British Comedy Guide

Silent porn

A SCRATCHY FILM IS SHOWING ON A SCREEN IT SEEMS TO BE A 70S PORNO, SHAG CARPETS DAYGLO WALL PAPER ETC

A MAN MIME WITH A CHEST HAIR WIG AND MAGNUM MOUSTACHE WALKS ON SCREEN
A FEMALE MIME WALKS ON SHE HAS A BIG BLOND WIG AND GAZA STYLE FAKE BOOBYS

MALE MIMES BEING IN A BIG BOX

FEMALE
Oooh you're in a box.

MALE MIMES BEING IN A SMALL BOX

FEMALE
Aaah oohh you're in a small box.

MALE MIMES PULLING A HEAVY WEIGH

FEMALE
Ohhh! Pull that weight. Oh pull it, it's sooooo heavy isn't it!

SCENEN 2

OUTSIDE THE CINEMA MIMES IN DIRTY RAINCOATS ARE MIMING LYING ON THE GROUND BEING BEATEN

OTHER MIMES IN POLICE HELMETS STAND OVER THEM MIMING SMACKING THEM WITH TRUNCHEONS.

A CROWD OF FEMALE MIMES STAND WATCHING PUSHING PRAMS (SOME IMAGINARY) AND WAVING INMAGINARY PLACARD

Can't understand this one Sooty.

It's silent, yet there's talking. I'm not sure what exactly you're referencing which makes me think I'm missing something. But the whole escalating silent film sketch can sometimes be fun. Have another go at it.

What they both said.

Oh, thought it was dead simple.

Basically the most obsene thing for a mime would be a film where they actually said what they were doing. Sothat's what they'd show in mime porno in a world of mime.

And the depraved mime wankers that watched it would be ssubjected to an imaginary beating, before a group of concerned mime mums pushing imaginary babies in imaginary prams.

It's kinda obvious isn't it?

I really like the mime thing, trouble is when you have to write eg 'they lie on the ground miming being beaten' or whatever, it sounds too much like explaining the scene. If there was another way of putting it across? maybe

GROUP MIME - Being beaten on the ground.

Know what I'm getting at?

Quote: sootyj @ October 2 2011, 12:45 PM BST

GAZA STYLE FAKE BOOBYS

The famous Gaza strip.

Quote: David Bussell @ October 3 2011, 9:49 AM BST

The famous Gaza strip.

:D

Quote: sootyj @ October 3 2011, 6:10 AM BST

It's kinda obvious isn't it?

Nope! :D

I think you just need one of the mimes on the film to talk and the others to mime horror at the fact that she spoke.

And the outside scene needs something obvious to indicate that it is a protest against the obscene speaking mimer; the obvious way would be to have a real placard in the hands of the protesters saying say "BAN PORNO SPEECH"

From your description I think the idea got lost in translation. Nice idea though.

Oh well we fall to rise/

I love the concept of mime explaining porn. Maybe it could work better if instead of mime's it was the sign-language girl that shows up on late night TV. She could be doing a simplified sign language for the awful things they are saying in the porn. Guess that's a totally different sketch though.

Would quite like to see how you would write the direction for that :)

Badly

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