Quick question

I'm doing an 8 minute thing tonight, I have
the script clear in my head,but I was thinking
of opening with a news-relevant line:

"I've been reading about these saline murders, is it
just me who thinks that it's a tragic, tragic waste
when a murderer seems shaggable"

or

"Even the Queen has had her e-mail hacked, but to
show there's no bad feeling she's sent Rebbekah Brooks
a table reservation at the Paris Ritz"

Are these mean-spirited jokes? Because my set isn't like
that, and I can't tell if they're a bit nasty or not.

Y'know 'cos people actually died to create both jokes?

Maybe a bit soon for the saline gag, but the almighty Queen jokes are always good. Just in case it's been a bit long for people to remember details, you could say something like 'a trip to Paris'?

Is the second on about the Diana thing?

Not sure what first one was about. Is it really new news?

Quote: Gavin @ July 23 2011, 1:47 PM BST

Not sure what first one was about. Is it really new news?

View original

The papers'll reach Wales in a few months, and
you'll be like 'ahh, Saline, I get it'

If your set isn't like that then don't do either of them. You'll lead the audience into expecting something you won't deliver. Either they will like this kind of gag and then be disappointed you don't do more, or they won't like this kind of gag and you will have them on the back foot for a set they might otherwise enjoy.

Lol! I not really u[ tp date with the news. But Royals has a better appeal more pople familiar with it I tihnk

Quote: AJGO @ July 23 2011, 1:47 PM BST

Maybe a bit soon for the saline gag, but the almighty Queen jokes are always good. Just in case it's been a bit long for people to remember details, you could say something like 'a trip to Paris'?

View original

On revision I think the Di reference is clunky and a bit crap.

Quote: Badge @ July 23 2011, 1:51 PM BST

If your set isn't like that then don't do either of them.

View original

That confirms what I was thinking, cheers.

First one works as a shocker. But it's gonna set the tone for the rest of your stint. And may turn part of the audience against you.

Second one is a bit forced and old.

What will your next bit be, that you're trying to open to?

Quote: Jack Daniels @ July 23 2011, 1:43 PM BST

"I've been reading about these saline murders, is it just me who thinks that it's a tragic, tragic waste when a murderer seems shaggable"

View original

(On a personal note, although it's fine and works for the joke, is that chavvy looking tart really shaggable?)

It would've led onto...

Cheryl Cole is back to recording music again... HIP HIP..(crowd say hooray)

"Lucky us, If I was in a recording booth with Cheryl Cole I'd kick her out.
Sorry, not 'kick', 'eat'. I'm always messing that one up"

I'd shag her, but I wouldn't stick around for coffee afterwards.

JD if I was you I'd leave both of them out, the first is near the knuckle and the second is over the hill.

Quote: zooo @ July 23 2011, 1:57 PM BST

(On a personal note, although it's fine and works for the joke, is that chavvy looking tart really shaggable?)

View original

Must be the nurses uniform. And, the element of danger

Quote: Jack Daniels @ July 23 2011, 2:01 PM BST

It would've led onto...

Cheryl Cole is back to recording music again... HIP HIP..(crowd say hooray)

"Lucky us, If I was in a recording booth with Cheryl Cole I'd kick her out.
Sorry, not 'kick', 'eat'. I'm always messing that one up"

View original

Not great.

Jack what are you trying to say in your routine? It feels a little bit grasping for the laughs at the moment.

Maybe easier if you start with an idea, then make a punchline and then work backwards.

Quote: Jack Daniels @ July 23 2011, 2:02 PM BST

Must be the nurses uniform. And, the element of danger

View original

Ha!