE WINDOW PULLS OPEN THE CURTAIN (ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE ONLY) THERE ARE 3 CHILDREN CRUDELY PAINTED ON THE WINDOW, IN SUCH AWAY AS TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY'RE IN THE GARDEN
SHE RUBS ONE OF THE PAINTINGS.
Jill
You bastard they're painted on the window! Get out you liar! You know my dad did the same thing to my mum
Tony
I did it because I love you. But if that's how you feel. I'm going. And, and (NOW DEFIANT) I'm taking the cat! Mr whiskers come here.
WE SEE THE CAT IS DRAWN ON THE WALL.
Tony
fine stay you ingrate bloody cat.
TONY STORMS OUT.
JILL LOOKS AROUND NERVOUSLY AFTER A PAUSE
Jill
Oh thank God I thought he'd never go.
JILL LEANS AGAINST THE WALL BY THE WINDOW IN A SEXY POSE
Jill
You can come up from the end of the garden Sebastian.
SHE PULLS BACK THE OTHER CURTAIN TO REVEAL A CRUDE DRAWING OF A MUSCULAR HUNK ON THE WINDOW. DRAWN IN SUCH AWAY HE LOOKS LIKE HE IS IN THE GARDEN
SCENE 2 FURTHER DRAWN APART
INT DAY CONT
THE SAME MODEST BEDROOM, LITTLE HAS CHANGED. THE CURTAINS ARE DRAWN EXPOSING THE DRAWINGS OF SEBASTIAN AND THE CHILDREN. JILL GAZES MOURNFULLY AT SEBASTIANS'S DRAWING.
HER HAIR IS RESTYLED AND MAKE UP APPLIED, SHE LOOKS AS IF SHE IS MAKING HERSELF AS ATTRACTIVE AS POSSIBLE.
JILL
Oh Sebastian now that twerp Tony has gone we can finally go on that holiday to Toulouse we talked about. Now won't you please come up from the garden?
2 SOCIAL WORKERS LIN AND JEN WALK INTO HER BEDROOM JEN IS 50 SOMETHING AND SOBERLY DRESSED, LIN IS 20 SOMETHING STUDENTY WITH HER HAIR PULLED BACK SEVERELY
JEN
Mrs Ledglass we're with social services. The door was open we let ourselves in.
LIN
Jill we need to talk to you about your children.
JEN FIRES LIN A SEVERE ADMONISHING LOOK
Jill
My children why? I'm a good mother. I love my children.
Jen
Jill this maybe painful but your children are now aged between 8 and 14 and have never been to school.
Lin
You haven't even registered their births, never mind registered them with a GP. We don't even know if they've had any vaccinations.
Jill
Why would they need vaccinations or doctors? They're healthy outdoorsy kids always playing in the back of the garden. They've never had a sick day, why are you picking on us? Aren't there worse families out there?
Lin
Jill we've been keeping an eye on your garden for some time and we've never seen your children..
Jill
Oh that's because they're drawn on my bedroom window, obviously!
Jen
I see Jill so because they're drawn on the window they have less rights than non drawn children?
Jill
No I love them absolutely with all my heart.
Lin
And we can see from your window they're with your partner Sebastian. Jill how much time does Sebastian spend with you children?
Jill
When ever I look out the window they're together.
Lin
When did you and Sebastian last share a bed Mrs Ledglass?
JEN STARES AT LIN
Lin
I'm sorry it's a fair question Jill they told us that at university?
Jill
Not that it's any of your business, but, but I don't actually remember.
JILL SITS ON THE BED AND DROPS HER HEAD INTO HER HANDS AND LOOKS BEREFT. LIN LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE, JEN SITS NEXT TO JILL AND GENTLY HOLDS HER SHOULDERS
Jen
I'm sorry Jill you can see how this looks. Your kids aren't in school; they spend all their time with a stepfather with whom there seems to be no close relationship with yourself.
Jill
How can we be close? He's always in the garden!
Lin
With your kids, who we are taking into care.
Jill
No leave them be! No you can't do this to me!
LIN CLEANS THE PICTURES OFF OF THE WINDOW WITH SOME SPRAY AND A CLOTH SHE TAKES OUT OF HER HANDBAG
WE CAN SEE A MINI BUS ON THE DRIVE FROM THE WINDOW
ANOTHER SOCIAL WORKER IS DRAWING THE KIDS ON THE INSIDE OF THE WINDOW THEY ARE CRYING IN THIS DRAWING
SCENE 3
EXT DAY CONT
LIN JEN AND THE OTHER SOCIAL WORKER ARE DRIVING AWAY THE THIRD SOCIAL WORKER IS DRAWING THE KIDS WAVING GOODBYE.
Jen
It's always the hardest when the mothers choose the lover, I guess mother love isn't all it's cracked upto be. You learn that in this job.
Jen
Oh good look she's starting over we'll be back again next year.
WE SEE JILL PAINTING NEW KIDS IN HER WINDOW, THEY ARE MIXED RACE AND SHE IS ALSO PAINTING A BLACK GUY.
Lin
Shouldn't we just take her paints away?
Jen
Don't even think like that.
SCENE 4
INT DAY CONT
JILL IS IN HER BEDROOM HER HAIR AND CLOTHES ARE UNTIDY SHE LOOKS LIKE SOME ONE WHO IS NOT IN HER HAPPY PLACE, PERHAPS EVEN MAD. SHE IS SPLATTERED WITH PAINT.
SHE IS PAINTING SOMETHING ON THE LOWER PART OF THE WALL NEAR THE DOOR. SHE STEPS BACK PICKS UP A POT OF RED PAINT AND A BRUSH AND AGRESSIVELY FLICKS IT AT HER PAINTING
WE CAN NOW SEE SHE HAS PAINTED SEBASTIAN ON THE WALL AND THE UNNAMED BLACK BOYFRIEND FROM THE PREVIOUS SCENE.
THEY ARE SITTING ON THE FLOOR AND WOULD APPEAR TO BE DEAD, THE RED PAINT LOOKS LIKE BLOOD. SHE HAS DRAWN A KNIFE BY THEM.
FX PHONE RING FOLLOWED BY BEEP OF ANSWER PHONE
Jen
Jill please just pick up the phone. Jill please we can still work this out, Jill please. We're coming over, just don't do anything rash.
FX PHONE HANGS UP
JILL OPENS THE WINDOW
THERE ARE NO PICTURES DRAWN ON IT
WE SEE OUT OF THE WINDOW ON THE PATIO, PATIO FURNITURE ETC SHE HAS DRAWN ALL THE CHILDREN TO LOOK AS IF THEY'RE DEAD HAVING FALLEN FROM A GREAT HIGHT. IT'S AN ELABORATE MONTAGE AND MUST HAVE TAKEN SOME TIME.
JILL STANDS IN THE WINDOW, WE CAN SEE THE ROOM IS FILLED WITH STARTED PAINT POTS AND BRUSHES. SHE HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN PAINTING THIS EPIC SCENE
FX OOV FRONT DOOR OPENS
Tony OOV
Jill the social worker called me, Jill you're not going to do anything foolish are you? Jill I still love you, Jill I forgive you!
JILL CLIMBS ONTO THE LEDGE AND STANDS UP
Jill
Mummy loves you. We were always drawn together.
JILL JUMPS
TONY RUNS IN THE BEDROOM DOOR LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW
GASPS IN HORROR AND THEN COLLAPSES IN TEARS IN A CORNER.
GRAMS
ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER
VO
Too date the government refuses to keep statistics on how many children in the UK are actually drawn on windows. Nobody knows how many stories like this take place everyday in the UK.
