THE SITCOM TRIALS - October 21st 2011 Manchester Page 7

Quote: RedZed333 @ October 3 2011, 4:26 PM BST

http://techpp.com/2010/02/21/10-ways-to-open-docx-files-word-documents/

This article may help those having problems opening docx files...

View original

Thanks RedZed. Using Google Docs I have been able to read the three docx scripts. Here are the missing votes:

A Fish Tale/The Redstones by Mad Matt Hay - MAYBE. The characters are all on a similar note and it's not immediately obviously funny, but I think there's some performability in this.

Animal Something by Graeme Connelly - YES. I think this is eminently performable. Whether it amounts to a sitcom we'll have to see.

Main Text ("Nav & Clive") by anonymous - MAYBE. Nice situation, nice characters. Not a great deal happens and it didn't make me laugh, but it holds itself together well.

Quote: Kev F @ October 3 2011, 8:22 AM BST

(By the way, to return to an earlier question, last season's entries included a previously performed Sitcom Trials script written by a previous Sitcom Trials producer, and I don't remember anyone complaining about it

View original

Can I just point out, as has been pointed out to me, that the above is not at all true. The episode of Singing The Blues written for the last Manchester Sitcom Trials was a completely original and new episode and hadn't been performed before.

Sorry to have given the wrong impression as a result of having a very poor memory of scripts I've read in the past.

Kev F

Got my votes in nice and early so no one can accuse me of sandbagging...

A Fish Tale: The first part seemed more like a sketch then it all got a bit tedious... No

Apocalyptic Cake: Sorry, I didn't get this at all and struggled to find the funny side in any of it... No

Animal Something: Sorry, found this all rather laborious until the very end... No

Art for Art Sake: A lot of clever and amusing dialogue, good ending... Yes

As Plain As Day: Sorry, never found this funny, a bit too verbose at time, multiple locations... No

Doing It For The Kids: Some good dialogue, batty characters and a imaginable location... Yes

Go Wild In The Country: Sorry, couldn't relate to this at all, multi locational too... No

Kiss Me Son Of God: Started off well with some cracking dialogue but faded badly thereafter... No

Love Bites: Went on a bit, didn't find it very amusing... No

Leaping Tiger: Some good exchanges here, can see this doing well... Yes

Main Text: Sorry, couldn't relate to this at all... No

Not At The Allotment: Sorry, never raised a titter for me.

Stepping Stone: Never got going for me, sorry... No

Taking Of Peckham 123: Might be the only 2 points I get... Yes

Talent Spotters: A bit weird, might just work... Maybe

The Mad Axe Man and Her: A bit over descriptive with actions but this could easily be played out for a few laughs, needs a cliffhanger... Maybe

The Tragic Life of Roger Bulwark: Sorry, never made me laugh... No

The Wednesday Thursday Club: Had a 'My Family' feel to it but with too many characters and locations... No

I'm confused. The Mad Axe Man (for example) features just two characters, one of whom we'll presumably never see again. How can we judge from this sample whether it could make a series?

And if it doesn't have series potential (i.e 6 eps) aren't we just picking the funniest sketch?

And if we're just picking the funniest sketch, why is it called The Sitcom Trials?

Quote: Andrea Waters @ October 3 2011, 10:33 PM BST

I'm confused. The Mad Axe Man (for example) features just two characters, one of whom we'll presumably never see again. How can we judge from this sample whether it could make a series?

And if it doesn't have series potential (i.e 6 eps) aren't we just picking the funniest sketch?

And if we're just picking the funniest sketch, why is it called The Sitcom Trials?

View original

It's just a pub based bit of fun Andrea. Bit like karaoke I guess. Not sure it is pretending to be anything more than that.

Quote: Marc P @ October 3 2011, 10:50 PM BST

It's just a pub based bit of fun Andrea. Bit like karaoke I guess. Not sure it is pretending to be anything more than that.

View original

Fair enough.

Quote: Andrea Waters @ October 3 2011, 10:54 PM BST

Fair enough.

View original

Quote: Andrea Waters @ October 3 2011, 10:33 PM BST

I'm confused. The Mad Axe Man (for example) features just two characters, one of whom we'll presumably never see again. How can we judge from this sample whether it could make a series?

And if it doesn't have series potential (i.e 6 eps) aren't we just picking the funniest sketch?

And if we're just picking the funniest sketch, why is it called The Sitcom Trials?

View original

The aim of the Sitcom Trials has always been to find and test potential sitcoms. If any of this writing has a feel of sitcom, as if it might entertain people on the live stage in the way that sitcom does, then that's what we're looking for. Currently The Sitcom Mission is running with far stricter guidelines, with a real concentrated eye on their development goals, so what say this season of the Trials takes it a little easier and just sees what happens? I've marked things down for being little more than sketches, but marked them up if they have some sitcom promise, be it the dialogue, the characters or the entire premise.

I thought, by the way, that Mad Axe Man had two characters who we could see more of, this current storyline notwithstanding. Vote how you see fit.

Quote: Marc P @ October 3 2011, 10:50 PM BST

It's just a pub based bit of fun Andrea. Bit like karaoke I guess. Not sure it is pretending to be anything more than that.

View original

Karaoke? Kara? Oke? Cheeky get. Ignore him.

Red: Why do you think having more than one location is a no-no? The rules said no filmed inserts and for the play to be stageable on one set, but didn't say that you could only have one location. One of the scripts you critted for having multilocations has already been staged as part of the Sitcom Trials! (Go Wild in the Country).

The brief reads:

"The sitcoms we are to test out in our regular pub theatre shows with an eye to them being  developed for TV must be 
PERFORMABLE LIVE (ie no filmed or location inserts)
&
ON ONE MINIMAL SET."

So that's what I was going on, I didn't think that script you mentioned was much cop anyway...

Turns out I could read them all, providing I did no work! Well done everyone, some interesting stuff knocking around

A Fish Tale- Thought the Oakleaf character was done well. Not sure how you'd stage it though, and some off-putting geographical references! Maybe

Animal Something- Liked their relationship but the scenario felt limited by these parameters. Maybe

Apocalyptic Cake Sale- Some nice dialogue but set-up didn't feel appropriate to this form and would have liked more background as didn't care about their situation. No

Art for Art Sake- Reads smoothly, but is based too much on things we don't see and haven't been told the background to. No

As Plain as Day- Good self-contained story that manages to develop characters in this short space. Yes

Doing it for the Kids- Nice pace but uses same type of joke several times without building on it, and end felt a little out of place. Maybe

Go Wild in the Country- Please see below. No

Kiss Me Son of God- Sorry Kev, but feel strongly that this comp should give a new writer or a new piece some valuable performance feedback. No

Leaping Tiger- Very engaging and characters strong from the start. Yes

Love Bites- Bleak and odd- I liked it! Yes

Main Text- Quite specific characters for a pre-set small troupe! Can see potential with a re-write to make the dialogue more specific to the characters, but not at the moment. No

Not at the Allotment- Need the points! Of course, I think it can be staged and acted appropriately for this comp, and has lots of room for development. Yes

Stepping Stone- Some good ideas but didn't flow at all well for me. No

Taking of Peckham 123- It seems to be lots of references put together, like a script made from old topical sketches. Perhaps better suited to a different form. No

Talent Spotters- Lots of good ideas that could be developed for a series but did read a bit like a calling card for a series rather than a self-contained piece. Maybe

The Mad Axe Man and Her- Good use of space while still fitting with comp guidelines. Characters developed well from the start. Yes

The Tragic Life of Roger Bulwark- Liked it. Interesting modern take on Christmas Carol-style themes. Could be a good series. Yes

The Wednesday Thursday Club- Nice energy but too many characters, props and settings. Sorry, but I felt like I could see some of the jokes coming from quite a way before; maybe because of trying to incorporate so many characters in such a short space. No

Ok,

Here are my comments on the entrants:-

A Fish Tale - YES - This is my script. I like it, many may not.

Animal Something - MAYBE - I loved the start, Nice opener, the entendres flowed well. Baillie, I wasn't sure if they should be male or female. I think that it would work better with Baillie as a female. It did tail off and I'm not sure if this was a sketch or a sitcom. Has potential though.

Apocalyptic Cafe - NO - Sorry, I didn't find it funny. The opening scene didn't work very well, I can see where the writer was going with the motivational speaker but I think it didn't work.. I saw one joke in the 1st two pages. Not my cup of tea I'm afraid. The cannabilsm thing had potential to work but needed to be more in your face. Nice touch at the end with the twin sister. I liked that.

Art for Art Sake - YES - Intellectual humour and its funny. I love Steve, he is no nonsense and very funny. I was giggling away at this script. Alot of good modern and topical humour with some strong characters. Nice script, very well written. Very nice setting for a sitcom.

As Plain as Day - MAYBE - How many times can you make jokes about panda semen. Some of the jokes were too descriptive and rather than laughing, I was feeling disgusted. The idea is good, nice potential for a sitcom. The conflict between the Chief Inspector and Jack could run for a good few episodes. I like the fact that Jack is terrible at being undercover. The ending was good, I enjoyed the reasons for the panda hunt.

Doing it for the Kids - YES - I really enjoyed the script, I could visualise Gemma with the tongs going into the sack and the disgusted look on her face. Nice script, well written, clever plot. Not sure about the end, it looks like Gemma is about to get sacked, I think she is the star character and I would like to see more from her.

Go Wild in the Country - YES - Nice script that flowed along. I liked Victoria as a character, she stood out. Jim and Richard were a bit samey. I liked the ending and the stream of jokes about the two dead friends. The corny one liners at the end of each act were a bit naff tbh, luckily the rest of the script was well written and provided a good steady stream of funnies.

Kiss Me Son of God - NO - Sorry, I never found this funny. I liked the characters and the interaction, but I didn't enjoy it. Too much pussy footing around. The Frank and Dick scene at the golf club didn't work for me. Sorry, not my cup of tea.

Love Bites - NO - Sorry, I didn't enjoy this. I got bored half way through, two blokes talking about their sad life wasn't funny and the scene dragged a bit. The scene with the two girls was shorter but unfortunately not any funnier. I didn't feel that I could connect with either Martin or Dennis and again a couple of the jokes were too descriptive and made me quesy rather than laugh.

Leaping Tiger - MAYBE - I like the idea of it. I like the Holy man and Leaping Tiger as characters, alot of this wasn't that funny. Ronnie Baxter was a good character also. I didn't like the ending or the direction Mrs Barlow took. Its definitely got potential for a series. The Buddhist Monk Acadamy of Footballing talent. I chuckled more at the idea that the jokes.

Main Text - MAYBE - Too many characters, I was starting to lose track of the various characters. You could have done this with Clive, two of the job seekers and the cleaner at the end. I liked the end scene. Nice and short and funny. It would need a rewrite but it has got some potential. Clive was getting repetitive with the line "Listen I'm just thinking of you, I don't want to set you up to fail!" Some of the jokes went over the PC boundary in my opinion.I did like it though and I liked some of the humour.

Not at the Allotment - NO - Its well written, Daphne and Edward are decent characters. I didn't find it funny though, there was a couple of nice moments but nothing inspiring. A couple of wasters living in a flat together has been done before. The Pizza Cutter scene was bizzarre. Sorry, not my cup of tea,

Stepping Stone - NO - I liked Charlotte, nice character. The other two I didn't like. Not all that funny either. Sorry but this wasn't really my cup of tea. I did like the part about them spilling the tea on the envelopes and drying them on the heater, not sure if spilled liquids is a good idea on stage though.

The Taking of Pelham 123 - MAYBE - Its funny, I couldn't engage with the characters though. Not sure where the guy is going with this as a sitcom. I liked the take on the riots though, nice idea.

Talent Spotters - NO - This looks and smells like a sketch. I don't see the potential for a sitcom here. I've no engagement with the characters. Its funny, the sitcom ideas are good, I love the Ambulance Chasers one.

The Mad Axeman and Her - NO - A couple of nice exchanges, I like the Angela character. The plot was weak. Needs to be a bit fiunnier also. I did like spectacle case bit. Not sure that the honey would work on stage. I'm not sure where the author would go with this for future shows.

The Tragic Life of Roger Bulwark - YES - Ok, this reminds me of Wilfred, but this is well written, funny and the characters are good. Zak is similar to Wilfred and Roger is similar to Ryan. It may be too close to Wilfred but its funny.

The Wednesday Thursday Club - No - Too many characters, it didn't flow for me. I didn't find it overly funny and the only character I liked was Emily. The Wednesday Thursday joke was repeated too often. Sorry, I didn't enjoy this one.

Spiggle: Remember that you can vote "YES" for your own script! You get two points for doing that, but nothing if you don't.

Cheers Evan. I've edited my post

Here are my thoughts and scores for the Sitcom Trials submissions:

A Fish Tale. The responsibilities of trying to do right by a daughter with her birthday and the welfare of the fish are well drawn as a conflict here. Good characters and I enjoyed the pet shop man for his verve for detail that conveniently added to the bill. But I found the exchanges in the first part tended to be a little laboured and slowed the piece down. (Maybe)

Animal Something A two hander that packed in many neat exchanges over the terror of a spider in the living room. This simple premise is well developed with good skill but the end seemed a little flat. (Maybe)

Apocalyptic Cafe A well crafted piece that endeavoured to explore something different (I'm not aware of too many apocalypse sitcoms) A tight script that kept the dialogue flowing and some tension toward the end. Close, but I think a (Maybe)

Art for Art Sake Classic sitcom premise where cash strapped organisations look for ways to overcome a problem. Loved the high-brow art being displayed in terms of something lewd. (Yes)

As Plain as Day A merry romp that seemed thrive on the hapless and the ambitious. Clear conflicts and uncertain resolutions seemed to add to the piece and there is most definitely a series opportunity in these characters. (Yes)

Doing it for the Kids Another classic sitcom scenario with characters who definitely pull their weight. (Yes)

Go Wild in the Country I thought this opened really well and was hooked with the U-bend line. Good dialogue throughout though the end seemed a little contrived. (Yes)

Kiss Me Son of God Liked the premise and thought this got off to a good start, but it seemed to drift a bit for me and didn't really make me laugh. (No)

Love Bites Sorry but this tended to be too locked in the past, which is a shame because the characters did have stories to tell and I would liked to have seen them explore their differences in a more forward directed situation. (No)

Leaping Tiger My contribution and I very much enjoyed writing it for the comp. Allow me to indulge myself, shamefully. (Yes)

Main Text I'm afraid this lost its edge by the number of characters, which is a shame because it does have real potential. A re-write and this could really be something. (No)

Not at the Allotment The only script with a proper/funny conclusion, imo. It did tend to wander a bit but I was hoping it would all tie together. And it did to a degree, would like to see this having a bit of a trim and edit. (Maybe)

Stepping Stone Good premise that didn't quite hit its potential. I kept thinking there was something around the corner that would really lift this but it seems to be just one idea short of its potential. (No)

The Taking of Peckham 123 There seemed to be a welcome air of anarchy here and where loose ends all seem to tie up satisfactorily at the end. Perhaps the storyline could benefit from a twist or two that might engage the viewer a little more. (Maybe)

Talent Spotters I sense that this may have been a bit rushed and there was an idea not fully explored. Nonetheless, I quite got into the script but found it ended very quickly, leaving me wanting more. Sorry (No)

The Mad Axeman and Her I am really impressed with this and even consider it to be a text-book example of character/situation comedy writing. The humour from her paranoia and his frustrated rants blend beautifully and was a joy to read. (Yes)

The Tragic Life of Roger Bulwark I'm still not to sure of Zak's stance here and the direction he really wants Roger to take. I did like the characters, though, and the storyline was more than decent. I genuinely felt the injustice Roger was facing when wrongly found with the laundry and liked the twist that the laundry represented. (Maybe)

The Wednesday Thursday Club There is definitely a sitcom in the making here and the situations and character development are very much in line with that. I do think it was overdone in parts and tended to be a bit laboured and repetitive - nothing and edit couldn't put right, though. (Maybe)

Hello all,

These are my honest thoughts. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

Love Me Tender: Not reviewed. Everyone else worked hard to get their entry in on time. NO.

A Fish Tale: Could have been better with some severe cutting, and more exploration of the funny possibilities of the situation. Also, looks like the writer didn't include the cliffhanger ending as it ends with Helen propositioning Oakleaf. NO.

Animal Something: Don't see how this is the making of a sitcom, but it could work well performed live. MAYBE.

Apocalyptic Cake Sale: Great start, but quickly drops into a holding pattern with not much in the way of plot. Still, I think the audience would love the opening if, as I suspect the writer intends, the actors are talking directly to them. But for God's sake man, it's "lose" not "loose". MAYBE.

Art for Art Sake (sic): Lots of typos, grammatical slips and lack of clear punctuation made it difficult to get into the dialogue. Characters and situation didn't grab me. NO.

As Plain as Day: This is my one so I'm giving it a YES.

Doing it for the Kids: Not funny enough, and the jokes felt stuck in rather than coming from the characters. NO.

Go Wild in the Country: Good dialogue, funny lines but let down a little by the "let's have someone really thick so we can dredge up the humour from that" syndrome. This would have got a "Yes" if it were a first-time entry. It's not, so NO.

Kiss Me Son of God: Best title, best dialogue and funniest characters. This is, in my opinion, the best of the entrants. But, as above. NO.

Love Bites. Too long, and not enough plot. NO.

Leaping Tiger: Whackiest idea here, some good lines and although I see difficulties making it into a sitcom, I think the writer could make a go of it. YES.

Main Text: Didn't like the down-syndrome joke. Too many characters to keep track of. The whole script needs editing and honing down. There is a good idea here, but it's just not being done justice. NO.

Not at the Allotment: Plot meanders too much without enough conflict or events to sustain interest. Some nice lines, but the pace needs to be picked up. NO.

Stepping Stone: Erratic punctuation made it difficult to get into the flow of the dialogue. I like the idea, but it feels like a first draft rather than the finished product. What happened at the end? I didn't get it.NO

Taking of Peckham 123: The characters do nothing but talk about things that happened offstage. NO.

Tallent Spotters (sic): Interesting idea, but could be better explored. I liked the real-life morphing into the fictional world, but the writer backed away from this as though he found it too difficult to work through. NO.

The Mad Axe-Man and Her: Interesting situation. Even though the dialogue didn't ring true for me, it could work performed live. MAYBE.

The Tragic Life of Roger Bulwark: I think I'll have to re-read this to fully get the plot, but the idea was original and there were lots of laughs so, YES. But if the writer gets "You're" and "your" mixed up one more time he or she is going to get slapped.

The Wednesday Thursday Club: The rules said max 4 characters, but Kev seemed alright with you having 6 so who am I to argue. However, the script feels too slow-the plot didn't kick in until page 9. It is a good idea, though, and there were some nice character touches and lines. MAYBE.

KEV: Someone's uploaded their votes to where the sitcom files are. Just so you know. It's a file called "Votes". Or maybe it's another late sitcom entry?