yeah, it was my 40th birthday A while ago I may ad. Any how My Mum went to the local shop to buy me a card, and she asked the shop-keeper have you got any 40th birthday cards please, so he got he several out which she then looked at and said to him No! these are no good, to which he replied Why? well it says 40 TODAY, he is not 40 till next Tuesday.
Hi, welcome to the site. You only need one introduction thread though. 
I'll move this one to Critique for you, as it seems to be a joke you want critique on.
I'll let you know what I think next Tuesday...
I was going to say that yesterday!
Ah... I think get it, the birthday cards all
state "40 today" and the mum, not realising that
you'd recieve the card on the actual day
felt that buying a card with "Today" on,
days before the event would outdate it as
she couldn't fully grasp the concept that
the present tense of the birthday card would
still be viable on the actual day itself.
Wordplay at its sharpest. The kind of idea
that comes along once in a lifetime.
Write this joke down and treasure it safely.
Keep sealed/dated copies in your solicitor's safe.
I feel this may be your legacy. Your gift to the world.
Pass it down the generations like an heirloom
so each subsequent inheritor can cash in on the
joke, base shows and books around the joke, do a
film adaptation of the joke, an album of music
inspired by, other related brand merchandising
opportunites. et cetera.
Good stuff.
Quote: Jack Daniels @ July 24 2011, 2:20 AM BSTAh... I think get it, the birthday cards all
state "40 today" and the mum, not realising that
you'd recieve the card on the actual day
felt that buying a card with "Today" on,
days before the event would outdate it as
she couldn't fully grasp the concept that
the present tense of the birthday card would
still be viable on the actual day itself.
Thanks very much for the deconstruction Jack, it's greatly appreciated. I was actually getting pretty perplexed by this joke and I now I can fully appreciate how funny it is. I normally only get the really low-brow jokes, like the one about the guy who accidently does a crap down his own chimney because his reflection had pissed him off or something. So bloody funny, it cracks me up every time I even think about it. I'm literally crying!!!
Quote: Tom Jordan @ July 24 2011, 6:40 PM BSTThanks very much for the deconstruction Jack, it's greatly appreciated. I was actually getting pretty perplexed by this joke and I now I can fully appreciate how funny it is.
Had you stopped there it would've been a witty little comeback.
The rest of your post makes you sound a bit boring.
Be cool.
Quote: Jack Daniels @ July 24 2011, 6:47 PM BSTHad you stopped there it would've been a witty little comeback.
The rest of your post makes you sound a bit boring.
Be cool.
Ok, well I'm not sure how you've deduced that the intention of my post was to act as a "witty little comeback" to yours. I was actually just trying to join in with your sarcastic critique of the joke. However I do appreciate your analysis. Especially the "Be cool" bit at the end. It makes you sound like a 1950's beatnik writer and, from what I understand, their retro value makes them very popular amongst the contemporary coffee shop hipster types. I'm sure you could be very popular in those circles if you wanted to be.
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
wheres that 'handbags at dawn' emoticon?
i think sometimes if you deconstruct a joke too much it takes the fun out.
i welcome constructive feedback on the above response.
was using the pirate out of context a bit too much?
"Deduced"? 
Okay, dig this, Daddy-O,
To tell someone to Be Cool about something means, Relax
Don't try so hard to impress, Don't get worked up about nothing.
As for your coffee shop thing you said, no doubt it sounded funny and scathing
when you typed it all out, but that doesn't happen in this country.
You're thinking about a country you've seen on T.V, or read about in books.
I'm sure in real life you aren't as boring as you come across. I'm sure you're a smart, popular and incisive fella.
Peace Out Man, Stay Hip, Don't Let 'The Man' Get you Down 
Well I'm glad we're all working so hard to help this place get a reputation as a friendly, welcoming forum... 
He started it!
*mutters under breath*
Sorry Tom...
I am just so bummed out by all this negative energy man.
can u feel the love?
Quote: zooo @ July 24 2011, 10:13 PM BSTWell I'm glad we're all working so hard to help this place get a reputation as a friendly, welcoming forum...
Does a fight in one head count 
The emoticons nearly crashed my computer... but luckily my karma's
trippin' on a high because of the incense/bongo/jazz music ambience in my room.
In fact why are we even using computers when telepathy is the true divine
communication?
So yeah, lets hold hands behave like cool cats and protest against all the
above cynicsm.
Quote: Will Cam @ July 24 2011, 10:23 PM BSTDoes a fight in one head count
And now what does that mean????