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Status report Page 3,967

Had to unblock a pooey toilet :(

Have you ever unblocked via the mop method?

Satisfying job oddly enough

Quote: KLRiley @ August 12 2011, 7:53 PM BST

Having finally applied for a job after spending hours hunting through the company's website trying to find the application form, I discover that it's a graduate job. And as such has all those lovely little graduate hurdles that you have to jump over these days. Next step is take a test. Or three. Verbal reasoning - why are verbal reasoning tests always written down? Logical reasoning - spot the patterns. And a test of their own special devising where you have to pick one of three given answers but nothing is 'correct'. In that case why wasn't there the 'I would have got all the correct information from the client the first time' option or even 'I understand that proof reading means picking up all the erros and not leaving one in the CEO's report option. However, I have found that I have more hoops. This comes in the form of writing four short essays to prove that I've read their marketing literature and I do understand for which branch of the business I've applied. If I produce a faultless and flawless 2,000 words then I get an interview. If I pass the interview I get invited to an assessment centre. And if I pass the assessment centre I get a final interview with a partner! Then I'll be put on the waiting list for the next intake. It might be quicker to go straight to pension.

Strewth. Whatever happened to , "I like the cut of your jib son, let's see how you get on."

Astonishing how Human Resources, the traditional refuge of all the useless annoying egotistical people no-one else had any use for, has come to rule the workplace with such an iron hand.

My HR lady is a sweetheart who bakes me cookies and hugs me whenever she sees me.

Waiting to catch a flight to Atlanta at an ungodly time of the morning. Ugh.

Quote: Timbo @ August 13 2011, 10:11 AM BST

Strewth. Whatever happened to , "I like the cut of your jib son, let's see how you get on."

Astonishing how Human Resources, the traditional refuge of all the useless annoying egotistical people no-one else had any use for, has come to rule the workplace with such an iron hand.

To be honest it's the way that that traditional graduate employers (law, accountancy, civil service at least) do things these days simply to manage the numbers. When I were young I think it was about one in ten went to uni. Now it's about 4 in ten. Or will be until next year. There is no way they could cope if everyone who thought they were first class material applied. And a lot of very very average students at extremely average universities seem to think that they are triple starred alpha firsts when in reality they are heading for a third or bare 2:2. I know I've spent a lot of my career trying to teach them. The test thing is an effective way of removing all those who claim to be predicted 2:1 and there is no come back. The HR departments will give feedback but generally don't give out results.
I'm persisting because although I got a letter telling me that I'm effective got an unconditional offer to go back to uni as a student because I already have a masters degree I will have to pay the full fee for this course ie the overseas rate. (Don't ask. Government funding cuts but Gordon's rather than the current bunch of incompetents). I went slightly postal as the number is anywhere between £9,500 and £16,500. Four weeks before the course starts and they couldn't tell me exactly how much.
Anyway I'm doing what any self respecting middle class type type would do. Tapping up all of my contacts for an internship which will at least enhance the CV while looking for gainful employment.

Having recently shortlisted and interviewed. It's mainly a way of getting the genuinely interested and sifting out the what the hell brigade.

Annoying I know. But as annoying on the other side of the table to interview 6 people and have them all turn the job down.

Done a few whole day interviews and they are a pain in the arse. Especially when you have a good idea they knew who they wanted in the first place.

Seated in the back of the plane next to a flight attendant. It's a gay man and not the hot woman. Of course.

Cool they must think you're a potential terrorist and worthy or wrestling with.

I had a brief spell working in HR (yes, I know what I said about it being the refuge of useless annoying egotistical people no-one else has any use for) and saw at first hand their love of overcomplicating processes in the name of achieving some spurious objectivity, so I am perhaps a little jaundiced.

I do though accept the need to sort the wheat from the chaff, as more people chase fewer opportunities. It is not entirely a new thing. Back in the day I had to sit the civil service exam, but it was discontinued because we were not meeting diversity quotas and the examination discriminated against illiterate, innumerate people.

I work with HR alot, oddly enough in my organisation performance, grievance and misconduct stuff can only be dealt with by a manager.

So as I don't have alot to do in my regular job I end up helping out with all this stuff.

Quote: sootyj @ August 13 2011, 11:40 AM BST

I work with HR alot, oddly enough in my organisation performance, grievance and misconduct stuff can only be dealt with by a manager.

Yes HR do have a knack for palming off the difficult stuff; in my organisation managers are increasingly left to fend for themselves when it comes to these issues - all part of the economies whereby support functions are trimmed so all managers' time is tied up dealing with administrative work.

Oh that's definitely the case, I left a job with a council after a week.

Because I was informed that my staff team were permanent and generally over 3 years in a post (basically unsackable). And I was an agency manager (basically don't come back tomorrow if we don't like you).

And HR only provided an email advice service.

Brilliant. One member of staff was living in Sierra Leone and hadn't been seen in a year, another was working 3 days a week for his union (he was a support worker and whilst he was locked in his office the year before one client ran off for 2 months).

Was not worth it!

Quote: KLRiley @ August 13 2011, 10:58 AM BST

To be honest it's the way that that traditional graduate employers (law, accountancy, civil service at least) do things these days simply to manage the numbers. When I were young I think it was about one in ten went to uni. Now it's about 4 in ten. Or will be until next year. There is no way they could cope if everyone who thought they were first class material applied. And a lot of very very average students at extremely average universities seem to think that they are triple starred alpha firsts when in reality they are heading for a third or bare 2:2. I know I've spent a lot of my career trying to teach them. The test thing is an effective way of removing all those who claim to be predicted 2:1 and there is no come back. The HR departments will give feedback but generally don't give out results.
I'm persisting because although I got a letter telling me that I'm effective got an unconditional offer to go back to uni as a student because I already have a masters degree I will have to pay the full fee for this course ie the overseas rate. (Don't ask. Government funding cuts but Gordon's rather than the current bunch of incompetents). I went slightly postal as the number is anywhere between £9,500 and £16,500. Four weeks before the course starts and they couldn't tell me exactly how much.
Anyway I'm doing what any self respecting middle class type type would do. Tapping up all of my contacts for an internship which will at least enhance the CV while looking for gainful employment.

Have you considered just handing youself in and claiming you were a rioter. You'll get a couple of years in a cushty open prison and the state'll pay for your Masters/

Quote: KLRiley @ August 13 2011, 10:58 AM BST

Anyway I'm doing what any self respecting middle class type type would do. Tapping up all of my contacts for an internship which will at least enhance the CV while looking for gainful employment.

Are there any OU style distance learning courses you could work for, leaving you time at home to seek something else? Or private tuition?

Quote: sootyj @ August 13 2011, 11:56 AM BST

Have you considered just handing youself in and claiming you were a rioter. You'll get a couple of years in a cushty open prison and the state'll pay for your Masters/

I'm disabled. Ish. If I can get disabled student's allowance then the cost goes back down to normal home fee, which, although is £6K, has been budgeted for.

Quote: AJGO @ August 13 2011, 12:11 PM BST

Are there any OU style distance learning courses you could work for, leaving you time at home to seek something else? Or private tuition?

Fulltime is two days a week. I have plans for the other three days...

Can't get word to do what I want, can't get software to do what I want. No submissions for me because I'm an idiot. Sulk sulk sulk

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