British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 428

My city finally passed a smoking ban that covers restaurants, bars, public parks and stadiums. Now I'll have twice as much room at my favourite pub and won't have to risk lung cancer if I want to get served by the pretty girls.

Apparently they've seized cocaine worth £300,000,000.

Why don't the government take it and sell it to reduce the debt?

http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/dont-ignore-death-penalty-calls-2?ucsort=1

MPs debating whether they should debate bringing back death penalty. Eek! (not because I'm a murderer, just a general eek!)

Quote: DaButt @ August 3 2011, 5:41 PM BST

My city finally passed a smoking ban that covers restaurants, bars, public parks and stadiums. Now I'll have twice as much room at my favourite pub and won't have to risk lung cancer if I want to get served by the pretty girls.

Can you ventilate the lungs of smokers with your snazzy new revolver?

I mean that really is assault with a deadly weapon.

Quote: AJGO @ August 4 2011, 11:00 AM BST

http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/dont-ignore-death-penalty-calls-2?ucsort=1

MPs debating whether they should debate bringing back death penalty. Eek! (not because I'm a murderer, just a general eek!)

Just away of advertising another f**kwitted pointless big society iniative.

That said the only reason a european country would reinstate the death penalty is as a quicky way out of the EU.

Mind you Sootyj has always fancied himself as a hangman/

Quote: sootyj @ August 4 2011, 11:12 AM BST

Can you ventilate the lungs of smokers with your snazzy new revolver?

The aforementioned pub derives less than 51% of its income from alcohol sales so it's legal to carry a concealed weapon there.

The Scots' national hero is actually a con.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8678875/Greyfriars-Bobby-was-just-a-Victorian-publicity-stunt-claims-academic.html

How can the same dog be there fourteen years? It could only really fool the festival crowd...

Quote: Tim Azure @ August 4 2011, 4:08 PM BST

The Scots' national hero is actually a con.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8678875/Greyfriars-Bobby-was-just-a-Victorian-publicity-stunt-claims-academic.html

How can the same dog be there fourteen years? It could only really fool the festival crowd...

Now look, each to their own I know. But when public sector workers dare not sneeze, the Bombardier works is close to closing and all the other things too numerous to mention (thanks Dave, George, Oliver, William etc) . who the F paid this bloke to do this for five years?

If it was in his own time, fair does but . . . . .

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2022763/More-Twitter-threats-Duncan-Bannatynes-daughter.html

...Chip?

So Scotland where's your messiah now?

Quote: sootyj @ August 5 2011, 4:07 PM BST

So Scotland where's your messiah now?

Bad enough that this thing was a dog, but it was from Edinburgh, for God's sake! Any self-respecting Glaswegian would have trampled it on sight.

Quote: zooo @ August 5 2011, 4:03 PM BST

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2022763/More-Twitter-threats-Duncan-Bannatynes-daughter.html ...Chip?

That's why I mentioned her in the "Who do you fancy?" thread because her face was in the news!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I shall call off the police.

Quote: zooo @ August 6 2011, 12:06 AM BST

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I shall call off the police.

I wouldn't. There's always something pending. ;)

Quote: Chappers @ August 3 2011, 5:46 PM BST

Apparently they've seized cocaine worth £300,000,000.

Why don't the government take it and sell it to reduce the debt?

It was probably them who smuggled it into the country in the first place. Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQNSoOX-dcw&feature=related

This polar bear business pisses me off. Some idiots go camping in the polar bears habitat, he naturally attacks, somebody dies and the poor bear is shot. They shouldn't be anywhere near the bears.

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