Red Riding Hood

GRANDMA'S HOUSE

RRH: My Grandma! What big ears you have.

G: The better to hear you with, my dear.

RRH: My Grandma! What big eyes you have.

G: The better to watch you with, my dear.

RRH: Ok... My Grandma! What a big cock you have.

G: The better to f**k you with, my dear.

RRH: Wait, what was that last one?

G: Er, the better to make love to you with?

RRH: You're not my Grandma at all!

G: Of course I am, I'm just a bit of a GYLF is all. With a 'Y', for you.

RRH: There's no I in GILF as far as I'm concerned!

A LUMBERJACK BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR WIELDING AN AXE AND A 'MURDEROUS' GLINT IN HIS EYE.

L: Right! Where is she?!

A GILF with a dick...?

Get out of here Red Riding Hood, you don't need to see this.

RRH CLOSES THE DOOR ON HER WAY OUT.

L: My 'Grandma'! What big ears you have.

THE LUMBERJACK STARTS RUNNING HIS HAND UP HER ARM TOWARDS HER FACE.

FIN.

Needless to say the alternative title for this is Blue Riding Hood, but I wanted the filth to be more of a surprise.

Very good, but the Gilf line distracts abit.

And play up the porn film elements as for my money they're the funniest.

Maybe the 3 Little pigs are filming it and wolfie offers to blow them?

Whats a gilf? I'm not up to speed!

I liked the ending bit 'you don't need to see this'

granny I'd like to f**k

eg Helen Mirren

Oh...

Probably invented by Wayne Rooney one night to save time when texting about his latest squeeze.

Quote: sootyj @ August 18 2011, 12:46 PM BST

granny I'd like to f**k

eg Helen Mirren

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Does the same apply to grandads?? must have a think about that one.

Quote: sootyj @ August 18 2011, 10:20 AM BST

Very good, but the Gilf line distracts abit.

And play up the porn film elements as for my money they're the funniest.

Maybe the 3 Little pigs are filming it and wolfie offers to blow them?

View original

Thanks, you think all the GILF stuff was unnecessary, or one just one line?

You have a dirty mind, this was a family sketch!

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 18 2011, 12:42 PM BST

I liked the ending bit 'you don't need to see this'

View original

Thanks SB. I guess Grandad's could be called GILF's too, not sure what else you'd call them.

I guess there's not much you can do with such sketches except share them on here, I don't suppose many people are after this sort of thing.

None too shabby Vader.

Quote: Vader @ August 18 2011, 2:42 PM BST

Thanks, you think all the GILF stuff was unnecessary, or one just one line?

You have a dirty mind, this was a family sketch!

Thanks SB. I guess Grandad's could be called GILF's too, not sure what else you'd call them.

I guess there's not much you can do with such sketches except share them on here, I don't suppose many people are after this sort of thing.

View original

Just the one line it breaks the rhythmn.

You've also set the whole thing up so nicely it works well enough without it, the audience get where you are coming from.

Clive Dunn.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 19 2011, 10:46 AM BST

Clive Dunn.

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Um. Interesting choice Shandonbelle. I would have thought perhaps a GYLF would have been more like say Pierce Brosnan.

I don't really think of Clive that way . I'm stumped on that one.

Quote: Jack Daniels @ August 18 2011, 10:53 PM BST

None too shabby Vader.

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Thanks JD.

Quote: sootyj @ August 18 2011, 10:56 PM BST

Just the one line it breaks the rhythmn.

You've also set the whole thing up so nicely it works well enough without it, the audience get where you are coming from.

View original

Yeah, you're probably right, do you mean the no I in GILF line?

Quote: KLRiley @ August 19 2011, 11:11 AM BST

Um. Interesting choice Shandonbelle. I would have thought perhaps a GYLF would have been more like say Pierce Brosnan.

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I'd say Brosnan's more of a FILF! As for GILF's, maybe Jack Nicholson or Sean Connery?