Where exactly is the comedy in David Brussell’s video clip? I mean, have I missed something here? It’s just a video of him being a pompous git. Unless of course he’s playing the part of a self obsessed poser, in which case, good work. Still not funny though..
My vote goes to Monkehouse or Leevil. I think Leevil just edges it. He seems to be a likable chap around the forum, and most people seem to be voting for their favourite people rather than sketches, so yea..
LEEVIL.
many thanks
I think maybe you did miss something, yes.
You seem like fun, EMS. Let's f**k.
Don't forget to film it!
Thought I'd throw this one back in, one of my 2007 favourites. I'm still trying (on and off) to write the other 5 parts. Probably missed the submission deadline and its a bit late to expect any votes ... never mind!
Bones & Ashe Part 2 - A Bit Of D.I.Y.
EXT DayBusy High Street
EDDIE and BUTCH, who look like a pair of nightclub bouncers, park their large black Ford Transit outside a ‘shop’. Peering through the vehicle’s window they read the sign over the door that says: ‘Bones & Ashe, Funeral Directors. Est. 1876’.
EDDIE:‘Ere… see this… looks promising.
BUTCH:Yeah… less-go-see wot that geezer can do.
Butch and Eddie unwind themselves from inside the Transit, look furtively up and down the street, then walk across the pavement and enter Bones & Ashe.
INT DayBones & Ashe front office
The dingy office is empty. There is a small bell on the counter. Butch presses it…
F/X Bell Ting
Eddie scratches his behind and nervously looks back out of the door they have just entered.
BUTCH:Where the bleedin’ ‘ell is everybody?
F/X Sound of flushing loo from rear of premises
Mr Ashe enters, somberly dressed, adjusting his belt and buttoning his coat.
ASHE:Ah, so sorry to keep you. My name’s Ashe… how can I help you?
EDDIE:You ‘andle stiffs right?
ASHE:Well, I wouldn’t put it quite like that but… yes… we do indeed provide a service for the deceased and their caring friends and relatives…
BUTCH:Woss disseesed?… like sick?… like needing ur bleedin’ doc’ or ‘ospital or summink?
ASHE:Ah… I see Sir is a trifle confused… [emphasises the word] d e c e a s e d… passed on… as in (uhm) no longer with us…
EDDIE:Awl rite… Awl rite… we gets the picture. Point is we got one ‘o them [emphasising each syllable] Dee-seee-sed hart-icles that needs some attention…
BUTCH: [picks up] … an pretty swiftly too me ‘ol mate… we ain’t got all day!
ASHE:I see… and may I ask where the (uhm) deceased is now.
EDDIE:Where-ja fink… in the back of our bleedin’ motor… right outside… in a cuppla bin liners… parked on a double yellow line an’ all… fings is gettin' a bit whiffy so we better get on wiv this sharpish.
BUTCH:‘E was known as Sawnoff Sid, bless ‘im… until yesterday anyway… [muses to himself] good choice o' name that, considrin' 'is current condi-shun... [to Ashe] anyway, ‘e always said when ‘is time come… ‘e’d wanna be next to ‘is mates that's orl-ready gorn before… bit tricky though… ‘cos they wasn’t all laid to rest… so to speak… at the same time or in the same place… so its gotta be either ‘Ammersmiff or Kew for ol' Sawnoff.
ASHE:Ah… yes indeed… Mr Sawnoff had most discerning friends … wonderful resting places … the trees… the lawns … the facilities… some of the best.
EDDIE:Give over mate… we’re talking about either under the bleedin' flyover in ‘Ammersmiff or dropping ‘im off Kew bridge wiv cement wellies… wot do you fink we meant?
Ashe goes pale and faints, collapsing behind the counter.
BUTCH:Come on Eddie,.. let’s get out of ‘ere ‘fore we get a bleedin’ parkin’ ticket.
Butch and Eddie leave. A flatbed truck with a crane on the back has hoisted the front part of their Transit off the road and is preparing to drive away with it in tow.
EDDIE:‘Ere… wozzat geezer doin’ wiv our motor?
BUTCH:Bleedin’ tow truck innit… goin’ orf wiv Sawnoff. [bangs on driver’s window] ‘Ere mate… woss yor game then? Put that bleedin’ motor back on the street where yer farnd it-like.
TOW-DRIVER:[making entries on clip board and replying without looking up] Sorry guv… yer car-n’t park ‘ere… sgott double yellers… takin’ it to the paand.
BUTCH
tone me! [to Eddie] Fink we got a problem. [to Tow-driver] Where’s the bleedin’ paand then? We need that motor for summit pressin’.
TOW-DRIVER: Richmond an’ onnabit… Uv-ver side of the river, juss over Kew Bridge.
Butch and Eddie simultaneously do a double take as the significance of the pound's location dawns on them. After a beat…
EDDIE: [to Tow-driver]Rite-mate… bleedin’ move over, weeze goin’ wiv yer.
Butch and Eddie jump into the tow truck cab either side of the driver, compressing him into the centre of the bench seat. Butch is now behind the wheel. The tow truck with their Transit attached heads off up the street.
BUTCH: [with sickly grin] Lucky you’se goin’ the same place as us innit mate…
TOW-DRIVER: Snot-rite… I cood lose me soddin’ license wiv the paand… snot allowed takin’ passengers… smor-than me-jobs-werf…
EDDIE: [menacingly]Shutit! Jus’ sit quiet-like and enjoy the bleedin’ view. [to Butch] You know where you goin’?
BUTCH:‘Course… been there loadsa times, cuppla-miles up ‘ere I fink. Watch out! Speed bumps!
The tow truck with the Transit attached behind it lurches across a succession of speed bumps. The rear doors of the Transit fly open and two bulky plastic wrapped packages roll back off the tailboard and thud down to the street, bounce twice and land in a builder’s skip, unnoticed by those in the cab. Ten minutes later Butch, Eddie (and the unfortunate tow truck driver) arrive at Kew Bridge and park in the middle. It is now dusk. Eddie and Butch jump out and head to the rear of their Transit van. They see that the doors are hanging open and Sawnoff has gone:
EDDIE:Bleedin’ ‘ell… Sawnoff’s dunna-runna!
BUTCH:[peering inside the back of the Transit] Where’d ‘e go then. Musta lorst ‘im somewhere between Kew an' ‘Ammersmiff… [a beat] ‘Ere… 'ang on a minute…
It slowly dawns on Butch and Eddie that their dilemma over where to dispose of Sawnoff may have been solved fortuitously.
BUTCH: [continues] Lord luvva-duck… the old sod's parked 'imself right between ‘is old chums jus’ like ‘e wanted! [shouts to Tow-driver] You can bugger orf now mate… we’ll come an’ get our motor tomorra. [to Eddie] Right… that’s that then… fancy a pint Eddie?… 'sbeen a bleedin' ‘ard day
End of Bones & Ashe Part 2 – A Bit Of D.I.Y
Quote: Eat_My_Shirts @ January 8, 2008, 8:30 PMWhere exactly is the comedy in David Brussell’s video clip? I mean, have I missed something here? It’s just a video of him being a pompous git. Unless of course he’s playing the part of a self obsessed poser, in which case, good work. Still not funny though..
My vote goes to Monkehouse or Leevil. I think Leevil just edges it. He seems to be a likable chap around the forum, and most people seem to be voting for their favourite people rather than sketches, so yea..
many thanks
First of all if you actually read threads, you would notice we vote for the sketches we think are best regardless of who it is and before you start making personal swipes at people don't do it here (I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks) people work hard on their sketches so don't criticise without fair comment... Yet to see any of your work yet EMS... Strange that.
Quote: Paul W @ January 8, 2008, 9:17 PM(I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks)
HAHAHAHAHAHA 
That is probably the funniest thing I've heard on this forum. Cmon then tough guy, let's see what you've got. 
I'm sorry but I'm having difficulty taking the teenage mods here seriously. The only one who seems to be able to speak with some authority is Aaron. The rest of you remind me of the nerdy prefect kids at secondary school.
Quote: Eat_My_Shirts @ January 8, 2008, 9:31 PMHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm sorry but I'm having difficulty taking the teenage mods here seriously. The only one who seems to be able to speak with some authority is Aaron. The rest of you remind me of the nerdy prefect kids at secondary school.
Do you like being an arse to people or..? The mods are only asking you to play nice and like an adult, its not so very much to ask or expect.
Vote-wise I'd go for dannyjb1 and Leevil equally. If they can't have half a point each then its dannyjb1.The score calculation on this one would've been better if it was along the lines of 'allocate ten points across a maximum of three or four items picked'!
I like EMS.
Hey is this closing?
Roscoff
Hmmm as David hasn't closed the competition we could just close it from the last vote on the 4th of Jan.
Mr Monkhouse for me. Thank you Bushbaby. It's my first vote on this site. [lays cape over puddle in chivalric gesture]