British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 743

Jack never watch her show, seems OK to me? why read her articles if you hate her?.

Bleedin' brats playing out in my street! the racket 8 girls can make is incredible, especially screaming. Angry

There was an article in local paper about Local authority warning parents they can be fined under the 'noise abatement' laws, wonder if they read that?
Very tempting Cool

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 3 2011, 6:44 PM BST

Lorraine Kelly.

With the false sympathy, and the bitchy hatred of slim attractive women, and the fact she thinks 2 stone of fat is a 'cleavage' and the fact she hates women yet builds a "career" out of some sort of faux-femi-kinship and the fact she namedrops famous people who have been forced onto her show yet she refers to them as though they're her chums and the fact she thinks Downey Jnr and Clooney fancy her and the fact in today's column she uses the term 'I can't believe' four times in regards to things she clearly can believe.

Horrible woman.
Bo Selecta got her spot on.

HEY HEY HEY

HEY

your talking about the woman I love Angry

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 3 2011, 6:44 PM BST

Lorraine Kelly.

With the false sympathy, and the bitchy hatred of slim attractive women, and the fact she thinks 2 stone of fat is a 'cleavage' and the fact she hates women yet builds a "career" out of some sort of faux-femi-kinship and the fact she namedrops famous people who have been forced onto her show yet she refers to them as though they're her chums and the fact she thinks Downey Jnr and Clooney fancy her and the fact in today's column she uses the term 'I can't believe' four times in regards to things she clearly can believe.

Horrible woman.
Bo Selecta got her spot on.

Oi, you leave my 'shame shag' alone!

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 3 2011, 6:44 PM BST

Lorraine Kelly.

With the false sympathy, and the bitchy hatred of slim attractive women, and the fact she thinks 2 stone of fat is a 'cleavage' and the fact she hates women yet builds a "career" out of some sort of faux-femi-kinship and the fact she namedrops famous people who have been forced onto her show yet she refers to them as though they're her chums and the fact she thinks Downey Jnr and Clooney fancy her and the fact in today's column she uses the term 'I can't believe' four times in regards to things she clearly can believe.

Horrible woman.
Bo Selecta got her spot on.

You lay off of the one woman I can fantasise about slamming, whilst eating chips and sauce out of her ample cleavage (whilst she compliments my standup in her lovely burr)

and I'll lay off be mulleted wanna be cowboy comics from the 80s that aren't as funny as they're made out to be.

Hmmm, not sure I like you sharing my fantasy soots. It might be a different sauce though. *crosses fingers*

And just to end the Bill Hicks debate, he was hugely influential, sincere and satirical - and I loved him in the early 90s - but he's not particularly funny to watch now in part because he's been aped so often. Without him, comedy today would be a much poorer place is the biggest tribute I can offer.

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 3 2011, 6:44 PM BST

Lorraine Kelly.

With the false sympathy, and the bitchy hatred of slim attractive women, and the fact she thinks 2 stone of fat is a 'cleavage' and the fact she hates women yet builds a "career" out of some sort of faux-femi-kinship and the fact she namedrops famous people who have been forced onto her show yet she refers to them as though they're her chums and the fact she thinks Downey Jnr and Clooney fancy her and the fact in today's column she uses the term 'I can't believe' four times in regards to things she clearly can believe.

Horrible woman.
Bo Selecta got her spot on.

How can you say that about the gorgeous woman. She is stunning.

Apparently if you out the best features of some of the most beautiful women in the world you get Loraine Kelly.

I love her accent.

And she likes football - genuinely without being some glory hunter.

Quote: Chappers @ September 3 2011, 10:41 PM BST

And she likes football - genuinely without being some glory hunter.

Absolutely. She's a big friend of Sir Alex but doesn't make a big fuss about it.

Is that like being a friend of Dorothy?

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 3 2011, 6:44 PM BST

Lorraine Kelly.

With the false sympathy, and the bitchy hatred of slim attractive women, and the fact she thinks 2 stone of fat is a 'cleavage' and the fact she hates women yet builds a "career" out of some sort of faux-femi-kinship and the fact she namedrops famous people who have been forced onto her show yet she refers to them as though they're her chums and the fact she thinks Downey Jnr and Clooney fancy her and the fact in today's column she uses the term 'I can't believe' four times in regards to things she clearly can believe.

Horrible woman.
Bo Selecta got her spot on.

Couldn't agree more. She winds me right up.

Bahaha. Tourists piss me off too!! And imagine living in New York?! They're everywhere! Bumping into people who are trying to walk to work because they're looking up at the pretty skyscrapers. UGH. and besides that: AIR CONDITIONING!!!

Air conditioning pisses you off??

Quote: zooo @ September 4 2011, 11:51 AM BST

Air conditioning pisses you off??

She probably means that in NY, many of the buildings are made ugly by big rusting air-conditioner boxes hanging out of windows or on outside walls, and they make a constant whirring noise and they usually drip water from odd corners.

Ah. Fair enough then.

I basically worship air conditioning though. Even in a relatively coldish country!

Quote: billwill @ September 4 2011, 5:41 PM BST

and they usually drip water from odd corners.

Arggghhhh!! Legionnaire's disease?

Athletes.

Generally because they are so far up their own fundament but particularly those who, having won some bauble, run to the crowd to receive their national flag which they then run around with like butterfly wings.

Angry

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