Desert Island Dicks: Kirsty Young asks her guest which 8 people they would like to maroon on a desert island.
Loose Ends: David Walliams' character from Little Britain delivers a postcard from a different seaside resort each week.
15 minutes of phrases such as "she was askin' for it" and "you couldn't blame me, look at the way she was dressed" in What The Rapers Say.
Prayer for the Day: Listeners are encouraged to pray to God asking for something they really desire, and then are disappointed when Steve Wright's show is still broadcast as usual.
Player for the Day: The same programme as above, but aimed at Japanese listeners who also hate Steve Wright.
And Muslims have to quote passages from the Koran without hesitation, repetition or deviation in Just a Minaret.