NJ: McCartney's Memory

JUSTIN:A recent study has shown that the human brain is adept at processing good news about the future whilst seemingly rejecting negative information, which accounts for all those smug optimists. Speaking of which, we have newlywed Paul McCartney on the phone right now. Hello, Paul.

PAUL M:Hi, Justin.

JUSTINo Paul, third time lucky, eh?

PAUL M:Third time?

JUSTIN:Yes, you remember Linda McCartney and Heather Mills?

PAUL M:Heather Mills? Who's that?

JUSTIN:You don't remember your disastrous marriage to Heather Mills?

PAUL:Never heard of her.

JUSTIN: What about the acrimonious divorce?

PAUL M:Nope, don't remember that.

JUSTINurely, you remember having to pay her a £23.4m divorce settlement?

PAUL M:Really? Well, that explains where my spare change bottle went.

JUSTIN:Now, you must recall her getting sole custody of your daughter,
Beatrice?

PAUL:Hmmm, yeah! Actually, no I'm thinking of Stella.

JUSTINo in light of this being your third marriage and the fact more than
50% of marriages end in divorce what do you think your chances are this time?

PAULh, this will definitely last. I'm 100% certain. Sorry, I've got to go
and slice the wedding cake now; it's made of 60 bean burgers!

JUSTIN:Well, there you go; proof indeed that the brain really does reject
negative thoughts. Now if only I could forget that regretful night watching Anne Widdecombe on 'Strictly Come Dancing'.

END OF SKETCH.

Hi Corey

It's alright but there's no big laughs in it for me. It doesn't strike me as 'ace' and I think you need 'ace' for them to put it on.

Dan

Quote: Corey O'Graffor @ October 13 2011, 2:38 PM BST

JUSTINo Paul, third time lucky, eh?

PAUL M:Third time?

JUSTIN:Yes, you remember Linda McCartney and Heather Mills?

View original

I agree with Dan, but also the above section meant you lost me very quickly - everyone knows Mills was a disaster, but the only thing 'unlucky' about his marriage to Linda was she died horribly from cancer.