British Comedy Guide

Pitch and moan

Does anyone have any funny pitch stories?

I once gave a pitch at Miramax years back for a feature script and was cut off partway through a sentence by a producer who told me straight, "If it's any more complicated than Jennifer Lopez falling out of a tree, I'm not interested."

Lol I'd watch Jennifer Lopez fall out of a tree, hopefully then down a cliff. :P

I pitched to a room full of people, like 40 odd about a feature. There were the three main guys at the front who we're "Head Honcho's".
One said "You lost me half way through so the guy is dead but now he's a kid?" the other said "Have you ever thought about writing books" and the thrid sat there looking like I'd just done something unspeakable to her cat.

On plus side I had everyone laughing quite a lot. It was terrifing :P

I used to make video games for a living and back in the nineties I did a pitch for the sequel to a game called "Zool". The first game had been a big success, partly due to the zany lead character who, it had been pointed out by the games press, happened to look a lot like an ant.

The publisher didn't take kindly to the character from their flagship franchise being compared to an insect and had spent a lot of time and effort stressing that the character was definitely not an ant and was instead a "ninja from the Nth dimension".

Somehow this had passed me by and I proceeded to pitch to them a complex tale of how Zool the ant's ant universe was under threat and how his ant friends and the cute little ant larvae were under threat. I couldn't have imbued the pitch with any more ant-ness without dressing as an ant and throwing cups of ants around the room.

They patiently waited until I'd finished and said "You know Zool isn't an ant?"

Bo.

Haha! :D

I love all the Dragon's Den pitching. Some of them are terribly pitched! And the abruptness of "I'm out!" Is classic!

Quote: Bohannon @ January 10, 2008, 3:03 PM

I used to make video games for a living and back in the nineties I did a pitch for the sequel to a game called "Zool". The first game had been a big success, partly due to the zany lead character who, it had been pointed out by the games press, happened to look a lot like an ant.

The publisher didn't take kindly to the character from their flagship franchise being compared to an insect and had spent a lot of time and effort stressing that the character was definitely not an ant and was instead a "ninja from the Nth dimension".

Somehow this had passed me by and I proceeded to pitch to them a complex tale of how Zool the ant's ant universe was under threat and how his ant friends and the cute little ant larvae were under threat. I couldn't have imbued the pitch with any more ant-ness without dressing as an ant and throwing cups of ants around the room.

They patiently waited until I'd finished and said "You know Zool isn't an ant?"

Bo.

Ha - I used to love Zool! And until this second also thought he was an ant.

May I ask if you did any video games we might know of?

That'll probably depend on your knowledge of obscure platformers - Mazemania (on the ZX Spectrum! Remember that kids?), Harlequin, Zool 2 (from way back in early nineties), Aironauts (if you've heard of that I commend you on your geekaucity), a Dexter's Lab game - and slightly more recently NARC, State of Emergency 2 and Crackdown.

They're the ones I'm not embarassed to mention.

Bo.

oh my god you did Zool?!!!!!

Thats cool as f**k man.

who's idea was it to do the pet as a bonus level? that was fricking awesome.

Image

I remember Zool! That was out on the Amiga wasn't it?

Yeah man

Quote: Gavin @ January 10, 2008, 4:41 PM

oh my god you did Zool?!!!!!

Well, Zool2. The first one wasn't mine, I'm afraid.

Bo.

Zool2 was equally as cool though man! seriously impressed. What did you used to do on the videa games if you dont mind me asking? very intrested in it thats what I wanted to do when I was younger make and design games.

Like Bohannon i've also worked in the games industry. All film licenses, all all crap so don't ask!

However I was coding a stupid bmx game on the little gameboy handheld, and thought wouldn't this be excellent as "the guide" as in the actual electronic book from Hitchikers Guide. Everyone thought it was a great idea, and the boss made a pitch and we got a meeting set up with Douglas Adams software company. Being the leading gameboy developers in the UK at the time, and a big big publisher interested it looked good, and then douglas adams died and so did the game.

I think really someone should produce a good British answer to the Simpsons.

Quote: David Chapman @ January 10, 2008, 7:53 PM

I think really someone should produce a good British answer to the Simpsons.

They have, it's called The Newmans. The 4 guys and gals (BSG-ers btw) take a bow ... and a bottle of champers for me when it gets commissioned, eh?

Does anyone remember 'Crapston Villas'? It was a stop-motion animated sitcom, about the residents of a shitty house. I remember the first time I ever saw it, I was staying in a Bed and Breakfast in Shepherd's Bush, which looked exactly like the house in the show.

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