Quote: Tim Fezziwigl @ October 29 2011, 9:25 PM BSTI work in a NUT House. I answer as a NUT! "Yes yes What did I win?" How Much?When can I come? Will you come to my Birthday party? On and On and sometimes I Cry. BOO HOO Nobody Loves ME> FUN STUFF!
Quote: Oldrocker @ October 29 2011, 9:06 PM BSTI'm . . puff puff . . having sex .. pant pant . . on the short strokes . . . . gasp gasp . . WTF do you want ?
Quick, someone tell Aaron that Sootyj has been hacking Oldrocker's account again!
I say! I love airplanes! Can I go? I got arrested on Airplanes! Then I blow a whistle! REAL loudly! it is FUN! I flirt too. I almost had LOVE! I'm married though! I can't!
Quote: Will Cam @ October 29 2011, 11:03 PM BST
Quick, someone tell Aaron that Sootyj has been hacking Oldrocker's account again!
Who is OldRocker! I like him! 
Sootj? I like him too!
Quote: Tim Fezziwigl @ October 30 2011, 12:14 AM BSTWho is OldRocker! I like him!
I'm getting out of here . . .
Nice to meet you! Me and Mrs.fezziwig are watching Exorcist! Yikes! eating brownies too!
Quote: Tim Fezziwigl @ October 30 2011, 12:14 AM BST
That's how he spells it
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ October 30 2011, 2:58 AM BSTThat's how he spells it
No it isn't.
Are you wearing panties...?
I get on. I say "I'm a DRUG addict! Will you sell me crack?" They stammer. I say "GIVE ME DRUGS!" then I calm down and say"I'm really sorry>I'm weak. I had an operation. They cut-off the wrong leg. I have phantom limb pain.I need CRACK!" They say they are sorry. It is FUN!
I just deflect pain the arse callers by telling them I'm dead.
It doesn't always work though, as my mum recognised my voice.
An Acme Thunderer is all you need folks.
I'm having a wank right now, we can continue if you want, but it might be a bit weird.
My usual response is, "Excuse me, who did you say you were with? Only I am registered with the Telephone Preference Service..." They tend to ring off quite quickly.
Though you could mess with their heads by telling them you registered with the Deceased Preference Service...
Quote: Vader @ November 14 2011, 6:25 PM GMTI'm having a wank right now, we can continue if you want, but it might be a bit weird.
Quote: Timbo @ November 19 2011, 10:33 AM GMTMy usual response is, "Excuse me, who did you say you were with? Only I am registered with the Telephone Preference Service..." They tend to ring off quite quickly.
Though you could mess with their heads by telling them you registered with the Deceased Preference Service...
Pah, that doesn't work; I tell them that and that they are performing an illegal act and it doesn't shut them up at all. Callers from Asian call centres apparently don't know what the Telephone Preference Service is.
"I'm genuinely sorry to disappoint you but there are no provisions in my Operating Proceures for any unplanned activies or expenditure.
However, I am authorised to accept anything that is completely free and has no expressed or implied obligation on my part to give anything whatsover in return including any personal details.
Anything you may voluntarily decide to provide me with at your expense will be considered for acceptance in due course.
For legal reasons please listen very carefully while I read the following statement of key facts to you.
This statement will take at least 30 minutes of your time and no interruptions are allowable.
Please signify your unqualified acceptance of my terms and conditions by either saying the first thing that comes into your head or by remaining silent.
Thank you.
Now, before commencing the statement of your new obligations, please be fully aware that I am not authorised to make any variations to the following broad statements and that you have now unequivocally accepted that you and your heirs jointly and severally with your employers and their heirs shall be legally bound by them henceforth in perpetuity.
Nobody is able to release anybody from the legal obligations that have just been freely entered into under any circumstances whatsoever.
Terms and conditions statement commnences.....NOW
Hello, are you still there, hello. Would you bloody believe it? The lousy bastard's hung up!"
I think I'll print that out and keep it by the phone.