THE METEOR DAMAGED COMMAND BASE OF METALUNA (FROM SCIFI CLASSIC This Island Earth)
EXETER AND BRACK ARE COWERING UNDER A TABLE (THEY ARE BIG HEADED 50S ALIENS)
BRACK
Damn those Zagons we have no chance against their super organised meteor attacks, and soon the dreaded homobeam will finish us off.
EXETER
I have a plan my old friend. I've discovered a small primitive planet in the universe of Sol they might just save us.
BRACK
They're a feirce warrior race, super athletic warriors, they have managed to master biogenetic weapons?
EXETER
Not quite.
BRACK
Oh they have millions of soldiers for us to plunder and die in our places?
EXETER
They're really sarcastic.
BRACK
So what?
EXETER
The Zagon's huge advantage is their fanatical devotion to their government. But a brilliantly targetted half hour broadcast of satirical critique could shatter their very society.
BRACK
And how do you propose we build this dooms day broadcast?
EXETER
I'll fly to Earth and establish a small satirical radio show one exclusively listened to by the most brilliant comedy writers. Then trick the writers into joining our crusade.
BRACK
That just might work. As long as the show's title sounds vaguely masturbatory.
SCENE2
THE NOW COMPLETED DESTROYED COMMAND BASE
GRAMS The Newsjack closing theme
IT HAS BEEN PLAYING ON AN INTEROSETER
EXETER TURNS OFF THE INTEROSETER
EXETER
What a load of crap. It's all mock interviews and rotten puns no wonder it didn't stop the terrible Zagon hordes.
BRACK
Told you we should have kidnapped News Revue. Crap here comes the homo beam again
GRAMS THEREMIN MUSIC
SCREEN GOES ALL TWINKLY
PULL BACK TO REVEAL EXETER AND BRACK ARE BEING BUMMED BY MUTANTS
EXETER
Could have been worse. We could have hired Sootyj. He wrote this shite.
