British Comedy Guide

Heyloww Page 2

Quote: Charley @ August 2 2011, 6:02 PM BST

multi colour discharge,

Brown babies are the cutest!

Nice to see you back Charlie, we've missed ya!

Quote: Jack Daniels @ August 5 2011, 1:01 AM BST

Aw, my sis is due in 9 weeks too...

So you know you're having a sister then. Congrats to your mum.

Laughing out loud

Quote: keewik @ August 5 2011, 11:41 PM BST

There's a hitman heading your way even as we write. The phrase 'ignorant man bastard' springs to mind.

Er.. The phrase 'the wink emoticon suggests I was maybe joking' springs to mind also.

Quote: Chappers @ August 5 2011, 11:49 PM BST

So you know you're having a sister then. Congrats to your mum.

No Chappers, what I meant was, that my sister is..... Hang On, Wait A Minute! Oh, I see what you did, you crafty sod you. I walked right into that, damn my fumbles with the English language. V. Nice work. ;)

Welcome home Charley :) *adopts a hugging stance*

Hello Charley.

Hope you can post more regularly when you've given birth!

All the breast.

:)

Just remembered this thread as I made it 4 days before my daughter was sliced out me guts.

Thank you all who posted. Much appreciated.
I am back for good now. My potty mouth is home.
For the sake of my daughter when I am lovingly cradling her in an oh so tight headlock, like now, I shall use the word "Hoohaa" instead of vagina. I would be strangely embarrased yet a tad proud if her first action is to prod her hoohaa and with her first words say Ive pissed in my vagina. Change me bitch"

It is odd having a girly. I am used to boys. My sons pissed in my face at every opportunity. With my curly girlie it is a downward trickle. Much less agressive and rather dainty. She shits and farts like a dirty old pensioner bastard though.

Anyway enough about her. She gets all the attention.

I have no feeling in my nipples. I tried breastfeeding but even my baby did'nt want my nips in her gob. Even after I washed them special.
I pumped like a bitch though to no avail. My milk probably tasted too much of booze, fags heroin, crack and coke. I jest. What kind of mother do you think I am. I gave up the cigs over a year ago.

Dishcharge or CM as it is called, well don't go there. I know you want to but really its like a waxed slide down there. My lips skid about all over the place. It is like a snotty rainbow & my thighs need a brolly to stop my bottom half from drowning. I had to buy that brolly from wwwdotidontwantoneofthosebutihavetoformygiantc**tdotcom.
On the plus side I could make my own wax work in a week.

Last change really is that I am still fat. I have a stone & a bit to lose in order to get back to my pre IVF weight of 9 stone 3. I wouldnt mind but I skipped the last 10 weeks of pregnancy and still gained 2 and a half stone.

So in a nutshell I am a sodden wet yet colourful, fall into my own hole on a daily basis, slime of a fat girl.

This is where I am supposed to say she is worth it.
She so is.
x

PS - Has your sis had her bub now Mr Jack Danny?

Chappers will be moist. :)

Hurray for Charley's grand return!

And for her unruly but still capable minge! \o/

Quote: Charley @ November 3 2011, 1:28 AM GMT

Just remembered this thread as I made it 4 days before my daughter was sliced out me guts.

Thank you all who posted. Much appreciated.
I am back for good now. My potty mouth is home.
For the sake of my daughter when I am lovingly cradling her in an oh so tight headlock, like now, I shall use the word "Hoohaa" instead of vagina. I would be strangely embarrased yet a tad proud if her first action is to prod her hoohaa and with her first words say Ive pissed in my vagina. Change me bitch"

It is odd having a girly. I am used to boys. My sons pissed in my face at every opportunity. With my curly girlie it is a downward trickle. Much less agressive and rather dainty. She shits and farts like a dirty old pensioner bastard though.

Anyway enough about her. She gets all the attention.

I have no feeling in my nipples. I tried breastfeeding but even my baby did'nt want my nips in her gob. Even after I washed them special.
I pumped like a bitch though to no avail. My milk probably tasted too much of booze, fags heroin, crack and coke. I jest. What kind of mother do you think I am. I gave up the cigs over a year ago.

Dishcharge or CM as it is called, well don't go there. I know you want to but really its like a waxed slide down there. My lips skid about all over the place. It is like a snotty rainbow & my thighs need a brolly to stop my bottom half from drowning. I had to buy that brolly from wwwdotidontwantoneofthosebutihavetoformygiantc**tdotcom.
On the plus side I could make my own wax work in a week.

Last change really is that I am still fat. I have a stone & a bit to lose in order to get back to my pre IVF weight of 9 stone 3. I wouldnt mind but I skipped the last 10 weeks of pregnancy and still gained 2 and a half stone.

So in a nutshell I am a sodden wet yet colourful, fall into my own hole on a daily basis, slime of a fat girl.

This is where I am supposed to say she is worth it.
She so is.
x

PS - Has your sis had her bub now Mr Jack Danny?

Aw. Hello Wave and lots of congrats :)

Charley - you're so colourful in the way you describe things.

Your daughter is gorgeous though!

Quote: Charley @ November 3 2011, 1:28 AM GMT

I am back for good now. My potty mouth is home.

Gerry f**king likes this.

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