British Comedy Guide

Pitch A Film...

101 Damn Nations!

Residents from over 100 countries are carefully selected and whisked away to a private billionaire's island retreat where they are forced to FIGHT TO THE DEATH! However, they decide to not fight, and instead, induce racial harmony, shed national identity, forsake all previous known religons and form a country of their own called 'Heaven II'. They create a thriving community and build a utopia from scratch. Tragically a tidal wave hits and kills everyone.
The moral of the story: God hates smartarses.

D-o-N-n-A

In the distant future DNA is stored on file in the event of unsolvable crimes. A crooked cop plans to clone his unfaithful ex-wife Donna Lane, and frame her for the murder of her lover. A tragic lab accident results in thousands of 'Donnas' and now the crooked cop must stop them at all costs.
If he thought one pissed off ex-wife was bad, now he has five thousand!

ARMS AND LEGS

A skinhead racist with no legs, and an Orthodox Jew with no arms, are forced to team up in this hilarious mismatched-duo movie as they attempt to discover where a forgetful Jack Russell buried the fossil bone that holds the key to human evolution. Tom Hanks is hired to help, and shines a torch in a church for much of the middle section of this gripping comedy as the cryptic clues lead to a devastatingly underwhelming finale.

Ollie T.

An urbane grit-flick retelling of Oliver Twist in which Ollie T, a young mute orphan from a 'vibrant' looted landscape, dreams of rapping stardom, however, as he's unable to speak he realises his dream is an impossible one and gives up. Eventually taking a job at Burger King. Eventually getting promoted to branch manager. Eventually killing himself.

This thread already covers this Jack. https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/post/160541/

zzzzzzzz......Keep up Jack! :D

It would have been excusable had it been moderately funny. But it wasn't - so it isn't.

You heard back from any of these?

On second thoughts.........

Quote: Will Cam @ September 7 2011, 6:28 PM BST

This thread already covers this Jack. https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/post/160541/

Ah well, assuming nobodies ideas have moved on in the past three and a half years. This thread is pointless.

Quote: Juan Kerr @ September 7 2011, 7:24 PM BST

zzzzzzzz......Keep up Jack! :D

It would have been excusable had it been moderately funny. But it wasn't - so it isn't.

You heard back from any of these?

On second thoughts.........

Well, well, getting a lecture on 'funny' and 'timing' from a guy still cracking Thai Ladyboy jokes is definitely a new low in my pursuit of approval.

I think we have one angst-ridden, frustrated writer (probably a white sock-wearing, trainee assistant stockroom supervisor (designate) at B and Q in reality) in our midst......... Wave

let's be fair - the pitches were absolute shite.

Good to see that you have a decent avatar though now Jack - the previous one was odd!

PS I'll PM you my order for my patio renovation later. Not sure if you deliver to Spain do you though?

Now, chop! chop! the store opens soon Jack.

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 7 2011, 11:32 PM BST

Ah well, assuming nobodies ideas have moved on in the past three and a half years. This thread is pointless.

Well, well, getting a lecture on 'funny' and 'timing' from a guy still cracking Thai Ladyboy jokes is definitely a new low in my pursuit of approval.

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