Biological War Bunker Sketch Page 2

Sorry guys as a pilot this isn't really selling you. The post apocalyptic last group in the world sitcom idea is not a new one. I would recommend you gets some books on script-writing or go on a course, get some of the basics sorted. I don;t know if you are improv actors - for me improv is an exercise for actors to get into character or what not, it isn't ever a substitute for a good script or a tightly defined narrative. Riffing within the scene is fine if it works, but that scene needs to be very well designed to start with.

nb my little reedit was something I did on my laptop waiting to do a standup gig. So sorry for the roughness.

But to be honest there wasn't much to work on.

Maybe start thinking about these questions?

1 Who are these people?
2 How do they relate to each other?
3 What are their individual goals?
4 What stops them achieving them?

This is the core of any sitcom.

Sootyj

1 Who are these people?
Chris, Liam and George

2 How do they relate to each other?
They survived the biological attack and they are surviving in a unique bunker.

3 What are their individual goals?
Chris wants the other two to behave and respect his efforts to help them. Liam wants to remember his dead wife but keep an even keel. George had a black girlfriend and wants to know more about the rats that died. Liam also wants to know about the rats.

4 What stops them achieving them?
The bio-war.

I think that's a good core so far. Do I need anything else?

Do you really do standup comedy?! Cool.

Marc P

"The post apocalyptic last group in the world sitcom idea is not a new one."
Please can you tell me name? I want to watch it.

"improv is an exercise for actors to get into character or what not, it isn't ever a substitute for a good script or a tightly defined narrative."
I agree, that's why we took 4 months out to write this script carefully.

Right, try this as a crude attempt to apply the same to Peepshow.

1 Who are they?
Mark a highly repressed banker, rather anal and obsessed with world war 2 and writing his book on management speak. He's the office bore and is frustrated in love.

Jez is the slacker, failed musician. Compulsive womaniser but actually looking for the special person. Never grew up.

2 How do they relate to each other?

They are the brother e.g. 2 people living together of equal status. Mark owns the flat and Jez lives there rent free. Jez needs Mark for money, food and common sense. Mark would probably hang himself from loneliness if Jez wasn't there. Jez would probably die in the street without Mark. They are completely codependent, but Mark knows when he gets a girlfriend Jez is out. And Jez knows when his band takes off he's out of there.

3 Mark wants to be rich, popular and have a girlfriend.
Jez wants to be cool, succesful and deep down he also wants a girl friend.

4 Mark is anal, untrusting and self defeating. He relates badly to others and sabotages himself.

Jez is stupid, naiev and lazy. He also can't be bothered to really try at anything.

Also the 2 of them seem to conspire to maintain the status quo.

Okay, got it.

1 Who are they?
Chris was a highly repressed accountant, he wrote a book on money. He's boring and wants a wife.

Liam is rather anal and obsessed with war. Heis fascinated because their is a war when the sitcom takes place.

George is the slacker, failed singer. Compulsive womaniser but actually looking for the special person. Never grew up. He had a black girlfriend.

2 How do they relate to each other?
They are the brother e.g. 3 people living together of equal status.
Chris and Liam own the bunker and George lives there rent free. George needs Liam and Chris for shelter, food and common sense. Liam would be lonely if George and Chris weren't there. Chris would probably die in the meltdown of society and infections without George and Liam. They are completely codependent, but they know that when the war clears up they'll resume their lives, or hope to.

3 What are their individual goals?
Chris wants the other two to behave and respect his efforts to help them. He also wants to be rich, popular and have a girlfriend.
George wants to be cool, succesful and deep down he also wants a black girl friend. Liam wants to remember his dead wife but keep an even keel.

4 What stops them achieving them?
Chris is anal, untrusting and self defeating during the bio-war.
Liam relates badly to others and sabotages himself. He is a widower.
George is stupid, naiev and lazy. He also can't be bothered to really try at anything in the futuristic bunker built to protect life.