Folk Off!

Blatantly a work in progress. I've been asked to put together some material for a mockumentary about a spoof folk band. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of solid characterisation yet but their thing is they are three simple folk from the west country singing about their village and local stories, not realising that they are funny.

Here's what I've got so far. Any feedback gratefully received.

Title screen: "Folk On - A Folkumentary"

Photo of band performing on stage.

V/O:Little known folk band 'Folk On' fell under the media spotlight earlier this year when London Mayor Boris Johnson named them as a possible starring act for the 2012 Olympic Games opening ceremony.

Photo of band with Boris.

V/O:But who are they? Formed in 1997, the three members of 'Folk On' became friends at the school cheese knurdling society and discovered that they had a shared love of traditional west country music and folk tales.

Cut to band sitting being interviewed (Interviewer not seen on screen).

INTERVIEWERo how did you form the band?

CORNFOOTCAPTION: - Donald Cornfoot) We actually formed the band in alphabetical order. I wasn't sure the others would be interested so I joined the band on my own at first.

INTERVIEWER:Wasn't it a problem being a three piece band on your own?

CORNFOOT:It was a nightmare. It was when I was explaining the difficulties to Edmund that he admitted he'd always wanted to be in a folk band.

SIDEBOTTAMCAPTION: - Edmund Sidebottam) We got together for a jam session and it was a lot better but something still wasn't quite right.

CORNFOOT:Being a three piece band was still too much work for two people. That's when Derek suggested that he could join the band.

SIDEBOTTAM:In retrospect, it was an obvious solution.

CORNFOOT:I don't know why we didn't think of it before.

TINKELEBERRYCAPTION: - Derek Tinkleberry) When I got together with the other two, the whole three piece band thing just sort of clicked.

V/O:Folk On's first gig was at the Little Dribblepatch Whitsun Fayre and Cheese Knurdling Expo.

Photo of one band member holding a cheese knurdling trophy proudly.

V/Oadly no footage of this gig exists but a small piece of audio tape has been found in a fan's collection.

Photo of mocked-up flyer for the Fayre in question.

GRAMS: Low quality recording of the band shouting words and hitting things out of time and out of tune with each other. It sounds terrible.

Cut to footage of the band pointing at a cow in a field.

V/O:Having formed the band and starting to get paid gigs, the next step was to learn how to play some instruments and write some songs.

Cut back to band being interviewed.

TINKLEBERRY:We wanted to concentrate on local songs and tunes. Things to keep the old traditions alive. We even looked at ancient instruments from the area.

CORNFOOT:I remember that Edmund had his heart set on reviving the Somerset Pig-Hunting Harp.

SIDEBOTTAM:Very much so. It's a sort of cross between a hurdy-gurdy, a stomp-box and an Alpenhorn. After about six months of trying to find somewhere to buy one and someone to teach me how to play it, I finally came to the realisation that I had just imagined it.

TINKLEBERRY:Even so, we still write the score for the Somerset Pig-Hunting Harp in all our songs. Perhaps that will become one of the old traditions in the future. These things all have to start somewhere.

INTERVIEWER:Where do your songs come from?

CORNFOOTome of them are our interpretations of local folk tales.

SIDEBOTTAMome we write ourselves to document life in Little Dribblepatch and the surrounding area.

CORNFOOT:And some are ancient folk songs handed down in a local dialect called Snuggen which we've reworked in English for more modern instruments.

TINKLEBERRY: Those last one are particularly difficult as there are only three people left who speak the Snuggen dialect and two of those are dead.

CORNFOOT:And the other one doesn't speak any English so we can only really learn the songs from him by a mixture of charades and guesswork.

SIDEBOTTAM:Unfortunately he's also 106 years old, a dribbling idiot and deaf as a post but he's the only source of these old songs and it would be a shame to let them die out.

INTERVIEWERome people have suggested that these aren't actually old folk songs but the incoherent ramblings of a mad man.

The band all look as if this hadn't occurred to them before.

CORNFOOToes that make them any less valid than any other folk songs? They're still an important part of local life.

...to be continued when I think of some more ideas or get a chance to chat to the guys in the band about any ideas they have!

Nice.

How about a jam session joke/scene where they actually mistakenly make...jam. Like the folk names in particular. The thing is with a mockumentary, is it's hard to know how well it's going to pan out 'til it's performed, I would think. You got lots of ideas but I think you might need to pace them out a little bit, and also think about the different characters in the band. Good excuse to mix in some heavy dialect writing!

Lots to like there. I love the idea of joining up in alphabetical order. Have you seen A Mighty Wind?

Quote: Badge @ August 3 2011, 2:32 PM BST

Have you seen A Mighty Wind?

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Yes. I'm trying not to subconsciously copy/plagiarise Mighty Wind or Spinal Tap.

Quote: BardManners @ August 3 2011, 2:23 PM BST

You got lots of ideas but I think you might need to pace them out a little bit

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I think we'll probably only get a chance to do about 5-10 minutes before the festival so it will need to be pretty pacey.

Quote: BardManners @ August 3 2011, 2:23 PM BST

and also think about the different characters in the band. Good excuse to mix in some heavy dialect writing!

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I've seen the band perform a couple of times but they're still sort of fleshing out the characters and I haven't had a chance to chat to them about it yet. As for dialect writing, I'll let the band put things into their own voice as they find appropriate.

Probs best I heard dialect stuff can go a bit wrong.

I love it, it's hilarious.

Quote: bushbaby @ August 3 2011, 6:57 PM BST

I love it, it's hilarious.

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Thanks!

The festival we'll use it for is on the Bank Holiday so I'm trying to keep it to stuff which requires a minimum of filming and editing or can be done with pre-photoshopped pictures and voice overs

BTW - this is the band

They're called Folk On, to which the audience response is a loud, "Folk off!"

And you can see them doing The Lovely Song last year at the Greenbelt Festival on the Last Orders show for which I write.

And the next bit...

Photo of mocked up t-shirt with tour dates etc.
"FOLK ON - UPPER DRIBBLEPATCH OR BUST TOUR"

V/O:With half a dozen or so songs in their repertoire, Folk On embarked on a mini-tour of small intimate venues to try out their material in front of crowds of up to two people.

Close in on T-shirt to see the dates & venues:
- Edmund's shed
- Derek's Uncle's greenhouse
- Donald's Nan's allotment
- Little Dribblepatch Bus Shelter
- Telephone Box on the High Street
- Etc.

Cut back to band.

TINKLEBERRY:The tour was a great success - it allowed us to find out what worked and what didn't. For instance, I found out that crowd surfing didn't really work with only two people in the audience.

CORNFOOT:And I found out that you can't fit a tuba into a phone box.

INTERVIEWER:Was there much point playing to such small crowds?

SIDEBOTTAM:Well, with a crowd that small, we found that we really had to give it our all. If there's only one person watching you, it's an all-or-nothing response. Either the entire audience likes you or the entire audience hates you.

TINKLEBERRY:It's horrible to have the entire audience frowning at you and checking their watch but it feels great when absolutely everyone in the audience is singing along!

Cut to YouTube clip of them playing at Last Orders 2010.

V/O:Following a sell-out gig on Last Orders at Greenbelt 2010, Folk On were awarded a National Lottery grant...

Cut to photo of band holding a massive cheque.
Close up on cheque showing amount of £5.63.

V/O:...which they spent on the bus fare home from collecting the cheque.

Cut back to band being interviewed.

INTERVIEWERid the lottery grant feel like some well-deserved recognition?

CORNFOOT:I'd got two numbers that week so we didn't realise it was a grant at first.

SIDEBOTTAM:It felt good, obviously but nice comments from our fans always count for more.

V/O:And the comments from fans were beginning to come from some well-informed sources.

Cut to KATE RUSBY.

RUSBYCAPTION: - Kate Rusby - Folk On fan and singer/songwriter) I owe them everything. I'm going to call my next child 'Folk On'.

Cut to BILLY BRAGG.

BRAGGCAPTION: - Billy Bragg - Protest singer and Folk On disciple) Folk On taught me everything I know about folk music. And, obviously, there was that time they pulled me from that burning building...

Cut to DUKE SPECIAL.

SPECIALCAPTION: - Duke Special (stage name)) After hearing Folk On for the first time, I literally threw all the rest of my music away.

Cut to BOB HARRIS.

HARRISCAPTION: - Whistling 'Whispering' Bob Harris - Legend) I would have had Folk On for every single episode of the Whistle Test. If someone invents a time machine, the offer is still open.

Band publicity photo.

V/O:And they were starting to get recognition from the man in the street...

Photo of a man standing in the street, thumbs up, wearing a t-shirt with 'FOLK OFF!' in large letters.

V/O:...and other people, not necessarily men, in places other than the street.

Cut to some vox pops around site asking people what they think of Folk On. Hopefully get a few "Who?!" responses, a "FOLK OFF!" or two and a couple of weird ones.

V/O:By now, the band were getting their own 'Folk Off!' catchphrase. But where did the band name come from and where did the catchphrase come from?

Cut to band being interviewed.

INTERVIEWER:By now, you have you own 'Folk Off!' catchphrase. But where did the band name come from and where did the catchphrase come from?

Band respond - each with a wildly different story of the origin of the name and catchphrase.

By the way, the celebs are people who will be on site that I am hoping to be able to bully into the required 'quotes'.

And if you've never heard of Duke Special I recommend YouTubing him. He looks like a cross between Gary Numan and Tim Minchin and sings some excellent songs.

Good stuff Afinkawan.
Lots to like

Starting to get some photoshops together for the folkumentary.

Not bad, here's a few ideas.

You could have: drunken sheep-shearing, drink a yard of ale upside down, elegant gurning and tossing the scarecrow.

I haven't been able to give it a proppa read because I need to get off to work, but what I seen I likes

"After about six months of trying to find somewhere to buy one and someone to teach me how to play it, I finally came to the realisation that I had just imagined it."

This line is a masterpiece. I do like this kind of thing, where the walls of reality are broken down, sort of Father Ted surrealism. Liked the parody of how bands describe getting together, very good.

Quote: M Paterson @ August 31 2011, 5:07 PM BST

"After about six months of trying to find somewhere to buy one and someone to teach me how to play it, I finally came to the realisation that I had just imagined it."

This line is a masterpiece.

View original

Thanks!

Unfortunately, as it was a busy weekend and the band were much more in demand than they were expecting, we didn't get a chance to film it all. They went down so well in fact that we will probably see them on main stage next year.

So we just put together a trailer for the Folkumentary which we'll work on for next year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZPAEnsiU_E

Oh bum. I've just noticed a spelling mistake. Oops.

Wow this is great stuff really funny!