THE SITCOM TRIALS - October 21st 2011 Manchester Page 10

Quote: Kev F @ October 6 2011, 3:04 PM BST

I've made a note that they came without reviews (and also about other voting details, ie writers voting for their own scripts etc) so if there's a photo finish, those things can be taken into consideration. The more sets of votes we get, the less such things will signify.

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It's not just about a photo finish though Kev F it's about sending a message to someone that they have received a final minus score and demoralising them. If that has come about from people who have broken your rules it's not good old bean.

Boy, that last post on page 9 was absolutely the best I have ever seen. If I were KEV F or KEGALIA I would go right back there to have a look. Yes I would! If I were anyone else I wouldn't find it that interesting though.

Quote: evan rubivellian @ October 6 2011, 3:35 PM BST

Boy, that last post on page 9 was absolutely the best I have ever seen. If I were KEV F or KEGALIA I would go right back there to have a look. Yes I would! If I were anyone else I wouldn't find it that interesting though.

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Quote: Marc P @ October 6 2011, 3:28 PM BST

It's not just about a photo finish though Kev F it's about sending a message to someone that they have received a final minus score and demoralising them. If that has come about from people who have broken your rules it's not good old bean.

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Yup

Marc does raise a good point. Perhaps when Kev gives the final results he could just put all those with minus scores as "0". If someone really wanted to know the exact score, he or she could contact Kev direct.

Quote: Marc P @ October 6 2011, 3:28 PM BST

It's not just about a photo finish though Kev F it's about sending a message to someone that they have received a final minus score and demoralising them. If that has come about from people who have broken your rules it's not good old bean.

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Some people in this group seem to have an aversion to minus figures, for which I can only apologise. It'll probably be best for you to avoid watching this grisly and humiliating process any further.

An even larger number of people seem to be averse to voting. Well, don't say you haven't been asked.

Quote: evan rubivellian @ October 6 2011, 5:23 PM BST

Marc does raise a good point. Perhaps when Kev gives the final results he could just put all those with minus scores as "0". If someone really wanted to know the exact score, he or she could contact Kev direct.

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If anyone wants to know the exact scores they can simply look at the votes as they've come in, all of which have been posted in public. The totals are available to anyone who can be bothered to add them up. Or, horror of horrors, to add and subtract them. Yes, I said subtract. Whoooooooo!

Remember I'm no one so don't get hung up if I gave you a 'no''. I could of found a reason to at least give every script a 'maybe' if not a 'yes'. I didn't read any script and thought the author is wasting their time here.

Love Bites
Nice start and the characters were introduced well but then they spent the whole first scene talking about stuff that had already happened,. a few good jokes though. The 'blacked up' thing wouldn't really be feasible on the night. The writer does have something there though
VOTE - MAYBE

As Plain As Day
Some nice dialogue and the characters of Jack and Rankin worked well together, reminded me of 'the thin blue line'.
VOTE - YES

The Wednesday-Thursday Club
Didn't really feel this, a few good lines and a couple of well rounded characters but the overall idea just didn't grip me another episode with a more formed story could of done better . Sorry
VOTE - NO

Stepping Stone
Found the dialogue quite clunky and I missed a lot of the laughs but again this script could fulfill its potential with a few tweaks. Sorry.
VOTE - NO

Apocalyptic Cake Sale
A good start and a neat idea. a different take on the end of the world type sitcom, it did have a good cliffhanger but it seemed to run out of gas towards the end.
VOTE - MAYBE

A Fish Tale
Even though I learned a lot about keeping fish I just didn't find this funny enough in it's current form. Yet it was an enjoyable read and I liked the name of the shop assistant character.
VOTE - MAYBE

Footlights
This started well and I had high hopes for it but some of the funny lines were crow-barred in and it went off on a weird tangent with the heather mills stuff. A modern day young ones. Although it may struggle to work as a sitcom I could see the actors having fun with this on the night.
VOTE - MAYBE

Mad Axe-Man and Her
A lot of stage direction in this one, A good effort and with only two characters it didn't feel laboured, I wanted some more story as even though it was well written it did seem like a sketch. I'm sure a minor rewrite would improve this massively.
VOTE - YES

Tallent Spotters
Very short script I was just getting into it and it ended, a few funny lines but I feel a longer script would of done the writer more justice. Sorry
VOTE - NO

Job Club aka Main Text
My stomach lining went as tight as a snare drum when I read the line 'a down syndrome lad comes into the room'. the story didn't really move the characters along smoothly enough.
VOTE - NO

The Tragic Life of Roger Bulwark
This is mine and it seems to be the done thing to give your own script a yes,
VOTE - YES

Not at the Allotment
The neat dialogue and the funny one liners managed to cover the fact that the underlying story could be strengthened
VOTE - MAYBE

Animal Something
I liked this. I though that after reading the description it would be written in the characters accent, it wasn't which was good. The interchange between the characters had a good pace for most of the script but in did fall slightly flat in places. Also nice use of stepping outside the forth wall. .
VOTE - YES

Leaping Tiger.pdf
Interesting idea and it was written well with clever dialogue. Just felt more of a one off sketch than a sitcom.
VOTE - MAYBE

Doing it for the kids.doc
Even though this was written well and did have a sitcom feel it just didn't have enough laughs in it for me.
VOTE - MAYBE

Art for Art Sake.pdf
Again this had good dialogue and interaction between the characters. I would of liked to see a bit more action as it did in places become just people talking about what had already happened
VOTE - MAYBE

KissMeSonOfGod.doc
This started well and the first scene was really well put together, didn't quite keep up the momentum all the was through though.
VOTE - YES

Go Wild In The Country.doc
Some of the jokes seemed a bit obvious but to be fair this was written nearly a decade ago, there was a good flow to the dialogue though
VOTE - MAYBE

Quote: Kev F @ October 6 2011, 7:46 PM BST

Some people in this group seem to have an aversion to minus figures, for which I can only apologise. It'll probably be best for you to avoid watching this grisly and humiliating process any further.

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You truly are like the roman emperor Kev with his thumb up!

Quote: Marc P @ October 6 2011, 8:49 PM BST

You truly are like the roman emperor Kev with his thumb up!

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Surely other competitions where your scripts will be judged by just one person are like your Roman Emperors, aren't they? This system's democratic. You're ALL Roman Emperors here.

Me, I'm Spartacus.

Seems to be more chat than votes and not sure if you really want feedback from a punter who only writes websites and blogs and never tried my hand at a script BUT I really enjoyed reading the scripts and giggled lots (hence why I'm on the forum far past my normal bedtime). So here goes

A Fish Tale Good idea but not terribly funny - no

Animal Something Very funny. Specially Terry Nutkins - yes

Apocalyptic Cake Sale Can't quite see this as a sitcom - maybe

Art for Art Sake Not sure if it's supposed to be funny, or ironic - liked the sub-ouzo reference but think it needs a bit more work - yes

As Plain As Day Drugged pandas in oven gloves? Very silly ... Yes, yes, yes

Doing It For The Kids I liked it up to scene 3 - nothing revolutionary but nice characters and dialogue and a few funny moments. Not sure about the whole horror convention thing in scene 4 - seemed too convenient - but happy to be convinced. Yes.

Kiss Me Son Of God Judging by the other comments not voting on this one. Would be a yes though - made me giggle. No

Go Wild In The Country Judging by the other comments not voting on this one. Comments ditto Kiss me Son of God. No

Love Bites Sorry don't really get it. If these blokes hate one another so much why are they talking for so long? The whole scenario doesn't work for me, sorry. No.

Leaping Tiger Very funny. Love the herbs in the macaroons. Not sure how it could progress beyond this first script, though. Yes

Love Me Tender - Lovely dialogue, nice characters, very funny. Yes

Job Club A lot of characters to get your head around. Maybe

Not At The Allotment. Not sure in my experience that you can bequeath allotments but liked the characters and enjoyed this very much. Yes.

Taking of Peckham 123 Very funny made me giggle esp the whale costume stuck in the door - though not sure how you would actually make this work. Yes

Talent Spotters Quite liked this one - but not as much as some of the others Maybe

The Mad Axe-Man and Her Like the idea of loofah and honey - hate the rest. Too much foul language (even if that does make me sound like a prude). No.

The Tragic Life of Roger Bullwark Way too much going on and frankly a bit weird. No

Wednesday Thursday Club Nothing bad to say but just not my cup of tea. Maybe

Quote: beckholland @ October 7 2011, 12:30 AM BST

...not sure if you really want feedback from a punter who only writes websites and blogs and never tried my hand at a script

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Yours are very much the sort of votes we want. Anyone who can be objective is an ideal contributor to this process. Thanks.

To clarify, for my two rogue scripts, Kiss Me Son Of God* and Go Wild In The Country you've said that you don't want to vote on them, and then you've voted No. Which is it?

Remember no vote = 0, but a No vote = minus 1. And yes, I noticed this because I put the scripts up, but I mention it because it's relevant for any future votes that we discriminate between not voting and voting No.

Kev F
Producer
The Sitcom Trials

* The minus-haters may enjoy some Scahdenfreude from the fact that Beck's No vote puts Kiss Me Son Of God on a minus 1 score. It is one of only 7 scripts currently in the Negative Zone.

beckholland: Big thanks for taking the time to read and comment on all the scripts. To repeat what Kev said--an unbiased reader is golddust. Hope you stick around on here!

Quote: beckholland @ October 7 2011, 12:30 AM BST

Seems to be more chat than votes and not sure if you really want feedback from a punter who only writes websites and blogs and never tried my hand at a script BUT I really enjoyed reading the scripts and giggled lots (hence why I'm on the forum far past my normal bedtime). So here goes

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Everyone's an emperor these days...

Thanks for the feedback...

OK so just to clarify Kev's 2 scripts get no vote from me so not quite in the minus zone!

You are so busted!

Not really aimed at anyone, but beckholland's avatar reminded me that I do love Phineas and Ferb.

why can't you just have the voting sort of, out of ten points, the most points a script's awarded is the winner