British Comedy Guide

The BCG Joke World Cup Page 2

Quote: EllieJP @ September 28 2011, 12:22 PM BST

Have I got time to vote?

Yes - I was going to say till midnight but let's say until 6.00 so we can do the quarter-finals tonight. :)

Quote: sootyj @ September 28 2011, 12:21 PM BST

And that's why you got kicked out of Spurs.

I wouldn't worry - based on my calculations I don't think you've got anything to worry about. :)

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it

MATCH 2
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it

MATCH 3
I could make a joke about about my goat but I don't want to offend the Nanny state...

MATCH 4
I could make a joke about my giraffe...if I stuck my neck out...

MATCH 5
I got a joke about a moose, it made for an interesting dessert option at the restaurant

MATCH 6
I could make a joke about my peacock...but I missed the bowl and peed all over the floor...
I tried to make a joke about a moose, but it always sinks

MATCH 7
I tried to make a joke about preserving food in vinegar down the pub, but I always end up pickled

MATCH 8
I made a joke about sugary cereal flakes, I got a frosty reception

After a couple of abandonments and no results here are the results from Round 1 of the BCG Joke World Cup...

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it (7)
I could make a joke about my chicken - you never know your cluck (2)

MATCH 2
I could make a joke about my horse. "Naaay!" I hear you cry (2)
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it (7)

MATCH 3
I could make a joke about about my goat but I don't want to offend the Nanny state (4)
I've got a joke about a poodle, it's got a good pedigree (5)

MATCH 4
I could make a joke about my giraffe...if I stuck my neck out (6)
I got told a joke about being a monkey, the guy was clearly out of his tree (3)

MATCH 5
I could make a joke about my elephant...I could file it with the others I keep in a trunk (2)
I got a joke about a moose, it made for an interesting dessert option at the restaurant (6)

MATCH 6
I could make a joke about my peacock...but I missed the bowl and peed all over the floor (6)
I tried to make a joke about a moose, but it always sinks (2)

MATCH 7
I tried to make a joke about preserving food in vinegar down the pub, but I always end up pickled (2)
I tried to make a joke about crockery but I got mugged (7)

MATCH 8
I made a joke about sugary cereal flakes, I got a frosty reception (8)
I tried to make a joke about a traction engine but I ran out of steam (1)

---

I hereby declare the following jokes eliminated with authors now named and shamed.

I could make a joke about my chicken - you never know your cluck (Tuumble)
I could make a joke about my horse. "Naaay!" I hear you cry (Tuumble)
I could make a joke about about my goat but I don't want to offend the Nanny state (Tuumble)
I got told a joke about being a monkey, the guy was clearly out of his tree (Sooty)
I could make a joke about my elephant...I could file it with the others I keep in a trunk (Tuumble)
I tried to make a joke about a moose, but it always sinks (Sooty)
I tried to make a joke about preserving food in vinegar down the pub, but I always end up pickled (Sooty)
I tried to make a joke about a traction engine but I ran out of steam (Tuumble)

---

I shall ask an unsuspecting victim to jumble the remaining jokes into a draw and will post the quarter-final matches shortly.

Get on with it!
This isn't a world cup anyway.
It's like a Champions league with only two nations
:D :P

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 28 2011, 7:31 PM BST

Get on with it!
This isn't a world cup anyway.
It's like a Champions league with only two nations
:D :P

Sounds more like the World Series.

PS - I didn't get the Moose one at 6.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 28 2011, 7:31 PM BST

Get on with it!
This isn't a world cup anyway.
It's like a Champions league with only two nations
:D :P

Blimey, haven't you ever watched a World Cup draw? It's slower than the Eurovision results!

Unless she abstains zooo is playing the FIFA role - please be patient. :D

Quote: Chappers @ September 28 2011, 7:36 PM BST

Sounds more like the World Series.

PS - I didn't get the Moose one at 6.

Kitchen mousse as in sink cleaner...I think.

There are more than a couple that were ill-conceived on my part and as I played myself in one match, there is more than hint of corruption going on.

----

THE BCG JOKE WORLD CUP Quarter-Final Draw (Thank you Sepp zooo)

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it
I could make a joke about my peacock...but I missed the bowl and peed all over the floor

MATCH 2
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it
I got a joke about a moose, it made for an interesting dessert option at the restaurant

MATCH 3
I've got a joke about a poodle, it's got a good pedigree
I made a joke about sugary cereal flakes, I got a frosty reception

MATCH 4
I could make a joke about my giraffe...if I stuck my neck out
I tried to make a joke about crockery but I got mugged

Quote: Tuumble @ September 28 2011, 7:42 PM BST

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it

MATCH 2
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it

MATCH 3
I've got a joke about a poodle, it's got a good pedigree

MATCH 4
I could make a joke about my giraffe...if I stuck my neck out

Quote: Tuumble @ September 28 2011, 7:42 PM BST

THE BCG JOKE WORLD CUP Quarter-Final Draw (Thank you Sepp zooo)

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it

MATCH 2
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it

MATCH 3
I made a joke about sugary cereal flakes, I got a frosty reception

MATCH 4
I could make a joke about my giraffe...if I stuck my neck out

Quote: Tuumble @ September 28 2011, 7:42 PM BST

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it

MATCH 2
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it

MATCH 3
I've got a joke about a poodle, it's got a good pedigree

MATCH 4
I could make a joke about my giraffe...if I stuck my neck out

Quote: Tuumble @ September 28 2011, 7:42 PM BST

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it

MATCH 2
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it

MATCH 3
I made a joke about sugary cereal flakes, I got a frosty reception

MATCH 4
I could make a joke about my giraffe...if I stuck my neck out

Match 3 is the only one that looks like it might go to Extra time

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 28 2011, 9:56 PM BST

Match 3 is the only one that looks like it might go to Extra time

Do we have punchline technology?

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it

MATCH 2
I was going to make a joke about rounding up cows, but you heard it

MATCH 3
I made a joke about sugary cereal flakes, I got a frosty reception

MATCH 4
I tried to make a joke about crockery but I got mugged
 
Born to Pun

Quote: Tuumble @ September 28 2011, 7:42 PM BST

MATCH 1
I was going to make a joke about my cow, but people think I milk it

MATCH 2

I got a joke about a moose, it made for an interesting dessert option at the restaurant

MATCH 3

I made a joke about sugary cereal flakes, I got a frosty reception

MATCH 4

I tried to make a joke about crockery but I got mugged

Quote: Nil Putters @ September 28 2011, 10:00 PM BST

Do we have punchline technology?

Laughing out loud
You can play the winner

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