sootyj
Thursday 22nd September 2011 8:51am
51,287 posts
1There maybe an upset over scruffy tramp Gordon Roberts being on track to be an Olympic torch bearer. Even though a Facebook campaign has been backed by 18,000 people supporting him.
Being affiliated with this scruffy mess may seriously damage my reputation. As well as my ability to ask for spare change for a cup of tea . Said Gordon in a recent statement.
2 I heard that those eight Amish men who were jailed in Kentucky, for refusing to display orange 'Go Slow' safety triangles, on their horse drawn carts will be appearing on Top Gear in 2012. Should be interesting, Clarkson's never driven something with only one horse power. And the Amish usually sit behind the horse's arse.
3Hugo Boss will be celebrating the prosecution of Europe's worst anti-Semite John Galliano by rereleasing all the clothes the company designed for the SS.
4David Cameron see's no conflict of interest in MP John Djanogly being put in charge of cuts to legal aid that will make him vastly richer. In other news Eric Pickles has been asked to head up investigation into who ate all the pies.
5If rogue traders are addicted to risk? Can't they hunt for IEDs in Afghanistan, rather than blowing a billion on a 100 to 1 chance?
6I'm no racist but my last NHS foreign GP had no clothes on, giant black eyes and shoved a probe up my bum. At least he still made house calls in his flying saucer.
7Massive security presence at Lib Dem conference fails to stop members walking out.
8Why am I striking? Nah it's not about student loans. I'm doing media studies with anarchy studies at Luton and this is my final assignment.
9NUS students reveal that their strike plan to refuse to attend lectures, do any assignments or wash have been taking place since 1997.
10With Glasgow now being the director's location of choice, as a stand in for San Francisco. It's a step up from its usual role standing in for Stalingrad.
11Master chef producers have reiterated, that the programme will maintain its high standards, even though being moved to daytime TV. The first episode had to be cancelled, as one of the contestants was arrested for shoplifting ingredients from Tesco.
12Boris Johnson has been accused of hiring someone to do all the tedious work associated with being mayor of London. He said to our reporter "I completely deny asking some one else to do my job. Now if you don't mind I need to clean Bozzer's, I mean my, toilet."
13Nick Clegg has gained 3 out of 4 of the Liberal's demands from the coalition government. So that's tea, milk and sugar. Only biscuits to go before complete victory.
14Anarchy OK. The new magazine for the celeb obsessed girl who wants to bring down the state. This week smashing handbags or smashing shop windows?
15As a Libdem I am delighted that despite all legal measures the Dale Farm residents have not been evicted. All thanks to a successful last minute appeal to the courts. As a Libdem I'd also like the number of their la
Thanks...
carlett Johansson has called in the FBI after naked pictures of her were leaked on the internet. In a similar move, we've called in MI5 to make sure that photos of Michael Winner's wedding night never, ever see the light of day.
pinions are like doughnuts - people only tend to share them if they're stale. We're in tune with all of your thoughts, fresh or otherwise, thanks to the Jackapp!
In Monosyllables) Daleks are of indeterminate gender. New plan to conquer the Earth by obtaining Australian passports. Let's emigrate! Let's emigrate!
