Ben Muscle
Awesome that Body building mockumentary by vexed films has finally arrived. I will be sure to check out what all the fuss is about and post it on my twitter and facebook page.
Love you guys x
I liked the bit when it ended.
seriously guys, there's very little funny in this. I'm surprised I got past 10 minutes. It has clearly taken a long time to produce, so kudos for putting the hours and actually delivering content...you're obviously very proud of it. But it's very flabby, there aren't any comic structures in it or any interesting characters. I appreciate you're angling for a Gervais style office of Bodybuilding and stylistically you've done OK, but the writing & Ben Muscle's acting really let it down.
Unfortunately for me there is just nothing here of any comic value and I would love to offer more some more constructive feedback beyond "great concept" but words fail me, you've created a very pedestrian, unamusing 30 minutes here.
Ben Muscle here, and I am sicka tired of people thniking this is some kind of joke and/or acting! I take muscle building seriously. But it's weird when you say that coz rhere was times when I thought I was in the office, in my mind it was like "im in the Office.. office.. office.." and I was like "no ben muscle were not in an office, this is a documentary". Shame I didnt keep up that line of thniking "office - someone in the office that does phatom shits - phantom sh1&&3r" (love this by the way- https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/22444/) But you came up with it first! Only thing I would have done different is I would have had more man fall down to cater for more tastes, like him above^
Mockumentaries are like modern art - everyone thinks they can do it.
They appears unstructured and uncrafted so people approach them with a lack of structure and a lack of craft.
But just like modern artists, at some stage, learnt to draw a horse, so the would-be mockumentary maker needs to learn about writing and shooting good old-fashioned comedy.
A short sketch would be a start.
In all seriousness. You seem to expect fast paced comedy from what is clearly advertised as a Mockumentary. That means it has to have characters, not caricatures.
As such the jokes, I admit are not as in-your face as you would like. Like I said though, this IS NOT a sketch. this is a film.
How long did we spend put this together? All of 2 weeks.
Script? Mostly improvised.
I can appreciate that you didn't like or understand our jokes,that's fine. It's our sense of humour and we are not well experienced at portraying it. That's the point isn't it. To get better by doing. And being berated by people who love to insult every last word posted by new, next generation filmmakers. Isn't what this forum is about.
Or is it?
Furthermore. Jonny Barrett here seems to have had a change of heart. After sleeping on it, he decided to edited his post to seem less insulting and *slightly* more accepting. But Jonny has gone to far, and he had best watch his mouth.
Hey it isn't a short sketch. I know its confusing. what this is, is a 30 minute introduction to a character in the form of a mockumentary. There are no character based comedies that are funny right away. Even arrested development, which is probably the greatest comedy series of all time is 'flabby' on the first episode. We rely on our viewers having experience beyond trash talking on forums and masturbating over 30 seconds of flashing images, man fall down. cock not fanny comedy.
At no point did we aim for the office more pureownage which you oldtimers will not of heard of or understand. We aimed for warmth of personality and a subtle psychology which no doubt is beyond you.
you are sad and you have my sympathy but soon you will be gone.
Quote: Philip Erskine @ October 20 2011, 12:08 PM BSTLike I said though, this IS NOT a sketch. this is a film.
Understood.
My point is that a sketch is a micro-cosm of the kind of structure even the most unstructured seeming film needs to have.
The long-format freeform style of a mocumentary means that it's really easy to drift into incoherence, especially if you're just starting up.
But all the old 'rules' still apply
EVERY shot has to earn it's place in a film.
Go through 'Spinal Tap' and see if you can find a wasted shot.
The trouble is it looks easy.
It's why I maintain that mockumentaries are the wrong place to start - and it's why YouTube is littered with them.
This is not about pissing on the next generation of filmakers - it's about wishing they'd hone their craft and focus their talent.
And take a look around the critique sections of the site before you point the finger.
There's ahuge amount of constructive stuff, a deal of plain-speaking and the odd nutter.
But overall it's a pretty supportive community.
Quote: Lazzard @ October 20 2011, 12:32 PM BSTAnd take a look around the critique sections of the site before you point the finger.
There's ahuge amount of constructive stuff, a deal of plain-speaking and the odd nutter.But overall it's a pretty supportive community.
I'd like to remind a number of posters in this thread of the site rules.
The registering of multiple accounts is not permitted. Each individual may only have one account.
Not only is it patently obvious to most members, it is neither funny nor clever, and merely serves to put other people off from engaging with you.
Vexed films takes your abuse seriously and will use it constructively.
Comedyoflife, you appreciate wrong, Gervais never entered my mind. You would not love to offer more constructive feedback and words do not fail you as you have typed many and clearly relish it as this type of response seems to be an important past time of yours.
Lazzard, I have met many people and none have professed to be able to make a mockumentary. Perhaps we are not having the right conversations but I think maybe it would have come up at least once. I would have thought a good mockumentary would mirror a good documentary, structured and crafted. Of course this is slightly different to a documentary because a documentary has the aim of exposing or unveiling something real. A mockumentary on the other hand is based upon fictional characters. Sorry if those fictional characters did not fall down
Quote: Lazzard @ October 20 2011, 12:32 PM BSTUnderstood.
My point is that a sketch is a micro-cosm of the kind of structure even the most unstructured seeming film needs to have.
The long-format freeform style of a mocumentary means that it's really easy to drift into incoherence, especially if you're just starting up.
But all the old 'rules' still apply
EVERY shot has to earn it's place in a film.
Go through 'Spinal Tap' and see if you can find a wasted shot.The trouble is it looks easy.
It's why I maintain that mockumentaries are the wrong place to start - and it's why YouTube is littered with them.This is not about pissing on the next generation of filmakers - it's about wishing they'd hone their craft and focus their talent.
And take a look around the critique sections of the site before you point the finger.
There's ahuge amount of constructive stuff, a deal of plain-speaking and the odd nutter.But overall it's a pretty supportive community.
Better
We made a mockumentary, we posted it. We can't undo our choice to make a mockumentary so that is not exactly what I would call constructive criticism.
Also we plan on making tonnes more films and sketches already that will probably fit that under 5 minute format that you crave. Nothing you have said is practical and useful for our further projects, so don't try and pass yourself off as pragmatic.
When we watch it all we see is jokes but they are subtle. It not just a comedy either but a satire and trying to get across our perspective of what we consider to be an issue in bodybuilding. If you don't find it funny that is fine by us. We understand that different people like different things. You may have created some comedy or film yourself, or in fact anything creative, in which case you understand that you have no idea how something you enjoy will be received.
I know that Mark Pearson is a writer with the potential that anything he produces could be received poorly. So why on earth would people like you with all your experience decide to trash talk our film like children.
Fair do's.
Can I suggest, then, that you don't post your stuff with a request for comments in the future?
It'll make life a lot easier
Alright Barker, but what would you do with all your pent up criticism?
You may have noticed that our attitude towards you and your posts changed dramatically as you became more mature, as is human nature.
I can't believe I have to make the same point again but you offered nothing helpful. Like vexed films said:
Better.