NJ: Basically stinks.

JUSTIN

Banks want us to pay for the privilege of them taking our money and blowing it on ridiculous bets. Bit like my girlfriend with my credit card and Sun Bingo. Except at least I get an apology shag.

BANK MANAGER TALKING TO MS JONES
MS JONES I want to have a word with you about my basic bank account.

BANK MANAGER So you want to upgrade it to one of our proper bank accounts like a normal person? Not an account for some peasant trying to withdraw turnips from the magic machine in the wall?

MS JONES No, I only got a basic account because you wouldn't give me a normal account. You're charging me for making cash withdrawals and setting up direct debits.

BANK MANAGER Not to mention looking at me funny, breathing my oxygen.

MS JONES I beg your pardon!

BANK MANAGER Sorry those starts next week. Basically most customer got our normal bank accounts so that we'd; pay them interest, have an over draft, get a mortgage. But now we don't do those things anymore.

MS JONES So because no customers are getting those things anymore. You have to make basic accounts rubbish so they can think at least I haven't got one of those accounts?

BANK MANAGER Precisely! Now would you mind wearing these giant comedy clown shoes when entering the bank and ringing this bell.

MS JONES You can't be serious I'm not ringing a bell.

BANK MANAGER

Whilst chanting "poor credit rating, unclean, unclean!"

MS JONES You know what I'd like to draw all my money out of my express don't take the piss account.

BANK MANAGER
We don't have one of those.

FX SOUND OF GUN BEING READIED

MS JONES You do now.

BANK MANAGER Would you like all the money in a big bin liner whilst I lie on the floor and pee my pants?

MS JONES That'll do nicely.

BANK MANAGER You don't work for

HBOS by any chance?

Derivative...

Dan

Derivative Dan?

Is that the Beanos new character, who's a cowboy that eat's sheep pasties with horns sticking outside the sides?

NOW REJECTED

Hi sooty

I think it's too talky and you should base it around this bit:

Quote: sootyj @ September 25 2011, 9:39 AM BST

BANK MANAGER Precisely! Now would you mind wearing these giant comedy clown shoes when entering the bank and ringing this bell.

MS JONES You can't be serious I'm not ringing a bell.

BANK MANAGER
Whilst chanting "poor credit rating, unclean, unclean!"

View original

as it's inspired. Though you should have them actually walking in in giant comedy clown shoes, ringing a bell shouting that, as it would work much better. And your sketch would stand out rather than being another 'two people chatting' one.

Dan

Thanks, you sure?

Wouldn't that lack a twist?

I mean build a sketch around that, rather than just that be the sketch.

Twist could be the bank manager laughing them off, and then driving off in his clown car that falls apart.

Or something better...

Dan