Penguin Sketch

Penguin Sketch

Wife: Deary, is that you?

Husband: Yes.

Wife: Did you get the things I wanted from the shop?

Husband: Uhh no, but I did get this penguin.

Wife: Why?

Husband: Well, I couldn't find any bread or milk so I got this instead. I'm sure you'll find it a suitable replacement.

Wife: No I don't.

Husband: Why not?

Wife: Because it's a penguin.

Husband: So?

Wife: A penguin does not, has not, a never will have any relevance to bread or milk.

Husband: Oh, you're just being picky! You could make it like bread or milk if you wanted to.

Wife: How?

Husband: Well you could crush it down to the right size and shape of bread.

Wife: We can't do that! This is new carpet the blood would go everywhere.

Husband: Ugh! There really is no pleasing you is there?! I go to the shops which was...well...quite a walk. And then when I get back you're complaining that I got you a penguin instead of some bread or milk! Anyway we haven't heard what the penguin thinks of this!

Penguin: Warrrrrrrkkkkkkk!

Husband: Ah! See! He said it himself! He thinks he is a good-enough replacement!

Wife: Actually what I think you'll find is that he said he is not a good enough replacement and that you are rubbish at shopping!

Husband: Oh really! And how do you know that?!

Wife: I speak fluent Penguin.

Husband: Oh really!?? Well if that's how you feel I'm going to keep him for myself then! We'll have fun without you! Isn't that right penguin?

Penguin: Oh god! I'm a trained actor and here I am dressed in a f**king penguin suit for this stupid sketch! Look at what my life has become!

Husband: Exactly! Now come on!

I'm undecided on whether the penguin should be a real penguin or a guy dressed up as one.

Thought this was really funny. Not sure if I prefer it with or without 'actor'

Sorry - I don't really get it. Husband sent to get bread and milk - comes home with a penguin instead and insists it is equivalent? Not really finding the comic...

How about she has ordered on the internet and instead of the husband the character is the delivery man.

DM "Sorry, we had no milk, will you accept the substitute?"

Woman "What have you brought?"

DM "Er, this."

Woman (abrupt) "A penguin? You've brought a penguin."

DM "Yes. That's right. A penguin.It's got white bits and is, you know, sort of milk bottle shaped. We often swap a pint of milk for penguins."

W "I've never heard anything so ridiculous! And anyway I ordered a four pint bottle."

DM "Four pints. No worries, we can substitute with this..."

W "Another penguin?!"

DM "Yes, but this one's an Emperor!"

I agree with Big Jack. It would work much better if it was a delivery man. I think the humour would stem from the woman (representing the viewer/reader) having a perfectly normal reaction to receiving a penguin instead of her groceries and the delivery man finding it a perfectly reasonable replacement.

I don't think it works when its the husband maybe because the wife would know him and would probably know that he was capable of such behaviour and therefore not be shocked by it. When its the delivery man its a person she knows absolutely nothing about so he can be as crazy and outrageous as you wish to make him.

Agree with Otterfox.

The delivery guy idea is a good one, but I really liked it as an absurd domestic ineptitude scene; the ridiculousness captured that feeling when you might as well be arguing about a penguin.

Quote: AJGO @ October 5 2011, 12:02 PM BST

The delivery guy idea is a good one, but I really liked it as an absurd domestic ineptitude scene; the ridiculousness captured that feeling when you might as well be arguing about a penguin.

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I agree. I wasn't sure about the ending but I thought it was very pythonesque and certainly gave me a laugh.

Quote: keewik @ October 5 2011, 2:06 PM BST

I agree. I wasn't sure about the ending but I thought it was very pythonesque and certainly gave me a laugh.

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There wasn't meant to really be much of an ending, it would probably just roll off into a another scene.

Quote: Big Jack @ October 4 2011, 10:47 PM BST

Sorry - I don't really get it. Husband sent to get bread and milk - comes home with a penguin instead and insists it is equivalent? Not really finding the comic...

How about she has ordered on the internet and instead of the husband the character is the delivery man.

DM "Sorry, we had no milk, will you accept the substitute?"

Woman "What have you brought?"

DM "Er, this."

Woman (abrupt) "A penguin? You've brought a penguin."

DM "Yes. That's right. A penguin.It's got white bits and is, you know, sort of milk bottle shaped. We often swap a pint of milk for penguins."

W "I've never heard anything so ridiculous! And anyway I ordered a four pint bottle."

DM "Four pints. No worries, we can substitute with this..."

W "Another penguin?!"

DM "Yes, but this one's an Emperor!"

View original

I appreciate you commentating. I guess the joke was in the fact that a) that the shop would even sell penguins and b) that he is bemused to his wife's anger and is convinced it is a perfectly adequate replacement,(even when it's clearly not.) However the delivery man idea does sound alot better.

I really don't know, it's just really stupid and made me laugh.